Waiter cannot live on baps alone...(and roundtable)

I'm pooped

I'm knackered

Busted even

I'd like a little sleep

I'd like a whole lot of sleep....

....and food, really nice food.

It's ironic really considering that I work in a restaurant but I've been living off Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and Belfast baps for about a week now.

But my eight night stretch is finally over.

So now I'm gonna eat, maybe in alphabetical order, A is for a Ribeye, B is for Bloody Ribeye, C is for Crunchy Nut Cornflakes whilst I'm waiting for the ribeye to cook.....

Well you see were I'm going with thisit's a bit over cooked
but mmmmmmmmmm

I intend to eat and sleep like a three month old child, that's to say eat then sleep for about four hours then eat and so on. I'm gonna do that for about, well, um, about 24 hours.
Amuse yourselves....

Here's week 18 of the Roundtable

Raging Server has been on the night shift express as well. Ah he's just so happy about life isn't he? Waiters get your little knives and meet me round the back, El Vermino Boulevard has been robbed, lets kick ass. Or maybe just scare them a bit! Clusterfucked is my new favourite word and I intend to use it at least 50 times over the next 24 hours. Where did I get it? Over at Missies. Quality. Now for something a little more civilised, Restaurant Gal. Or maybe not. She is, the punters aren't. Well we knew that didn't we? Didn't we? Waiter has been evoking not only waiter karma but the taxman karma too. Oh that's gotta hurt......

Is the beef local? Are the vegetables in season? Is the wine from Europe? Is the fish fresh? Shut the fuck up and eat. Ah don't ya just love Upset Waitress?! Tony at Dine in or Take out is reinventing himself or something. Must have something to hide. And then there is me, I'm a whinging so and so. But what would you do when kids are stealing your cash, Swiss people are mocking your accent and the robots are trying to take your job? Fuck em, that's what but even when you think things cant get any stranger some muppet books their Christmas party.

If anybody needs me I'll be sleeping beside the fridge.......

I didn't wash today, I may not wash tomorrow either

The greatest thing, well one of the great things, with being off this week is that I don't have to shave, wash, or in any way have to give a hairy monkeys bottom about how I look or even smell.

Ah the freedom!

I need not worry about the sock police, the fingernail inspectors, or any of the
comandantes of (personal) cleanliness.

Instead I get to sit here in my own filth with a beard like Gandalf and watch my fingers turn a lovely golden brown. It's very satisfying.

I only changed my shirt today because I got a whole load of last nights dinner down it. But I'm wearing this one tomorrow and maybe the day after too.

I did an interview for the BBC today, for their food magazine OLIVE. I didn't wash my face, I didn't brush my teeth, hell I didn't even get dressed. Thankfully for the good people at the BBC it was over the phone. My little feature thingy will be in June's edition, I'll probably remind you when it comes out.

If I remember. (Pfft you'll be getting commemorative badges done no doubt-LMM)

I was also contacted about doing a radio interview yesterday for the BBC. But I'm not so sure. The overlords pass the time of day with the radio on. They wouldn't take kindly to me airing my opinions over the airwaves. But still nice to be asked. I haven't said no, I'm ruminating (whilst stroking my beard)

*********

I haven't served a table in anger since last Thursday, thankfully this lot have been busy, this weeks Blog Carnival, THE ROUNDTABLE....

1. Raging Server - No?
   
2. Upset Waitress - Spitball
   
3. Dine in or Take Out - Educate
4. Bitter Waitress - Hostess
   
5. Red Lobster Blog - Math(s)
   
6. I Serve Idiots - Idiot (but bwahahahahaha)
7. At Least Call Me Miss - Shirley
8. El Vermino Boulevard - Popped
9. Restaurant Gal - Funday
10. Well Done Fillet - Leunam

*******

And one more link, from Elemental Soup "An orange affair"

I am waiter, hear me roar!

I'm not the only waiter in the world, despite what I may have you believe. And lots of them have blogs, here are the best of them from this weeks

Service Related Blog Carnival,
the Roundtable...
no arsed bastard....

Where to start.....Ryan from I Serve Idiots has been blogging on and off for quite a while now and has joined our happy little blog carnival. To Ryan and Idiot is an idiot, black, white, redneck or whatever. Now why cant everybody be so open minded.

Sometime waiter and full time crazy, Upset Waitress, is never one to let a good double entendre get in the way of a good read. She has been having wiener trouble, little wieners.

Customers are odd creatures, seriously they say the oddest things. Just ask Tony about his Creme brulee man.

At Least Call Me "Miss" has turned all wise and even though this is the shortest post ever, it is the most accurate.

Over at El Vermino Boulevard they have been watch some "classic" movies. Crikey....is Cat Ballou a classic? I dunno!

People never believe me when I tell them that St. Valentines day is a waste of time for waiters. Ask Lobster boy if you still don't believe me.

Ireland's own Queenie has been dealing with dogs and guests. Ha she deserves it! Only joking! Hehehehehe

The world's angriest server, Ribeye, has a new manager to contend with. Let me tell you I feel his pain. Honestly they always need broken, like horses. Maybe Ribeye can be like a horse whisperer but for new managers.....maybe!

As for me?

Fuck it you have read all my whinging haven't you?

But I was sent this by Mr DNA

from boingboing

Viva la Waiters!

Viva La Manuel!

What's in a name?

does this make me a knight?
sir moans-a-lot....

Waiters eh, if we aren't spilling soup on you or forgetting to tell the chef that you are allergic to nuts we are writing about you. The internet is chock full of waiter and service industry related blogs. Some are just fucking awful I mean really really turgid whiny stuff, "...and they only left me $45.00 and my feet hurt and the chef swore at me..." and so on. Grow a set and get the fuck over yourself. But for every insecure, whiny tray jockey there are lots of great waiter blogs out there.

Ribeye from Raging Server has set up a weekly blog carnival feature called The Roundtable. It's aim is to highlight the best stories from the food & drink service related blogs out there. Raging Server is hosting the RoundTable this week with it switching to WellDoneFillet next week. So if you come across any great server related blog stories send them my way. I'll be posting the next set of stories on Sunday night/ Monday morning. There is a link at the top of the page to all the RoundTable posts so have a look and maybe you'll find some more blogs that interest you. And more importantly maybe you'll learn to love the waiters in your life a little more. Maybe you'll learn to treat them a little nicer. Hey maybe you'll learn to tip better, and that's what I'm really all about. I'm the Bob Geldof of the waiting wold, "Gimme your fucking money..."

Oh and whilst we are at it, as you all know my blog is called Well Done Fillet......that's well done FILLET, pronounced FIL-LET not FIL-LAY. Now I know this will be difficult for you Americans out there but you really must try. Over here we pronounce it FIL-LET and you pronounce it FIL-LAY, but when you are in my house you will use the former. And another thing the superbly ugly fish Turbot is pronounced TUR-BIT not TUR-BO. Stop it, it really annoys me. Good grief even the French pronounce it TUR-BIT. Don't even get me started on risotto (it's OT-TO not OH-TO). And one final thing for my Spanish speaking friends, stop sending me emails in Spanish asking me if I come from Spain/Mexico/Puerto Rico. I'm not. I'm from Belfast, we don't even have a decent Mexican restaurant anymore. For those of you who don't know I took my name Manuel from the much put upon waiter Manuel from the BBC TV show Fawlty Towers. In reality I am much more like Basil.

I hope that clears a few things up........

Oh and help make Gimme's Christmas dream come true and get Tom Waits to number 1.....do it!