Friday, 18 January 2008

It's Percy Time....

awh
even storm troopers deserve love....
but not geeks


Percy popped a perfect post of peoples petulant past times my way this morning (try and say that when you have had a skinful of hooch) Percy, as I'm sure you remember, is my chum that works for the BBC's department of moaning and pointless questions, or as it's also known Customer Services.

Percy has primarily been dealing with the Beeb's new iPlayer service. I do wish people would stop putting an "i" in front of stuff to make it sound modern and sexy. It takes away from my modern and sexy iMac. Lazy iCunts the lot of them. The iPlayer is the BBC service that allows the license payer, and those who can still get away with not paying it, to "catch up with the programmes you've missed during the last 7 days - or want to watch again - by downloading them to your computer." It's all quite obvious really. But obviously some people struggle with new stuff and that's fine, they get the help they need.

It appears Mac users are amongst the biggest pains in the arse that Percy has to deal with. The iPlayer does not currently support Mac and this has the Steve Jobs Army really rather hot under their black polo neck collars. One threatened to write to his MP such was his annoyance at not being able to use this service. Use a fucking video geek boy! I swear I couldn't do Percy's job. But it isn't the iPlayer that has caused Percy the most amusement/hassle this week, oh no it's been something much more fun than that....

Torchwood is a BBC show written by Russell T Davies. That would be the same Russell T Davies who created the ground breaking Queer as Folk TV show for Channel 4. If I was a raging homophobic I would take that as being a slight hint of what I could expect. Torchwood (an anagram of Doctor Who) is a show about investigators solving human and alien crime. And is aimed at adults.

There is nothing that gets Middle England, and Mid-Ulster for that matter, more upset than a gay kiss on prime time TV. Especially when it comes in the middle of a Science Fiction show, a genre not known for it's gay characters, C3PO aside. The message being that inter species love seems to be okay, just not same sex. So when you upset both the god botherers and the geeks you can expect your phone lines, email systems, and letter boxes to take a bit of a hit. And what a hit it was. Percy sent me a copy of this email, it's a copy n paste job so it is just as he received it....


removed
due to a case of shitting one's self.....

Eh? What? Do people actually believe this shit? How do you even begin to reply to that? Just imagine coming into work to have to face bile like that! Laugh, cry, or go mental.....I'm not sure what I'd do first. There has been quite a bit of this nonsense since the episode aired on Wednesday night. But yet still no complaints about that utter toad Jeremy Clarkson....the mind boggles.....

Oh I suppose you all want to see what the fuss was all about... Clicky

All complaints to Percy...hehehehehe

Also, there is a special WellDoneFillet badge set for the best letter of response to this cretinous email....

Last chance to nominate your favourites for the Irish Blog Awards......nominations close at 9pm Friday

27 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Native Minnow said...

I've got nothin'

Manuel said...

honesty eh......

Niall said...

oh manuel, jealous of jezza.. granted not always right but fairly accurate most of the time. tut tut. as for torchwood i totally disagree with the show beacuse its shit not gay. these people who watch doctor who with their middle class sensibilities and love of writing letters make me laugh. did they not watch dr who in the 70's camp as a row of tents. and for that matter watch kids tv.. full of inuendo. its hilarious!

Manuel said...

Niall: I couldn't agree more...terrible show.....

Medbh said...

If only those viewers would direct the same level of ire at their politicians where it might improve the public good.
Wanker.

MJ said...

I'll be making up an iWaiter badge for you.

red said...

Hopefully the next homosexual scene on the show will work yer man up into such a state that he'll give himself a heartattack and just die.

nursemyra said...

he should pull the missing apostrophes out of his arse and go back to spelling school

then I MIGHT be prepared to loosen the ligatures around his haemorroids and type up a reply.

Rosie said...

lay off Clarkson, Manuel. he's a fine figure of a man.

ellie said...

Clarkson is the man who should have been the father of my children!

Manuel said...

Clarkson's a mook.......end of story

Rosie said...

According to PBS Frontline documentary, The Merchants Of Cool, Mook is a marketing classification for an American male "Characterized mainly by his infantile, boorish behavior, the "mook" is a perpetual adolescent: crude, misogynistic--and very, very, angry."

nice new word for me, Manuel, thank you! i'd thank you not to use it to describe my Jeremy though.

ellie said...

"whilst it would seem to be fashionable to slag off Clarkson , IT IS NOT IN MY HOUSE !!!!! And before you start , dont come those clever words to justify yourselves with me. It is not acceptable for waiters to get thier kicks by attemting to shock readers with anti Clarkson propoganda. but i will NOT accept thier anti Clarkson secret society "Tonights installment of WellDon Fillet was entirely wrapped around this message. You know it as well as i , and it is NOT acceptable."

bendersbetterbrother said...

I'd much prefer to watch Clarkson than gay kissing. If you took a poll of BBC watchers you'd find I'm in the majority by a country mile. I don't think I'll be writing to Percy though.

p.s. for Percy's protection I think you should take the text of that letter down, it could be traced back to him in a second and he'd be dumped out on the street by lunchtime and asking Romanians which size of Starbucks cups are best and where they hire the babies in swaddling clothes from by the afternoon. Not only that, if I wrote a complaint to the BBC and then had it aired on t'interweb, not Wogan's Right to Reply or whatever it's called, I'd REALLY kick off.

sheepworrier said...

The most eloquent reply I can muster is "f*ck off, you ignorant c*nt".

I'm not feeling very clever today.

Caro said...

God, the urge to whip out a red pen and scribble all over the screen is practically uncontrollable. It's tough being an ex-teacher.

If u cant spel and your iliterate dont write fuckin letrs ,alrite?

JESUS!

yoyo said...

My response to a twatish letter like that where someone was obviously using big words to sound smrat and probably sitting at their computer making angry faces as they pounded at the keyboard would be

"Dear sir.
TL,DR. LOL."

upset waitress said...

I'm with Minnow on this one. I'm American, what can I say.

Mudflapgypsy said...

Ya don't like it don't watch it.

Simple.

I got iplayer workin' on my mac, not their downloadable thingy but a flash app. Works fine.

Clarkson is, indeed, a mook.

dave said...

I want a badge for nominating you in the blog awards.

sheepworrier said...

I want a badger for nominating you in the blog awards. Or any small mammal will do.

Nick said...

And all that venom is the result of (wait for it) a gay kiss? The man is seriously deranged and needs some long-term therapy. That is, if any therapist could stand the stress of such brainless diatribes on a regular basis.

AJ said...

Why the Fuck would any homophobic moron watch Torchwood ?
Everyone that has watched it knows that Cap'n Jack is omnisexual, and the fact that he snogs the face off James Marsters is far from shocking.
I mean come on I'm as straight as the next guy, but I would.

FUCK I hate the BBC, apparrently I'm not allowed use that iplayer thingy cos I'm Irish.
Racists !!!

Private Chef said...

Hi Manuel. I adjusted the balance slightly and adressed your concerns about the poor old waiters going unmentioned in my post today! How long the making of videos to show people the art of service?

Luka said...

I was tempted to write in to complain that the gay kiss between Barrowman and Marsters did not degenerate into full blown naked wrestling for the remainder of the episode and I was subjected to the rest of the storyline instead.

Gypsy said...

Did you remove the email before I had a chance to read it and why are you shitting yourself? WTF is going on here Manuel....and who in blazes is Jeremy Clarkson? There are too many unanswered questions here so I will wander back home where I came from.....

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