Menu...

Claridges tonight. Did I mention that already? It's the whole point of the London trip. I rarely looked at the menu in the run up to the trip except on days when I had the blues or something. Nothing like Pacific braised halibut to chase away the wobbles.

Huh no tacos, who would have thought it?

click it and lick it...

Guess what I'm gonna order tonight and the closest wins a badge set.

Whoring...

make like a Nike ad and "just do it"....

The first twenty get extra badges.

Short list for a short sort of chap....

I made the short list! Check me out! Nominated for 5, shortlisted in one. Fair enough. Now I know how Scorcese felt. As a way of thanking those who nominated me for an Irish Blog Award I'm offering ten more free badge sets for the first ten to ask for them. Just email me with your address. But it doesn't end there, oh no, there's more....

There is a Well Done Fillet Reader Loyalty Card for everyone!

Just follow the handy instruction below and start reaping the "benefits"

1. Right click and save the image
2. Print the image onto some nice paper, preferably glossy stuff
3. Carefully cut out the image. I've included some handy "cut along" lines so even the drunkest of you can do it without making a bollocks of it.
4. Using some paper glue stick the two halves together
5. Take to your local print shop or mate's office and get it laminated.
6. Present at your favourite restaurant before you are seated and start getting some real waiter love, the sort you always heard about but never got.
   

Small Print
1.Card can be revoked at any time and without any obvious reason
2. Well Done Fillet, it's employees, editors, family members, financiers and Manuel T Waiter will
not be held responsible for any embarrassment caused by presenting this card at any restaurant
3. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer
4. Not all "benefits" are available at all times (this applies particularly to sarcasm and wisecracks)
5. Hot Waiter guarantee not available on Mondays
6. Don't ever use this card whilst drinking
7. Don't ever use this card

Peeking behind the apron.....when it's still on

click click click
went the readers fingers

Twice in in the last seven days I have taken phone calls regarding naked waiter services. Not that anyone has been asking to peek behind my apron. But the women of Belfast seem to want more from their waiters these days than a cheeky wink and good wine recommendation. Some don't even want that!

Let me make this clear....

....not whilst I still have the ability to elevate my nose, and can still say no without having to resort to a voice box, and can button my own shirt and zip my own pants unaided, whilst their is still fight in my blood and sweat on my brow will any god damn buffed up fake waiter with black lycra shorts and dickie bow serve but even a glass of water in my god damn restaurant. As I write this I am standing up with a pair of black trousers held over my head Charlton Heston style,

"Over my cold, dead but covered up legs, will a naked waiter serve in my restaurant."

Naked waiters? They shame us all, even the dogs in the street.......(not that there are many dogs on the street any more, Thatcher killed them all for the fun of it...)

Even your Buddy Jesus wears one...

There is a free badge set for the first ten people to email me

storiesformanuel[at]gmail[dot]com

UPDATE @ 10AM
ALL FREE BADGES GONE
AWH
CLICK THE BUY NOW BUTTON

For everyone else they are available for £5.00 per set including postage no matter where you live (even Lisburn, Toronto, NYC, Melbourne etc)

If they are good enough for Danny and Amy then they are good enough for you...

Benders Better Brother wins a free set for his response to this post...