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Tuesday 19 August 2008

Hic....

My boss, The Glorious Leader, seems to think it's okay to get his waiters half tanked and then send them out to work. I think he is recording us for one of those funniest home video type shite programmes. Either that or he has badly estimated our capacity to take large amounts of wine in quick succession. We had had wine tasting before shift this afternoon. I cant cope. Don't get me wrong your worst day tasting wine is still marginally better than your best day waiting tables but still it's tougher than you'd think.

Will anybody fall for that? Is there any sympathy?

Now I know that you aren't meant to guzzle it like you have just completed a marathon, but when someone hands you a very expensive bottle of red you tend to get a bit greedy. I wasn't sure as to it's qualities so I just had to reach for another snifter. One has to be sure. Ahem, I'm all about the customer satisfaction you know.

I knew I had over done it when I couldn't complete a fairly straight forward sentence, "Mmmmmm hints of plumps and snoranges and maybe......what? What you laughing at?" I was going for plums and oranges apparently. Still I was as sober as Moses in comparison to our Young Clark Kent. He was talking like a washing machine after 25 minutes. And he was loud too. The boss was trying to give us the back story to each of the wines - the wine maker, the terrain, label explanation and what have you when young superman shouted,

"JAMMY, IT'S REALLY JAMMY. JAM JAM JAM JAM."

It was indeed quite a jammy wine but he was very vociferous about it, a little too vociferous. The room burst into fits of laughter and all control was lost. It was like a night out by this point, all we need now was some music, a smoking area, and probably a burger or two (or jam sandwich). Calm and decorum was returned when young superman excused himself to go to the bathroom. Booze really is his kryptonite.

I excused myself before the end so I could get the restaurant open for dinner. I also necked two espressos and a pint of water. Didn't really help. I still greeted the first table like long lost friends and had lost the ability to control my volume.

"OH HOW YOU DOING? TABLE FOR TWO IS IT?" I shouted at the rather bemused couple. It was all I could do not to rub my hand down the lady's face and tell her she was my best friend ever.

I do that when I'm drunk.

I regained composure after a a while and then got a headache. By the end of the night I was swearing to all the super best friends, god, allah, buddha, Larry David that I would never ever drink so much during wine tasting again.

Nonsense of course. Roll on January and our next change!

************

For what it's worth the highlights were,

The Woodstock Cabernet Sauvignon 2004. From the moment you open this bottle you know it's a winner, your nose is immediately aware of it's berry and herb like tones. It's dark and rich in colour and a joy to taste. Forget the cheese, snap a bar of good chocolate and settle in for an enjoyable wet summer night.

Pascal Bouchard Chablis. I haven't enjoyed Chablis in years preferring instead the new Rieslings and of course my new discovery Txacloi but this is just superb. It has a wonderful hint of cinnamon and has a mineral like background. I also found an almost creamy taste to it too. Great with seafood. But not jam sandwiches of course, unless you are superman of course.

23 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with getting sozzled on wine whilst on the job, Manuel.
I done it on more than a few occasions in Winemark during a tasting session. Now the day we sampled whiskey in the shop....mmmmm

Makes for an interesting day at work!

Manuel said...

dave: how you doing daveo? Yeah interesting is one way of putting it.....I'm just glad it wasn't busy....

Anonymous said...

Maybe next time the glorious leader will let you sample some coke, hash and E's, then let you loose to serve people.
Jeezus, I'd pay just to sit and watch that!

savannah said...

how exciting, sugar! the wines, not the getting soused befor your shift *snickering* anyway...the MITM is going to a wine tasting tomorrow, so we'll se what he has to report..(i just asked him to do a guest blog spot!!!!!) anyway, we've been tasting a lovely syrah and i'm on meds, so wtf am i saying? xoxoxo

Manuel said...

dave: oh god fuck hell no.....no no no no no

savannah: what's your favourite right now?

savannah said...

niner a syrah really lovely, not at all spicy - we just finihed a bottle xoxo

Manuel said...

savannah: looks delish.....

Megan McGurk said...

The cabernet sounds lovely, Manuel. I hope you had some food to at least soak up a bit of the wine. When I drink it on an empty stomach, I am a goner.

savannah said...

it was! we've been really enjoying california wines lately

Manuel said...

medbh: I forgot that I had wine tasting before I went to work...I had a ham sandwich.....not enough really...the woodstock is just beautiful, the aroma is amazing.....

savannah: how lucky you are......

Anonymous said...

You should have just kept going the whole evening :-)

Anonymous said...

Paid to sit and drink ridiculously expensive wines? How horrible for you.

An t-Ubh Feargach said...

Is it wrong to quite fancy a glass of wine at 11 in the morning? That cabernet sounds gorgeous and I'm within stumbling distance of an off licence. Could defo pass it off as ribena. Hmmm.

Manuel said...

conortje: oh hell no.....I really couldn't cope as it was....

sheepo: some days are tougher than others...."is there no end to this hell? Pass me the shiraz..."

lorrainbow: stay strong...well until lunchtime

Lottie said...

Spit. Don't swallow!

I need to get myself one of those jobs.

Manuel said...

lottie: that's just so rude.......you'll fit in well around here......

Anonymous said...

Have you ever gone to work stoned or on something a bit stronger? Really makes for a fun fun day

T cup said...

brilliant story so funny!! i go beer tasting quite regularly of a friday evening. i find miller explodes with taste when it enters your pallet (it explodes the next day too)

Manuel said...

boy_wonder: Listen I can just about get through a shift when sober let alone with anything else in my system

t dog: miller? crikey.....I'd rather have some of boy wonders funny gear...

Colleen said...

Ha, thanks I burst out laughing at the drunk superman and had to explain to coworkers that I'm doing "research." Don't think they fell for it, might have to open up some wine when I get home.

Jenny said...

Heyyyyy, where's my comment? It was all pithy, etc., going on about California and Washington wines. Bah!

But, it did make me pour a glass of wine last night, so thanks!

B said...

are people that go to restaurants willing to buy wine that isn't 1000 years old?

Manuel said...

C.watson: welcome! oh superman was well pissed....poor fella....

boxer: eh? blogger eating comments again....the bastard...

b: hell yes, some buy wine because of it;s price, some because of it's strength, some even listen to me......