Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Miserable little man...


Things I don't like....

Use of the phrase, "going forward." Shut the fuck up with that. It makes me want to push the envelope all over your bloody face

Taxi drivers who give you a running commentary and choices. Offering me 3 different routes home isn't helping. I really don't care, just fucking pick one. Also pointing out other drivers "mistakes", like being in front of you, is just tedious. Knock it the fuck off.

People who fail to share the full details of conferences that they invite me to. You know, little details like how many days the event is running for. I was under the misguided belief that it was a one night stay when in fact it was two. This is something to consider, going forward.

Rain after weeks of sunny weather. It feels like freaking November.

Things I do like...

People who run conferences that dish out bottles of 400th Anniversary Bottles of Bushmills Whiskey. Nice work fella. Ebay? I think so.

People who fail to share the full details of conferences that they invite me to. You know, little details like how many days the event is running for. Thus getting me out of having to go to a freaking beach, in the rain, for a team building exercise. Can you imagine the horror?

My house. My bed. My sausage rolls. My mac. My ass groove.

It's good to be home.....

23 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Blondefabulous said...

"Moving On" tends to make me want to go all psycho bitch on people when they use it. If I had wanted to move on, I would, but I don't so STFU!

Glad you're back. Enjoy that ass groove!

Blondefabulous said...

Oh, and I don't know about rain, but if we could get a few less tornadoes here, I'd be eternally grateful.

http://www.kcci.com/news/16391215/detail.html

K8 the Gr8 said...

Advice taken re. offering route choices! I get so many punters accusing me of going the long way round (to dodge traffic) so that I can charge them more, even though it's a fixed price! Grrr.

I've never done the 'bitching about other people's driving' before because I know what a pain in the ass that is to listen to.

Have you ever heard of 'Bullshit Bingo'? You write out all the terms like 'Think outside the box', 'Win-Win' and 'Moving On' in a grid and cross them off as the speaker uses them. First to complete a line gets to jump up and scream BULLSHIT!!!

Manuel said...

blondie: yeah.....those tornadoes are stinking! perspective n all that.....

k8: bullshit bingo! hahahahahaha brilliant. Saying that I had a few "words" of my own...

savannah said...

yippie, sugar...you're back, you got some really good booze, you only lost 1 day and thanks to k8 the gr8, we all have a new conference game to play! h'mmm, i have an awards luncheon to go to tomorrow, wonder if we can the game at our table? xoxo

Manuel said...

savannah: oh please do it....sounds like a right laugh...

INNER VOICES said...

im not sure i wanna know what an ass groove is all about...

*shudders and has visions of mjs last several posts*

gimme a minute said...

Good to have you back. Did you do much brainstorming?

People who say 'brainstorming' need their brains stormed. Or punched.

Did you do much brain punching?

Manuel said...

voices: metaphorical ass groove I should have said.....

gimme: brainstorming, workshops, presentations, team building,all alien bullshit to me.....

MJ said...

Think outside the box.

*subject to misinterpretation by Inner Voices*

Native Minnow said...

Don't try to act like you're not sad to have missed the "team building exercise" on the beach in the rain.

Medbh said...

Even worse is that dreaded managerial phrase "there is no 'I' in team."
Bleurgh.

BK said...

Sounds like an arse pain. Welcome back. Did your talk go over well?

sheepworrier said...

Was there any 'blue-sky thinking' involved? Did you 'maximise your potential'? Fuck I hate managerial speak...

Can I have a sausage roll please?

Manuel said...

mj: don't......it's not worth it....

minnow: I'm gutted.......don't want to talk about it.....

medbh: and the just as cliched "but there is in genius"

bk: Yeah I think so.......some of the other discussions caused a touch of waiter rage all the same.....more later

sheepo: no.......they're mine......bad sheepo.....

Mudflapgypsy said...

So, what is your forward plan?
Have you got all your ducks in a row?
Did you bluesky it and catchball with the rest of the team?

Learn to speak bollocks just call 08oo-555-555-555

Conan Drumm said...

Ah, so you experienced some temporality issues in El Paso. (South of the border, down Mexico way...) You should've expected that!

Now, where's that rare Bushmills at?

Manuel said...

muddy: I'm a waiter......talking bollocks comes easy....!

conan: you talk money........I'll get it wrapped....

jen said...

Hey, we need to pro-actively leverage our synergies into some blue sky thinking, encourage healthy dialogue and step up to the plate to downsize the...

Nope, can't keep that up. But in my job I'm surrounded by that kind of crap all day and it drives me up the bloody walls. Current favourite = 'I'm reaching out to you for X, Y or Z.' Noooooooooo! It's just a bit creepy.

Crispy said...

Things I don't like....the fact that the BBC gave air time to the Weakest Link featuring 9 of the dumbest pieces of work I have ever laid eyes on. I think they were WAGS, but sweet holy Mary, mother of God, were they thick beyond belief. Manuel I do not suffer fools easily!

Anonymous said...

I've started a one woman campaign to eliminate 'going forwards'- I loathe it so. However, seeing as my two jobs encompass local government and political lobbying, I could be fighting a loosing battle. Whatever happened to 'in future'? Great blog by the way- found it from your comment on Hari's tipping piece.

Manuel said...

anonymous: cheers for that.......!

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