Putin? You have to be joking

Think about it....

1. We bring you drink......you people need the drink just to get through the day.
2. We bring you food...if left to your own devices most of you would starve if you had to fend for yourselves.
3. We don't ride horses, go fishing or hunting with our shirts off......we don't engage in many out door physical pursuits to be honest, unless you count serving food outside on the 5 sunny days a year which we are blessed with here.
4. We have never, knowingly, poisoned any Russian dissidents. Maybe a few estate agents, but hey who cares about them, right?
5. We have never rattled this or any other nation into a nationalist frenzy. But we probably would if there was any money in it.
6. We haven't rigged any elections. We are far too apathetic for that.
7. Waiters have never raged a bloody and hideous war of attrition against anyone. But that day is coming. Just as soon as I can get the helicopters.
8. We certainly don't have $41m squirreled away in secret bank accounts. I have about £60 in my change jar. It's good to have a retirement fund.
9. We don't have a questionable human rights record. Buss boys, bar staff, chefs, and managers are all fair game and deserve a good beating from time to time.
10. And if we wanted to, which we don't, we could run for the next Presidency of Russia. Ha, so take that Putin you arse.
11. And ask yourself this, who has had a greater impact on your life in the last year, waiters or Putin? Don't answer that if you are Marina Litvinenko.........
    

Surely waiters are better and fitter winners of Time Magazine's person of the year. They gave it to him for bringing his country "roaring back to the table of world power." Well with that sort of reasoning why not give it Iran's Ahmadinejad? Or hell if they are setting their sights low why just not give it to the Chuckle brothers, Messrs. Paisley and McGuinness?

If not this year then next year......the time of the Waiter is coming.......and we are bringing our little knives with us......