Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Crikey!

fish face?

Automated ordering systems now used in most restaurants for sending the order to the kitchen, bar, etc are great. They make life easier, quicker, and mean less contact with the cooker jockeys in the kitchen which is clearly a good thing for us waiters. They really do make life better for both the wait staff and the guests alike, except when they don't....

Particularly when this happens...


From the BBC via an emailer, thanks Mr Nash....whoever you are!

"A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience - without Gordon Ramsay.

Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire.

Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service.

The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.

Ms Watkin said: "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language.

"We actually booked the table for 8 o' clock in the evening, by the time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn't actually receive our food until quarter past 10."

She added: "I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation.

"I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

TV chef Gordon Ramsay's foul-mouthed diatribes on his Channel 4 show The F Word have given viewers an insight into the often industrial language of the restaurant kitchen.

Joe Delucci's owner Mr Langsdon said the message had been meant to be seen only by kitchen staff and he did not know how it ended up as an item on the receipt.

He said: "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there.

"But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they're very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we'd like them to."

He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity.

The cost of the meal came to £284.68, including a 10% service charge."

Bwahahahahaha!

I shouldn't laugh but it's hard not to. I admit I have sent rude messages to the kitchen about customers but our system doesn't print them on the bill, thank fuckity! Telling a customer to "Suck my d*** f*** face" is as bad as it gets, but sticking a service charge on the bill after the customer has complained about poor service is in my opinion even worse. And the owner's priorities seems a bit askew too,

He said: "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there"

Eh no, you need to find the little scroate that wrote it and beat him to a merry pulp for dropping you in it and probably signaling the end of you restaurant business. As if it was the fact that it printed on the bill rather than it was typed at all!

Plonker.

Like I said I've done it too. But doing it is one thing, getting caught is something else all together.

but if it was his last shift and he was leaving anyway......

26 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Bender's Better Brother said...

He's offered them a free meal. You can see them coming back for that can't you?

Manuel said...

I would, hell yes. Make them squirm like fuck all night long.....

ellie said...

Hilarious! I have often thought about personalised notes on repeat prescriptions but the nearest we have got to an insult is Merry Christmas, apparently it's not very PC, we have even had to remove the Gideons bibles from the waiting room.
I wish people would get over themselves.

Old Knudsen said...

No Gideon bibles? the world has gone to Hell. At least they weren't charging for the oral sex.

As a fellow waiter I ask you to be a bit more fucking professional in future manuel or we'll take away yer card.

Medbh said...

Now that's creative.
Insulting someone AND adding a service charge?
Priceless.

Let's Kill Saturday Night said...

Typical of society today that they want to be compensated for a bit of mild offence. Of course, they should get an apology but they look to be just after a quick buck for nothing.

Bitchy Waitress said...

Hahahahaha! That's great! (and no-so-great for the patron...but still pretty fuckin great!) I would DEFINITELY go back! (And, I guess I should start reading over the check carefully before delivering it to the table...) :)

Quickroute said...

look.... yesterday you got an extra large tip for shakin' your thang and today your competition is giving away freebie BJ's i.e. $0.00 - I don't know if it's the credit crunch but seems to me like the restaurant industry is adapting stupendiously to the credit crunch! - Respect!

The Troll said...

WTF is a "meatball starter"? They should be closed down just for pretending that counts as an appetizer. And the customers should be shot for ordering 3 of them.

Anonymous Boxer said...

This is the best laugh I've had all day. It beats me picking up the phone and saying "if I have to talk to one more idiot about pastry cases I'm going to kill" and realizing it was the guy asking about pastry cases.

and no, I did not give him a free one.

He hung up too fast.

MJ said...

Suck my dick fish face?

Nice one!

sheepworrier said...

Brilliant. Now how much would your establishment have to pay out if your customers ever found out you were blogging about them, Manuel?
Whats the name of your restaurant again...?

conortje said...

I thought of you straight away when I saw the article this morning - isn't that sweet ;-)

livesbythewoods said...

Yep, saw that and thought it was superb that the restauranteur was more concerend about how the bill got to the customer, than what his staff were doing writing rude messages.

They should go back for the free meal and enjoy the world's longest, most expensive, dinner.

Queen Of Clean said...

Sorry, I read that as suck my fish...don't they provide cutlery?

Class!

psychicgeek.com said...

I know I wouldn't be able to trust myself with one of those rigs.
There would be draft posts on em.

INNER VOICES said...

see here, if that were my place, every bill would have some custom message on it. dont like the service here, too bad... like the way things are going, i might accidentaly put that cute little hostesses phone number at the top. see where im going with this? why doesnt management grow a set.

upset waitress said...

Hahahahaha I think he should get a raise!

camsavwin said...

That's hilarious. I might even be amused if I got that on my bill.

Roger said...

Suspect Chateau Buckfast is the House Red.

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Ha! That's funny.

Manuel said...

lazy lazy lazy day off....I will respond tomorrow....honest

jason said...

hey, here is the site i was talking about where i made the extra cash, I was making about $900 extra a month...
check it out ..

belfast plate carrier said...

heh rude messages to the kitchen rule. Making up your own dishes too. Some classics
Vegan Beef
Bum Gravy
Man Fat
Dingleberry Pavlova
Bum Juice

Manuel said...

BPC: Ah but it's even more fun when they make them!! Hey would you be interested in taking part in an "interview" for well done fillet? If so drop me an email. storiesformanuel@gmail.com It would be a fairly regular feature focusing on waiter types like yerself....let me know....

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