Sunday, 30 March 2008

What a bloody night....

Full house tonight.


They were all out,
the good
the bad
the fat
the thin
the wiseguys
the not so wiseguys
the posh
the slobs
the slobby posh
the cool
the dull
the super hot
the super dull
the super soupers
the happy couples
the laughing couples
the resenting every minutes couples
the bloody steakers
the burn it's
the send it backers
the it's too hoters
the it's too colders
goldilocks (just right)
the back slappers
the arm holders
the bum watchers (I saw you)
the old
the young
the old enough to know better
the suits
the hipsters
the very bad shirts
the friends of Jesus
the friends of Arthur (Guinness)
the friends of Manuel
and the big ass tippers,
lots of them.

Tonight was a joy to work. I was in rare form and was knocking out one liners like Federer serves aces. BAM BAM BAM POW! I was on fire. There is nothing like being skint to make you work that little bit harder. I owned that fucking floor tonight. I preempted every request and was two steps ahead all night long. Until....

...I went for a smoke and as I meandered my way out the back I felt the first twinge of the waiters darkest fear. My ass went tight and a pain shot down my leg.......

FUCK

There was no doubting it......CHEFS ARSE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gone went the good mood, and the preempting of anything but pain. I couldn't walk. Well I could but I looked like a duck. There was only about an hour to go but still I was injured and there was no substitute to come on. So a night that ran like a dream ended in mincing pain.

Yin and Yang isn't it.........?

10 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Mudflapgypsy said...

There is a joke in here somewhere about mincing, pain and cream for your arse.
Aren't you glad I'm not a comedian?

MJ said...

"the bum watchers"

You saw me!

You need a nice soothing salve for your sugarloaf.

It's your best ASSet.

Big Dave V said...

Hey man, your blog is some craic! End of the month is always good banter. I work for a Belfast Hotel / Bar and by jesus the banter was non-stop with every hero and scrote under the sun passing through our doors tonight.

Chef's arse is never a good one, I think a slightly worse case is the "thighs of death"...you can barely walk after.

bendersbetterbrother said...

I haven't even had me breakfast yet. Why did you give me THAT picture?

savannah said...

yin and yang true enough, but on the bright side...it was the last hour of what sounds like a very profitable night....hope you're feeling better this morning, sugar! ;-)
xoxxo

Medbh said...

I hope your pockets are full of cash as some form of compensation, at least.

Queenie said...

Sudocrem....swear by it!

Oh, and cotton undies.

upset waitress said...

I would hate to be your under pants!

biggearhead said...

I went back and read the linked post regarding "Chef's Arse" as well, comments and all. I can't believe a motorcyclist hasn't chimed in with a known preventative: Anti Monkey Butt Powder. That's the real name of it. There's no corn starch in it (that plays hell with the ladies' more delicate areas). Laugh all you want, but if you use it you can laugh without pain. Get it online from a cycle shop.

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