Democracy eh......

Democracy sucks balls. No, seriously it really does? Sammy Wilson is testament to this fact. Okay well maybe democracy doesn't suck balls in the larger sense. I suppose if you have a large country to be running democracy is a swell way to do it. Power to the people and all that. But online restaurant reviews definitely do suck scrotal sack. Again, this requires qualification. Reviews carried out by professional eaters/reviewers (a job I yearn for, obviously) who know what they are yammering on about and have the ability to construct it into a coherent sentence and not only have spellchecker but know how to use it, they are okay. Well for the most part they are okay. Some are just smug self satisfied cunts.

But some online review sites make me want to gouge eyes out, not my own obviously as they are beautifully blue and I need them to see stuff, but I would certainly like to attack the peep holes of a lot of the contributors to these sites. Oh man do they make me want to do a sick in my mouth. I came across one the other day for one of my more favourite Belfast restaurants that left me seething. I seethed for hours after, seethed I tells ye. It put me right off my post work cup of tea. Well nearly.

The contributor/idiot was all a tizzy because the restaurant they dined in didn't serve a full range of meat dishes. Now one quick glance on their website would have confirmed this. But instead we ned up with little nugget of delightfulness/helpfulness....

"I have to say I was very dissappointed to find no chicken or beef on the menu mainly fish and vegetarian dishes. I do like fish but this night I really would have liked a steak."

Really? You wanted steak eh? I dunno maybe you could have gone to a steak house or maybe like just about any other restaurant in Belfast. Just saying. Bleurgh.

Still it's heart warming to see others have decided not to go down the eye gouging route, although I still consider it as a viable option, and have instead embarked on a much more satisfying way of getting back at the online numpties who contribute to review sites.

From Boing Boing...

Pizza joint gives staff t-shirts with the text of 1-star Yelp reviews.

At San Francisco's Pizzeria Delfina, they know how to own their pain. Rather than wringing their hands over Internet sourpusses who give them one-star Yelp ratings, they've printed up tees with excerpts from the most scathing reviews ("This place sucks") and given them to the staff to wear. Instead of simply bitching about Yelp, they've made Yelp their bitch and taken quotes from one-star reviews posted on Yelp about the pizzeria and made them into T-shirts for their staff to wear. (They also have one that simply says, "This place sucks," a quote from yet another typically eloquent and insightful Yelp review.)

Ha! Quality. Still, I hold a spoon for eye gouging in reserve.......

Feel free to leave your comments below, I value your comments and would never eye gouge any of you, well most of you. Also and with remarkable timing I shall be posting a review of my own later this week of Belfast's latest eaterie, The Barking Dog. All puns regarding the vegetables having, "bite" and that whole area will be avoided. Maybe......