Tuesday, 15 January 2008

The largest collection of thimbles in Europe? Bollocks!


The Irish Blog Awards are to take place on the 1st of March in the Alexander Hotel. And I'm starting to get excited. It's not the will I won't I win thing that has me excited, I blog for the love of blogging not for fame or awards*, but rather I am excited about meeting fellow bloggers. It will be amusing to put faces to names, even if the names aren't their real names, I assume their faces will be genuine. It will also be a relief to be in a place with lots of like minded people who share the same concerns as you, stats, hits, counts, links, etc. I guess it must be like a meeting of NAMBLA but without the inappropriate boy love.

It will be a bit like reading a book and imagining the characters in a particular way then watching the movie version only to find your illusions shattered when Ben Stiller plays the lead role. You know what I mean? I've spent the long dull evenings at work recently wondering what my favourite Irish bloggers look like.....I haven't slept well since.

Is Fat Mammy Cat really a Fat Mammy or is she Amy Winehouse with a flame red mop of hair? She is, in my thoughts. Is Gimme really Dublin's answer to Lance Armstrong or is he a fat man on a little bike. (Much like me) And why do I have this constant nagging feeling that Twenty Major is actually Mary Harney? Too far with that one? Sorry.


through the reality filter
Gimme and Fat Mammy Cat

Point is that with blogging you can make yourself what ever you want to be. You can do a post saying that you have 2 degrees from Oxford and that you have the largest collections of thimbles in Europe and that you are a 27 year old woman when in fact you are a 53 year old man with no formal qualifications and only the second largest collection of thimbles in Europe. I expect things to be different after the blog awards. Maybe there will be a loss of innocence....

...especially if I vomit on you. And that is a distinct possibility. Reading my stories of being drunk and the inevitable hangover is one thing but being there live from the crime is a whole other life threatening scenario. One that few people would volunteer for. Now you can say things like "you don't have to get drunk" or "drink water between pints" but that isn't the way things go down when Manuel hits the hot sauce. I drink until if fall over. I'm not being macho here. I wish I could realise when I've had enough but I cant. I just keep glug glugging until I've told everyone a. that I love them b. my deepest darkest secrets, and c. that I'm a waiter and I love being a waiter blah blah blah. Oh sweet Jebus what am I doing? Ah blog gold people, sick covered blog gold but gold all the same.

I note that there is a ladies only pre awards meet up organised by Sabrina and Ina in The Market Bar on Fade Street, Dublin 2 (01) 6139094 From 4:30 until whenever. Clicky the piccy for details.

tea?
doubt it some how....


If anyone with a penis or even without a wonder stick wants to meet up before hand and help get Manuel pished before he gets to the hotel relaxed and in the mood for a night of amusement and gaiety then lets get something organised. If the ladies are having a tea party I want one too suggest a meeting at a car show room or auto garage or in a tool shop. Or a bar, probably best off in a bar? Maybe a restaurant, is Mr Mulley feeding us? Any thoughts? Also I need an hotel for the night. Any good/sensibly priced ideas? There's a pint in it.....

...well there will be a few pints over it by the time I finish.

* I don't mean that, I don't mean that, I don't mean that one little bit

37 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Tony said...

Honestly, the idea of being a part of the "getting manuel drunk beyond recognition" experience makes me want to check on prices for flights to Ireland! Have fun, and I hope it doesn't turn out like you know, reality crushing fantasy...your drinling style sounds a lot like my girlfriend's (minus the "luv u" to everyone). She too needs to learn how to pace herself - i spent my saturday night holding her hair out of the toilet and assuring her it would be more comfortable to sleep in bed than crumpled up at the base of it...

Manuel said...

Tony: I had the drinking skills of a wizened old sailor back in the old days....but not so much any more....you turn 30 and the arse drops out of your game....

Medbh said...

Can't wait to meet you and the lovely LMM.
I'll send you an email...

Manuel said...

Medbh: excited? I'm gonna wet myself....and it's still too far away to start a countdown.....

Twenty Major said...

You sick bastard. I'll see you on the night. Oh yes.

I'll probably say "Hello", for I am polite like that.

Manuel said...

twenty major: you say hello and I'll probably puke on you.....what north south divide?

bendersbetterbrother said...

So LMM gets a night out at last. God love her.
Does the hotel have a fireplace to sleep on or are you bringing your own?

Manuel said...

bbb: bwahahaha I feel asleep on a sofa at the belfast Radisson Hotel after another awards jobby that I was at......pished as a fart....I have a lot of previous....

savannah said...

how EXCITING, sugar! wish i could get there in march, but sadly, that's not possible! ;-(

psychicgeek.com said...

Well if you plan on getting wasted, at least bring a camera, so you will have some accounting of the affair. And evidence. We like photographic evidence. We used to put makeup on those who passed out, and then take their picture. Good times...

Rosie said...

ooooh! would love to meet the pair of you. not sure about going to the awards themselves as they sound a little scary (i'm a wallflower, really) but would definitely stand you a pint in my home town.

dave said...

You're getting excited about an awards ceremony!??
WTF is the world coming to?

Was your cycling proficiency test certificate or membership of the Tufty club not enough?

Deborah said...

I know what you mean Manuel. I was thinking of Organizing a foodie brunch next morning! What do you think? Course I can't photoshop a groovy logo like Sabrina, but I happen to notice you have some uh... experience in that area. Ahem!

sheepworrier said...

You know what they do to 'nordies' down there Manuel? They over-charge you on drinks, the b*stards!

nursemyra said...

man I would love to go to a bloggers party. hopefully I'd get to fuck papersurfer then hang out with upsetwaitress and daisyfae.

maybe spend the wee hours swapping corsets.....

fatmammycat said...

I am...well I'm flabbergasted really. WInehouse? WINEHOUSE? The woman has no teeth. She has tattoos, she... she looks like she doesn't wash.
I'm going to sic Twenty on you. 'Hello' my arse. Wear a cod piece. A glittery codpiece so that you are easy to pick out.

Gypsy said...

That sounds like a great night. Alas, all the bloggers I would like to meet are on the other side of the world but you never know. One day.......

conortje said...

meeting everyone in real life? It can only end in tears... you mark my words... [scary thunder and lightening plays in background]

gimme a minute said...

Manuel:
Oh you and your nail on the heading.

Save me two seats.

sprouter said...

id come for pre-drinks but i live in manchester and neither blog nor wait. i just read.

Caro said...

Can somebody please take pictures for those of us who can't be there? Or feck everyone else and take some pictures for me? Please?

Manuel said...

savannah: next year......?

geek: you mean evidence for the prosecution....

rosie: wallflower ha! not a chance.....

dave: ah the tufty club.....happy days...drugs, drink, sex....safe crossing of roads...

debs: i'll email you soon...

sheepo: i'll be wearing my, "what did you ever do for us" face

nursemyra: me too?

Manuel said...

more later

Native Minnow said...

I'm with Gypsy on this one. I already know the Vegas bloggers I read, and can hang out with them anytime. As for wanting to meet others, they all live too far away. Good luck at the awards ceremony though.

INNER VOICES said...

good luck, sounds like fun... i would go in armed, crazy fuckin bloggers over there. armed and drunk i say!

Is it just me? said...

I think you should wear your waiters uniform so I can tell who you are...NO idea how you'd recognise me?...perhaps I should come carrying a casserole of ratatouille and some shoes?...Bewleys Hotel in Ballsbridge..109 euro and late bar...

MJ said...

I want to know who Knudsen's date will be at the ceremony.

Old Knudsen said...

I'll see you there too, I'm only coming doon from Killamory because they've already told me I had Best Blog and most sexy Blogger awards otherwise I wouldn't bother. I'll be the one wearing the cap smelling like piss. What am I thinking its Ireland, ok then I'll also wear a sky blue jumper.

Is it just me? said...

Old Knudsen sounds like my kind of date...have we established whether he has a date for the awards?

Bock the Robber said...

Pint?

Manuel said...

FMC: hehehehehe wrong am I? Prove it....

Gypsy: you host it next year....give us all a day out....

Conortje: oh there'll be tears for sure....

Gimme: hehehehehe eh only joking [realises I might get a kicking]

sprouter: hey if you're a red you can come along....I'll buy yours.....but I run a very strict no bertie policy...joking....welcome sprouter...

Caro: no pictures....speak to my agent...

Native Minnow: Vegas eh....you can host the next one...

Inner voices: sweet plan....

Is it?: I have a plan....I don't want to talk about it just yet....

MJ: one of his alter egos no doubt...

Old K: no blues.....ever

Is it: Jesus! Be careful what you ask for

Bock: Yes....I have a plan....more soon....

nursemyra said...

I dunno... have you ever worn a corset before?

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

I'm staying in the Russell Court Hotel on Harcourt street and Dev's just emailed to say she's staying there too. It looks OK - reasonably priced, right near the green. Fmc says that Jury's ar Christchurch is a good bet too that won't break the bank.

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Have you convinced LMM to come yet?

Queen Of Clean said...

Have you found an Hotel to vomit in yet?.....cos you aint using mine!

Good luck, you deserve an award, you make me laugh, and thats no mean feat.

Manuel said...

Nursemyra: I'm game for anything.....

Sam: I'm pretty sure I've got the Alexander sorted for £92 LMM found an offer......legend......She is still undecided.....

Quennie: Awh thanks......blushing....

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