Monday, 3 March 2008

The mysterious no show of Leunam

Northerners love going South of the border down Mexico way. We get to do our "funny" top o' the morning voices, and that's always fun! We take the piss and say "t'be sure" when anyone asks us something.

"Taxi sir?" says he.

"T'be sure" says I.

"Wanker" says he.

I had to stop it, I was in danger of getting my ass handed to me by shop keepers, taxi drivers and a rather angry man in the train station. Some people cant take a joke.
The Irish Blog Awards were a blast. Weird in many respects but a blast all the same. I say weird because whilst you feel you know a lot about the people there you really don't know them at all. You don't know their real names, you don't know what they look like, you don't know if they are going to be the sort of people you would usually cross the road to get away from or if you will make a new life long friend.

What I discovered though was that the people who rant and rave and swear and threaten on their blogs were very quiet almost shy in real life and that those who appear quiet and sane online are in fact bonkers in the flesh. That was quite odd.

Reading blogs is no different to reading books. You imagine what the characters look like, how tall they will be, what their voice sounds like, even down to the type of clothes they wear. I was stunned as people who I assumed were as tall as buildings turned out to be no taller than a dwarf in heels. People who I assumed were young turned out to be as old as my dad. It was strange. And it did take a while to get used to the new faces with real names.

All these shocks and oddities aside the most shocking part of the night was the no show of my alter ego Leunam. I remained lucid and at no point felt the need to cry, shout, swear, or offer anyone outside. I did have to bite my lip for a moment to stop myself from crying when I realised I wouldn't be going home with anything more than a pounding headache. But despite having drunk many many gin and tonics I remained fairly, well sober is not the word, but I wasn't totally shit faced. This is a definite first for me.

I am suffering though.

And a cyclist did have to swerve round me on Harcourt Street as I puked the last of the gin out of my system whilst I waited outside my hotel for my taxi. Very very classy. I was later to discover that the last of my gin had not been expelled. And had to make a rushed visit to the toilets in Connolly Station. If I hadn't needed to puke because of the gin then the toilets alone would have had you gagging. Very fucking grim.

I had a giggle and the night wouldn't have been so much fun if it hadn't have been for Medbh and Gimme. Cheers for that! And to everyone that I met I say thanks, it was a great night. I'm not gonna name you all because I'll miss someone and you'll get upset and pull me from your blogroll. You know I'm right. And I have to finish with an apology, well done fillet isn't known for apologies, Deborah I'm so sorry that I missed the foodies lunch. I was sick....really really sick.....sorry

Normal order tomorrow folks right now I have dwarves to entertain/expel........

****afternoon update****
dwarves have gone, which is a fucking result as has Gimme,
to Spain on his jollys, but not before he left us his take on the IBAs
you should read this, for balance.....

31 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

Well, you managed to evade being photographed as far as I can see. Unless of course you left that until your pre taxi puke. Bet people were queuing up to sit beside on on the train too. Silver lining though. Train's always good for a dribble and sleep.

Congrats on getting to the short, short list. Wished I'd voted now. Don't even like pizza.

And did anyone else make in down from deNort?

Bock the Robber said...

So that's why you were sitting on the steps of the hotel, looking fucking green.

MJ said...

I've got a place for you to be sick in.

Go pick up your Award over at my blog.

Nick said...

Commiserations on being shamefully snubbed by the judges, whoever they may be and however they make their decisions. Just wondering how my own blog comes across - ranting and raving or quiet and sane? Or just cooked to a turn with some piquant seasoning?

Manuel said...

bbb: there was a fair smattering of Northerners including Phil O'Kane, Stuart Bailie, Sharon from the voyage who won best specialist blog, and at least two og my regular customers! I shit you not.......now that had me scurrying for cover....

Bock: It was literally moments before you came wandering past.......

mj: another proud moment for me....thank you mj....[wipes tears from eye]

nick: In real life you wear tracksuits, smoke b&h, drink WKD, and swear uncontrollably.........probably....

sheepworrier said...

Ah, sounds like you had a great time Manuel. Unlucky about missing the award - next year etc etc.

Manuel said...

Sheepo: yes the plotting begins.....mwahahahahahahahaha

Gypsy said...

Aww honey, sorry you didn't come away with the prize but at least you got to meet some interesting people and put some faces to the names. Now I have to wonder how I would come across....hmmmmm....loud and obnoxious, quiet and shy, definitely not as tall as a building....well I'm afraid you will just have to keep on guessing as will I.

Manuel said...

GYPSY: probably loud and crazy.......like a crazy person......you know what I mean....hehehe

sheepworrier said...

So what we doing tonight Manuel?

The same thing we do every night Sheepie, try to take over the Irish Blog awards!

Twenty Major said...

Good to meet you, sir. Thanks for the badge. I'll treasure it.

Manuel said...

Sheepo: pinky and the brain eh? Classic and very very accurate......

Twenty: is that one or two lies at the same time? Ha! Only joking,good to meet you too.......both those dvd players on ebay yet?

Deborah said...

Dude... no worries Manuel. If I hadn't organised the thing, I wouldn't have gone myself. The head was not so good the next morning at all. Ugh... still feel it today! ;-) Great to meet you!

Manuel said...

Deborah: Oh I felt so bad......both for skipping off home and sick in the tummy.....it was a joy and a pleasure to meet you too.........

Conan Drumm said...

Better luck next time, Manuel. The something something for he who waits.

(Not being a regular boozer I'm not yet over my own Dublin trip)

Nick said...

Tracksuits, B&H, WKD, uncontrollable swearing? No no, you've mixed me up with Grandad. Or Knudsen. I wear Armani suits, Raybans, and an absolutely to-die-for Gucci handbag. That's when I'm not in the psychiatric unit.

Manuel said...

conan: Ah sure it is all good craic.....I may never be over it....

Nick: Not sure which is worse.......!!

Twenty Major said...

.both those dvd players on ebay yet?

I tried to bribe a barman with one last night for some late, late booze...

Manuel said...

twenty: should tried a waiter.....we'll do anything for electronic goodies......ANYTHING......!

Anonymous Boxer said...

I'm sure MJ's award made it alllllll better.

Manuel said...

Boxer: I haven't been so "happy" since Knudsen gave me an award......!

fatmammycat said...

I'd say there's many a tender head around the land Manuel. Many.

Manuel said...

FMC: But two days for fuck sake! I wasn't even that pished.....by comparison....

OneForTheRoad said...

Sorry I missed you hombre. Got one of your badges though!

Manuel said...

One for...: That's all that really matters....hope it was one of the "screw you" ones .......

The Hangar Queen said...

It was a delight to meet you and I would have been honoured to hold your hair while you yakked.

Wait a sec.....

Although you did give me a turn when your suave 007 baddie self called out my name as Sam and I slithered past in our hotel.

Love it.

Medbh said...

Sorry to be late on the thread!
You are a prince among men, Manuel, and it was a pleasure to meet you.
I have your scarf and will bring it up, btw.

Manuel said...

Hangar: It was my absolute pleasure to meet you and Sam on Saturday!!

Medbh: awh.......

jen said...

Twas a pleasure to meet you last week. I will wear my Well Done Fillet badge with pride...

Manuel said...

Jen the pleasure was all mine......

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