Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Deviation is the road to unhappiness


Life can be easy if you want it to be.

Book your table, be on time, order well, eat, pay, tip, leave.
Do that and your dining life will be an enjoyable one. Deviation is the road to heartache, tables with bad views, slow service, cold food and mouthy waiters.

Tonight's guests followed the path to dining enlightenment. They were particularly enlightened when it came to the 5th tenet of dining enlightenment, tipping.
Enlightened to the tune of £140 that's 280 of your America dollars!
Frickin sweet for a Monday night.

I'm feeling very fucking zen like right now

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

22 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Bender's Better Brother said...

Slipping a wallet out of one of their coats is not, strictly speaking, tipping.
Give it back.

Manuel said...

BBB: bwahahahaha I charmed it out actually.......taught by an old Indian man......

psychicgeek.com said...

I can't add anything to the discussion, actually I came here for a loan. Does $280 sound right?
Of course, I'm forgetful about repayment.

savannah said...

the tip was 280usd???? wtf was the bill, sugar????

Anonymous Boxer said...

And, adding a zero to "14" doesn't mean they won't figure it out... eventually.

Actually, I bet I know what you did to get that tip......

Medbh said...

I hope you're putting the cash in your shoes when you leave at night, Manuel. I know plenty of waiters who got rolled going home in uniform. Scary business.

Blessed be the generous.

MJ said...

What are you going to spend it on?

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Holy shit! Result!

conortje said...

someone gave me a box of ferrero rocher yesterday which is the biggest tip I ever got at work.

Old Knudsen said...

You put a jew to shame lad, no offense to any hooked nosed money lenders.

sheepworrier said...

Food whore.
Where did I leave that number for the inland revenue...

Queen Of Clean said...

One word Manny....'pool'!!!:)

Manuel said...

pgeek: no problem...see fat tony soprano for terms.....

savannah: about £600.......freaking magic moments

boxer: I'm like a wallet charmer........

medbh: straight into a taxi.....no walking no risk....Blessed be the generous, for theirs is the kingdom of the restaurant...

mj: hats! and razors!

sam: couldn't have put it better....

conortje: did you have to give 10% to someone else?

old k: schlep.....

sheepo: I'll deny everything!

quueenniiee: liver? black? swimming? ...of emptiness?

Gypsy said...

Manuel hit the Mother lode...woohoo!

Queen Of Clean said...

Hah! You know what I mean...sharing is caring, do you not pool yer tips?

Urgh, now got horrible thoughts of Blackpool...why does anyone go there?

Yours, Quernie.

Nick said...

Ha, now I've got your number, Manuel! You always claim your big priority is giving your diners a good time, keeping them happy etc, but really it's only the tips you want isn't it? TIPS TIPS TIPS! And to think I once prayed to Saint Manuel every night for guidance. You've broken my heart.

INNER VOICES said...

bigger tits=bigger tips. were you wearing that low cut apron? tied just right?

nice monday night haul... spending it on peelers i hope!

Quickroute said...

I thought you worked in a restaurant, not a lapdancing club?

Manuel said...

gypsy: and spent it too

queenie: yes we do, but I was on my own so I split it with various shops in town...

nick: sorry I gave you that impression....I'm all about the money! and a wee bit about the love....which generates the money...

voices: peelers in Belfast are the cops! yes I had my tight apron on.....very tight!

quickie: I do! but I know how to shake my booty!

fatmammycat said...

Aw righ'! Free money, gud, velly gud indeed, I'm all for that.

INNER VOICES said...

hmm... peelers in canada dance around poles and take you to little private booths, for um....
we call em strippers in the states, but to me its more exciting when i think they are "peeling" their clothes off.... my bad. so what did you do with the money?

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