Friday, 10 April 2009

And that's why we don't have a table 13....

Two waiters are clearing up at the end of the night.

"So what ya have?"

"Table of thirteen."

"Thirteen? Sweet."

"Nah not really...bit dull to be honest."

"Work party?"

"Leaving do, I think? The big fella in the middle with the hair...he was doing all the talking. Yammer yammer yammer all night long about what he wants done when he's away."

"Ooooh get him."

"Yeah and he was chuffing about with the food too."

"Eh?"

"Yeah messing about with it. I was all like are you gonna eat that or play with it dude?"

"What's that all about?"

"I KNOW!"

"Thirteen though, you must have made money"

"Money? You joking? Sake. They only ordered bread. Freaking bread man!"

"Bread? Just bread? Tough break man. Bet they had water with it."

"Aye you'd think so. No, they had wine. Money for wine but not for proper food. Mooks."

"Seriously?"

"For reals."

Waiters - been getting stiffed for centuries.*


image from worth1000.com

*even in made up stories....

And that's also why most restaurants don't have a table thirteen or ever set a table for thirteen - fear of getting stiffed.

24 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Sniffle&Cry said...

Hah....... first. But the pieces of silver, 12 or 13 I think, surely 1.2 or 1.3 for a service charge, OR did the management fuck up again with the bill ?

Manuel said...

sniffle: almost no question they fooked it up.....sake.....ha!

Sniffle&Cry said...

That's organised religion for you, *pah* . BTW, excellence all around here, all the time.

Manuel said...

sniffle: ah dude.....cheers

Medbh said...

Love it.
But there was wine, right?

Manuel said...

medbh: so they say...!

sugarpie said...

Im surprised they didn't ask for water and then just make the wine themselves. What? That guy with all the coin just wanted a take away menu? Figures...

Belfast Barista said...

Yeah but they were so cheap they just shared the one glass of wine.

Manuel said...

sugarpie: ha! yes and lemonade with their own lemons.....

belfast barista: and an ice cream too.....

MJ said...

I have fear of Old Knudsen getting stiff.

He is, after all, the Lord of the painful 4-hour erection.

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I am not superstitious but can't say I remember setting a table for 13 lately.

Rob said...

Manuel: I read often, but comment little. But for this, I must de-cloak and say, "Great post, man, great post!"

Happy Easter to ye.

daisyfae said...

i thought he offered his body to be eaten... didn't they get busted on a morals charge? one way to get out of paying the bill....

Queen of Denial said...

Jesus notices a Curley's bag full of Carlsberg under the table and asks St Paul what it is. 'Don't worry mate' says Paul 'Thats just Judas's carry-out'

My one and only Easter joke. :)

Manuel said...

mj: ooooh what a frightening thought....knudsen looming over you with his pulsing wand......I'm gonna do a sick...

steve: we always set a fourteen never a thirteen....

rob: cheers rob!no ore lurking....you're out now....

daisy: bwahahahaha

queenie: boom boom.....

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

Har-de-har, that's ace. Happy Easter Eggs!

savannah said...

seriously? y'all aren't kidding? never? ever? who knew? xoxoxo

Killer said...

Was it a table of thirteen chavs???

Dave said...

Why not a table of thirteen?
Thirteen is my lucky number!

Boxer said...

I learn so much here. And your posts are great too.

Native Minnow said...

You're probably right. But hey, at least the waiters didn't have to wash everyone's feet at the table. The guy in charge took care of that, no?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Heh, brilliant.

Leaving do. Love it.

Sherry QuiteContrary said...

I had a table of 13 tonight. Bill was $120.00. Tip? A whopping $8.00. ): Arseholes. Arseholes I tell you.

Think I can refuse a party of 13 again based on this blog? ;)

toast said...

thats great that - enjoyed that a lot