Friday, 3 October 2008

I see dead people......and gulible people too.

I had just cleared the plates from a reluctant table of two. I say reluctant but it was mainly him, in fact it was all him. He didn't want to be there and made no effort to conceal his feelings. He grumped, huffed, pouted and generally got on like a well slapped arse. And why, I hear you ask, was he so unhappy with life? It wasn't life that had him unhappy it was death. For a "treat" his darling wife had purchased tickets for them both to go to a medium. Well you can understand his consternation.

I see dead people....
can I have £25.00 please?


His charming wife seemed oblivious to his moaning and groaning, either that or he's just like that all the time which was distinctly possible given his gruff and brusque demeanor. Got to be said though I'd not be so pleased if I had to spend an evening listening to a bunch of hokery pokery. And as Mr Happy put it, "Fifty fucking quid to hear that yer dead ma wants you to be happy. Gimme a pissing break!"

My sentiments entirely. I mean it's nonsense isn't it? And if the dead could speak from beyond the grave why would they choose some half assed hippy type with a name like Sheila or John Edward through which to channel their unfinished business? And why does it always cost £25? Like what are the running expenses involved in being a medium? Are the dead demanding a cut? Arse, I say arse to the lot of it. Arse and shenanigans! I don't believe in any of it, mediums, psychics, fortunetellers, accountants, it's all just phooey.

Thankfully he said that when his wife was in the bathroom. I concurred but not too strongly lest he decide to drag me into his fight. I mean nothing was going to stop or dissuade his wife from going. He told me that her mother had died a few months back and she was still coming to terms with it. He, like any rational person, wasn't convinced that a medium was the best way to find "closure". But what can you do? Her grief was strong and stronger still was her belief that the medium would help her.

EEK!

Tears before bedtime if you ask me.

As they left I bade them a fond farewell. But as his wife exited the door he popped back to say,

"Going to talk to her dead ma! Jesus H Christ! For fuck sake I didn't talk to her when she was alive."

Oh yes tears before bedtime for sure.......

22 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Hee.
Who wants to have apron strings beyond the grave? Will she complain bitterly about not getting a decent cup of tea in the great beyond?

Nice work if you can get it for those psychics.

Manuel said...

medbh: Fucking great work if you have the effrontery to ull it off every night.....

Silverstar said...

The dead don't want to hear from you. They raised you, now they're done. If they wanted to talk to you, they would appear at the foot of your bed. Anyway, they always did for me.

savannah said...

poor woman! grief can really mess with you. but i doa gree with you re: the psychic flummery! ;) xoxo

savannah said...

do agree jaysus, you'd think i've been listening to gov. palin for 90 minutes! oh, wait, shit, i did! ;)
ya betcha!

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

You have some wild people eating in that restaurant of yours.

MJ said...

I have no idea whether or not the dead can hear me from beyond the grave but that doesn't stop me from yammering on and on at them.

At least they have the choice to walk away now unlike when they were alive and had to sit there politely.

Simon said...

I agree totally, its all a load of toss.

redleeroy said...

it is said load of toss, but I wouldn't mind 25 quid for a few minutes of ham acting. I am going to get into this racket.

sheepworrier said...

All the religious mumbo-jumbo freaks me out enough without dead people lurking in my bathroom watching me poo. Oh yes, dead people have fetishes too.

Red hair, Red face said...

Sad that that woman needs to hear from some "cowboy" that her mother is happy beyond the grave....

Manuel said...

silverstar: 100% correct....

savannah: do you? don't you? I confused..
oh wait.....hehehehe

steve: yes, yes we do.....it's a challenge everyday...

mj: I'd say you can do some yammering.....

simon: sensible child.....

redleeroy: I'll be your agent!

sheepo: thanks for that.......I wont be able to shit in peace from now on.....

red hair red face: it's tragic and they are playing with peoples emotions.....

Trekkie said...

It's the biggest load of pish and nonsense ever. I went with a bunch of workmates a while back.....she had to ask one of them if her Dad was still alive. I mean, shouldn't she KNOW?????

Melissa said...

I'm psychic.

"I see that Manuel will write in his blog in the future."

Wait and see if I'm full of shit or not.

fatmammycat said...

%%%2&&@22!!!!****Son of c****** wank****Psychics!!

Sweetchuck said...

A good ponit well made Manuel, though don't go lumping accountants in that bracket, they only deal in facts and aren't big fans of the unknown or surprises.

B said...

hahaha, I didn't even know those people were real(as in exist outside america).

does the H stand for Holy?

daisyfae said...

my oldest sister was freaked out for months after my dad died... everyone kept telling her that "he can hear you... he's watching over you" to comfort her... so she only got dressed and showered in the dark. did i mention that this was a 50 year old woman?

if i were dead and could talk to people, i'd fuck with them really hard... like shoulder tapping, screaming randomly, and saying unexpected names out loud while people were having sex to get them in trouble. So many more fun things to do than talk to a goofy-ass medium...

harried_dad said...

More importantly if I could talk to dead people I would make a mint at playing poker, they could have a look and tell you whos got what.

If you really want platitudes and generalisations for 25 quid, then go speak to my auntie Katie. She will see you straight with some homely advice (put some dried mint in your sock drawer) as well as saying something nice about you ( you have lovely hands).

Admittedly she is pretty much blind and deaf, so she kind of lives in her own world, but then so do the psychics.....

witchypoo said...

I'm feeling rather insulted by this, but wonder how many have actually gone to a psychic?

eguinan said...

Well, if anyone wants to give me 25 quid, I'll cleanse your angels' auras for you with my amazing crystals.

fgeegf said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,