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Wednesday 16 January 2008

....goes together like a horse and carriage.

Charles Bronson
goes well with everything


Some things just go together, they compliment each other. In some cases they would be nothing if the other wasn't there. I'm looking at you Mr Garfunkel. Would Harold really have so much fun without Maude? Would you really eat chips without ketchup? Would The Beatles have hit the top without Yoko? Okay bad example but you get the point.

Some things just don't work together. Come on lets be honest neither Paul McCartney or Michael Jackson really came out of the whole "Say Say Say" abomination very well. On paper it looked like a good idea, one was the Prince/Peter Pan of pop the other was in the one of the biggest and most successful bands of all time. But when they were put together we didn't get a tune that united the worlds waring factions or even that just took the pain away of our daily drudgery. No, we got shite instead of gold.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea.....

Oh yeah, that's what it was.....fusion or the stuffing together of one cultures food with that of another. Some times it works, sometimes it doesn't. Tex-Mex works. Anglo French also works. You don't see many Austro-Mex restaurants and thankfully the high street is still free of a Vietnamese-Swedish eaterie. Oh the horror. It seems obvious what foods compliment each other, and it follows that it's fairly obvious what foods don't work well together.

So why oh why oh why would you go to a restaurant and order a stir fry dish with a portion of champ on the side AND (it doesn't end there) a portion of chilli sauce to go with it?

Why?

Why would you do that?

Why would you do that when the waiter has advised against it? The sharp intake of air that I took could not have been taken as a positive sign. When I said "Yeah....but maybe just a portion of fries." And when you still insisted on ordering the champ I explained that mashed potatoes and noodles don't really go together you replied, "Yeah but I'm strange like that."

Strange? You're not strange, you're a wab. You are a sweaty cheese crusted wab at that. But it wasn't ordering champ and noodles that makes you the wab you are, it was the complaining about it after that makes you the wab. Wab.

Champ good. Noodles good. Champ and noodles together very very bad....

It's times like this when I need a drink and something nice to eat. But can I be arsed to cook and fix myself a drink? No, no I can't. Thankfully other people have solved this food or drink conundrum.....

The Bourbon and Blood

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Charles Bronson. Bourbon on the rocks with a lightly seared piece of seasoned fillet steak. Beautiful......There should be more meat in cocktails. If you want more click...

You can just see how that beauty was created. It was probably late night in a kitchen somewhere, hungry and drunk maybe stoned too. "Hey hey guys....you gotta try this man....meat and booze....yeah!! Just pause Death Wish and try it."

In other news Dennis is hosting this weeks RoundTable.....amusing as always.

25 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Megan McGurk said...

Oh dear jeebus.
Meat and bourbon?
I'd say that's a visible sign of overcompensation.
Why not just have a glass of testosterone and call it a day.
Ack.

The Hangar Queen said...

Double Ack!!

Make sure you bring it to Dublin so I can throw in in your face..or drink it..who the fuck knows?

I really will be there.

The Mistress said...

Does the alcohol serve as a marinade?

I eat chips without ketchup. Malt vinegar and salt only.

Am I strange? Or a wab?

tallulahbloom said...

That picture made me feel very ill indeed. As for fusion restaurants I walked past a new one in amsterdam that is a Thai-Tex place, I had to go back and read the sign again!!

Anonymous said...

stir fry and mashed potatoes? you gotta be kidding!

Is it just me? said...

Mr Isit has a favourite dish at 'Montys of Kathmandu' in Dublin...it consists of finely minced raw fillet beef with a whiskey chaser...I've sat beside him while he's consumed this.

Anonymous said...

I dunno Manuel, you could be witnessing the beginning of a new culinary trend. It actually sounds quite nice to me... but then again I would ocassionally order lasagne and champ in Spuds.

The Charles Bronson is just plain wrong. It should be medium rare.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps he would have been better having some HP sauce. That goes with anything.

Washed down with a little concoction of my own...a Black Sabbath.
1 third buckfast, 1 third Jack Daniels and 1 third vodka.

There's a reason I only ever had it once.

Dea said...

Um, yeah, but no, but yeah, but no. Wrong. Just plain wrong. Yuck.

It's like those all you can eat buffets in American *shudders just thinking about it* these people PILE their plates up with all varieties of cuisine, Chinese mingling with Italian with a side of Thai. Just nasty. It's like they don't realise the fucking buffet is still going to be there when they get back. Ugh!

Anonymous said...

Wow - you've actually found a cocktail I wouldn't drink! Who'd have thought it...

Anonymous said...

Black Sabbath, eh Dave?
Do they not sell that in bottles? I think its called Pimms...

Anonymous said...

They don't make 'em like that in The Merchant. Although if they did I imagine they'd carve it off a live steer right in front of your eyes.

Where do you think the noodle/champ gourmet originated from (not that I'm suggesting he might be a culchie or anything...)

Native Minnow said...

Sometimes I eat food in strange combinations, but never, EVER in a public restaurant.

Manuel said...

medbh: hahahaha! brilliant....

hangar queen: you know you want one...

mj: no, you are a very special bunny...

tallulahbloom: good grief is ther no end to this madness....

nursemyra: the waiter doesn't lie....often

Is it?: tremendous....I doff my hat to Mr Isit

Sheepo: no no no....I might have a Charles Bronson weekend......

Dave: sauce anglais as the French rather sniffly call it...

Debs: bwahahahahaha

Conortje: there's some more if you click the scary ass link....

Sheepo: hehehehe

bbb: actually no....English.....huh!

Manuel said...

Minnow: oh me too....like when I was a veggie....peas n beans.....mmmmmm....

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, an English culchie. Gotcha.

Anonymous said...

I knew a girl once who had sugar sandwiches for breakfast every day.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, we'd better not come to your restaurant, Manuel, we might order some totally horrifying combination of foods. I think Jenny would order chips with anything if she could - chips with pizza, chips with risotto. Maybe even chips with ice cream.

INNER VOICES said...

um, so what was yer grand plan?!?! did i miss it? bloody drinks? we have those here. just have to remove the string before your first sip.... but i still think a bloody shoot out would be fun...

Queen Of Clean said...

Mmmmm, looks delicious.

Chips and chocolate, together, food of angels.

Your template hurts my eyes.

xx

ellie said...

Bourbon? Is that a clue?

Anonymous said...

Yes, I would drink bourbon with a twist of meat. Raw tuna and Bombay sounds good too.

Manuel said...

BBB: that's about right actually......

Sam: Dirty girl....

Nick: Chips are the one dish I make allowances for.....unless of course you already have mash....then it's just wrong...

Inner: Crikey....

Queenie: Read it more...your eye will adjust....I will never change.....

Ellie: Bless....wrong again...and I hate that place...... terrible food...

Upset: Actually that does sound good.....

Karen said...

Awrighty I am going to have to hang my ass out to dry here....WTF is champ? Oh and Manuel....not much effects my stomach but that pic truly had it regurgitating something nasty.

Anonymous said...

Gypsy - to quote from Wikipedia: Champ is an Irish dish, made by combining mashed potatoes and chopped scallions (spring onions) with butter and milk, and optionally, salt and pepper. Champ is similar to the Irish dish Colcannon, which uses kale or cabbage in place of scallions. (And properly made, it's divine)