The Carnival of very certain Bitterness...

I was sure that blogging in December was going to be tough but beat me with a turkey leg and stuff me with cranberries did I think it was going to be this hard. I am getting too old for this malarkey. I'm starting to think I have maybe a year or two left in it and then I shall have to cut it down a bit, maybe a management role would be nice. Hey I can drink coffee and sit in the office just as well as any college graduate. In many respects I am like a professional footballer, beat out at 35 and looking for a role upstairs.

The weekend was another toughie. And as my mind has been turned to a spongy mush akin to cows in the late 1990's you will have to wait for another wee while for the precise details. But here are a few highlights to keep you damp until I can get it together.....

1. I had a woman tell me that whilst she thought the food was fantastic (the best Christmas meal she had enjoyed in years) and that my service was beyond compare (she even kissed me on the cheek) she believed that £30.00 was far too much to tip anyone and she wouldn't be paying it. She left 5%. I evoked the gods of karma. She had better be in hospital by now....
   
2. There was a "celebrity" table booked, well being that it is Belfast celebrity may be pushing it a bit, that caused a minor security scare and left me feeling let down and bitter. Who could it have been? What could they have done? And why did Manuel feel cheated? I did chuckle to myself when they had gone........all will be revealed tomorrow (ish). There's a Well Done Fillet badge if you can name the errant "celebrity"
   
3. Ever wondered what it's like in Basra? Just pop your head into a kitchen on Black Friday. Hell hath no fury like a head chef who has to make something twice.
4. Oh there's more, so much more. Well maybe no "so much" more, but there is more. Soon.

I was hardly online at all over the last few days. But I did manage to fulfill my RoundTable duties....

There is a youngling amongst us....a newbie....a new ray of light onto the world of hospitality. The Queen of Clean blogs at Feather or Foam and she's from Cork. So it's a bloody good job it's not a podcast then as we wouldn't understand a word she was saying. Here's a charming little story about Japanese tourists and their crazy ways. Welcome Queenie, pour us a drink and stay for a while. Will Work For Tips has been a lazy little blog waiter but did give us this reason why, "Yes, No, Good, Bad, Up, Down, High, Low - Why Restaurants Make Me Manic-Depressive." I feel your pain. Why write 500 words to say that you are pissed off when 42 will do just nicely. I give you Half Server Half Amazing' Letter to Erika Martinez. Ali at El Vermino Boulevard had a sweet day and is happy with life. Ha! Watch that go sour. Why am I so cynical yet still so devilishly handsome? At Least Call Me Miss swears more than me, the fucker. I love this story. Tony Dine at Dine in or take Out has his take on tipping. Don't we all. I find his hard to disagree with. Ribeye from Raging Server definitely wins title of the week for "The Jerry Springer Invite and the Crackhead Brigade." My "hit" of the week was about The Princess falling flat on her face trying to copy my act. Get your own shtick sister. But the best story of the week comes from the irrepressible Dennis at Don't Tip The Waiter. Try this one for size, "Next shift after work party extremely uncomfortable." Bloody genius. Saying that if you haven't read this one you really should.....I'm not sure if we are doing post of the week, but Dennis gets my vote, only cause I cant vote for myself.......


Get em read folks........

I'm writing this post on my new I Mac. God bless the dining public and God bless service charges. Three cheers for service charges.......what d'ya mean you don't like em.....mwahahahah

If you are going to fight Donald Trump....

.......don't bloody well go to bed early! You will of course remember the story of the chap who may have been Old Knudsen's brother who refused to sell his land to Donald Trump. You should remember it but if you don't here it is again...

"This is a tremendous story from Scotland. Donald "Check my hair out" Trump wants to build a couple of golf courses, hotels, and fancy resorts in Aberdeenshire. But a fisherman who own a very large lump of land in the middle of the proposed development has said "Nae a fucking chance laddy." He has to be Old Knudsen's brother...

Read the story here. Fair play to the old get. Tell Trumper to get back on a plane and feck off."

Michael Forbes decided not to bother his lazy ass going to the council meeting last night that would decide the future of his farm and surrounding area. He decided to "go to bed early." What the fuck? Is this guy for real? He is clearly as mad as a bag of badgers! Of course the council voted to give the project the go ahead. It's hard to feel sympathy for a guy that cant stay awake past 7 in the evening to fight his case. Trump meanwhile has been telling everyone that he is actually Scottish. That doesn't make it any better. Just have a look at the beautiful land and scenery that he is going to destroy. What a carnivorous bastard. It's depressing and sickening. The area will be covered in ghastly hotels, resorts, golf courses, Range Rovers, and Pringle bloody Jumpers. But hey what do I care I don't live there, unlike Mr Forbes, the sleepy twat.

Mr Michael Forbes....awake
clearly madder than a bag of badgers

I used to write every other day then it went up to every day, now it's twice or three times a day. Good grief that cant continue. In other news Don't Tip The Waiter is my new favourite service related blog. Check it out. The guy is funny very very funny.....