Sunday, 4 May 2008

Tale...

I normally don't trouble with food on a split shift preferring instead the twin delights of cigarettes and coffee. It's not a doctor recommended diet and it does little to energise you for the second part of your shift, normally the busier part too. But it makes me happy and my happiness is paramount.

But on Friday my co-worker and chum with a bun Lucyfer suggested we go for afternoon steaks.
Well who am I to say no to such a spiffing idea.....!?


The steak was great but the tale she told me was even better....

This is what happens when people from Northern Ireland go on holidays. I should say I have no way of verifying the accuracy of this story. I'm telling you it third hand. But the internet is full of tall tales, inaccuracies, and downright porky pies so why shouldn't I add another to it. Not that I'm saying it's not true, I just don't know.

Friends of Lucyfer's parents, a fairly old couple in their 70's, recently remortgaged their house to fund a once in a lifetime trip to the US. They booked into a grand New York hotel and spent their days sightseeing and living the highlife, the way 70 year old' like to do. One day they headed out for more New York fun times when they realised they had left their money in the room. No problem said the spritely lady, "I'll go back and get it."

As she stepped in to the elevator (or lift as we say here but seeing as the story is set in NY...) a group of tall athletic African Americans got into the elevator with her. Now you have to bare in mind that the couple are from a small town in rural Northern Ireland that has few if any tall Athletic African Americans living in it, that is to say none. The lady was taken aback. But when one of the gentlemen said, "Floor" she panicked. And you guessed it she immediately hit the deck pleading that they not hurt her. There she was spread on the floor just like the man had said....

Except he hadn't, the gentlemen had no intention of hurting her they simply wanted to know what floor she was going to. As the poor woman lay on the floor there was an immediate burst of laughter and they helped her up and explained themselves. Poor woman, she was relieved and they laughed it off.

A few days later the couple were due to check out. They headed to the reception to settle their bill only to discover that their bill had been settled. There was a note,

"Thanks for the best laugh I have had in years." Signed ..... ah well that would be telling........

But he was A-List, very A-List.

************

Update at 2.31am

I've been fed a crock of shite.

That'll teach me not to do research.

Oh by fuck revenge will be mine...


Thanks to DinoGirl.

20 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

Ah fuck off, ya' big tease.

Medbh said...

OMG, you could dine out on that story, Manuel.
Was it Jay Z?
He's richer than fuck.
Very classy move.

Manuel said...

bbb: not the first to call me that.....

medbh: It was very classy....not Jay Z....not saying he's not classy......but wasn't him...

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Ha! A tale to tell, for sure. Brilliant! What a nice guy.

But who??? Clue?

Manuel said...

sam: ah but the clue is there...it really is.....

dinogirl said...

Ah, Manuel, she was havin' ya on:

http://www.snopes.com/racial/mistaken/hitfloor.asp

B said...

YES! I was gonna say Michael Jordan as the black man and it's one of the most common variations!

Manuel said...

dinogirl: I'M GONNA GO FUCKING MENTAL!!!!!!!!!!

Manuel said...

I will never trust a waiter again........

savannah said...

but it was a funny story, sugar!

*and now i'll just continue cleaning up the very nice wine i spit out laughing* xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Oh, Manuel! I'm deeply wounded by this, restore my faith ASAP!

Sadhbh said...

Ahah....twas Will Smith when I heard it....

Hard Luck, but very funny story!!

d@\/ e said...

that 'crock of shit' was funny :-)

daisyfae said...

There are worse scams, dear! At least you didn't ship your bank account information to that nice woman who needs help getting her dead husbands millions from a Nigerian bank!

Jessie said...

For what it's worth, stories like these that move around from person to person are how things like the Iliad and the Bible got started. It's pretty cool that so many people have heard of it if you think about it.

Native Minnow said...

I was going to guess someone from the New York Knicks, but they suck so bad I can't remember any of their players' names.

Native Minnow said...

Although, that doesn't really make sense that a Knicks player would be in a hotel if he lives in New York.

Not that it matters anyway after Dinogirl's comment.

Dave said...

Funny story, nice one.

But who is this other 'D@ve' who is posting comments?

There's only room for one Dave in this comment section, pal!

Handbags at the ready!

Manuel said...

savannah: would have been better if it had for real...

anonymous: I don't know how......I'm a broken man..

sadhbh: it was will when I heard it too...

d@Ve: welcome! I stopped laughing pretty quick....

daisyfae: what? you mean that's a scam too?

jessie: welcome! wish I'd bloody heard it.......or rather not....

minnow: Dinogirl is my hero now....

dave: go get him tiger, I'll hold your jacket......

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