Friday, 27 June 2008

If you ask for shit on a stick then expect shit on a stick....

Be careful what you ask for.....no seriously. If it's not wise to poke a sleeping dog with a stick then it's not wise to beg the gods to send you lots and lots of teachers. Not just any old teachers but teachers that are as giddy as it gets on their last day of work before their two month holidays.

Lordy it was a tough day!teacher with drink orders
he's thinking about the Bacardi Breezers
awh look at his little face

If you ask for the world to fall on your head just so that you have some golden blog fodder then you have no one else to blame when the world duly delivers. I was awoken at about ten o'clock by the sound of my mobile phone. I sat upright considering for a moment what they hell the noise was. It sounded familiar but it didn't register straight away.

Da da da da da da da da da da daaaa

Da da da da da da da da da da daaaa

(It's never been changed from the factory settings)

Shit, it's my phone, I thought. Someone had better be dead, or at the very least nearly. Why else is someone trying to wake me from my slumber. I lifted it and through crusty eyes I could see, "NUMBER WITHHELD."

Number withheld eh. Normally I just ignore those and let the answering service pick it up. But for some reason, still unknown to me, I answered it.

"Manuel?"

"Ugh"

"Manuel?"

"Ugh, eh, um, er yeah, yeah it's me. Eh who's that?"

"It's work."

Fucking magic moments.

"There is another 18 booked at twelve, we need you to come in."

"Arse biscuits. Right. I'll be in before twelve then."

"Cheers fella"

I love our little chats.

I wasn't due in until 2 so this was devastating. Devastating I hear you ask? Oh yes, I had nothing in for breakfast and didn't fancy working without some. I'm traditional like that. Then I remembered what I had written a few hours previous. This was not an auspicious start. I trembled as I shaved, hence the cut.

The day was indeed a super mental one. But more of that to come. But I did laugh out loud when I was conversing with two women that I had served last week. They were telling me they were heading to see Kylie and that they had been to see The Police last Friday and Billy Connolly before that.

"That's a lot of money!" I commented

"Hell yeah." Said one.

"Still it's cheaper than buying heating oil." Said the other.

I laughed but it's probably true.

More teachers tomorrow, and French tourists. The very epitome of the axis of restaurant evil...

Ho hum, what is a boy to do?!

17 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

belfast plate carrier said...

I can sympathise. I have 50 (count 'em) teachers due in tommorrow lunch

Manuel said...

bpc: wanna swap, I have 30 French Tourists?

Medbh said...

You didn't work another ten hour shift, did you?
Eek.
Hopefully you're squirreling lots of cash away for your own holidays with LMM.
Have you one planned?

Manuel said...

medbh: ten? I wish..12 and a half.....Paris in the fall! Cant wait plus a few days away over the summer....

problemchildbride said...

Bring them an apple?

Paris in the fall sounds brilliant.

*Envy*

Maxi Cane said...

I had a coach load of French Tourists pull up outside my place last week and pile in.
Not one of them spoke English, not even the poxy guide!
57 French tourists and they all wanted separate bills. Have fun.

Manuel said...

sam: hell Paris in the bleak mid winter sounds great, Paris at anytime has to be good.....I brought them no apple, just sarcasm and fake laughter.......

Manuel said...

maxi: set menu, account job, in and out in an hour....wee buns big fella wee buns.....or petit buns as I will no doubt say tomorrow.....

Maxi Cane said...

Any jobs in your place?

Anonymous Boxer said...

"just sarcasm and fake laughter" .. you'd do very well in sales also.

Paris in the Fall - I'd take a table of 20 French Teachers for that.

fatmammycat said...

Thems som might looong hours, my sympathies. I hope you get time and a half for over time.

paddy said...

I have lots of mates who are teachers. The arseholes come out in a sweat if they have to work for 10 weeks straight. Arseholes.

Manuel said...

maxi: nah you wouldn't like it......all that money n stuff....it would change you...

boxer: I'd take them with me!

fmc: good grief I wish.....no such luck...we get all the gruel we want and dilute orange......or blackcurrant...it's a job with benefits!

paddy: It's not fair eh...

sheepworrier said...

Is that the Nokia ringtone that it's now retro-cool to have? I always knew you were a fashionista Manuel. Bet you drink in Vaudeville as well.

B said...

I really had my hopes up for a few weeks of silence then to discover you were in an asylum after serving all the teachers.

Each student has their own individual teacher at this stage by the way.

Blondefabulous said...

I was privy to having my restaurant across the road from a Montissori school. The kids were always well behaved, which made me wonder if the teachers were as well. No such luck. They were awful after that last school bell rang.

Paris, huh? Closest I'll get to that is the one in Vegas.... oh wait. I've already been there!

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