Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Obsessing...

I'm going mental.

I know this is off topic and all that and there will be a proper waiter related post coming later but...

Pretty soon I'll be found rocking back and forward naked in the corner save for some tin foil on my head talking to Humphrey Bogart, who will of course be answering me back.

The noise is unbearable.


digger man Dave's digger

They kicked off just before 8 this morning and haven't let up for a moment since. When I left the bin out for collection yesterday three of the builder types were standing in next doors backyard with spades and that sort of thing. I should also add that they were stripped to their waists. Not pretty, not pretty at all. That's nice, I thought, they must be going to tidy the yard up.

No.

This morning when I went to retrieve the bin I found that half my yard wall was gone and the space where next doors yard used to be was now a scene reminiscent of the search for bodies at Fred West's house. The three Bob the Builders from yesterday were now joined by Dave the Digger Man, Standing Steve (there's always one who doesn't appear to be doing anything other than standing! I could do that!), and my new favourite Pishy Pete. Pishy Pete likes to pee outdoors. I was scanning the area for damage when I spied Pishy Pete with his lanyard out pishing up against the wall.

Fucking charming!

It's a bloody good job I have double shifts for the next two days at work or else I would start obsessing. I could very easily become one of those men who keeps a file of all their comings and goings and logs every infraction and bending of the rules. They end up going completely bonkers and wind up in jail for sabotaging the diggers and slashing the van tires.

What do you mean writing blog posts about them is the same thing?

Fuck off.

I've a video camera to be buying.......

17 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

sheepworrier said...

You've gone a bit Rear window on us here Manuel.

I think I went to school with Pishy Pete, or at the very least one of his close relations.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Pishy Pete could just as well be Urinating Yuri or an Evacuating Viktor these days in the bold new immigrant-friendly Ireland. Have you had a lot of Eastern Europeans moving to the North as well?

yoyo said...

HAH! Poor Manuel. :(
You should come to Bristol. It's full of hot European workers now due to the remaking of the City shopping center. And Damn are they fine.
Where are you again so I can avoid the area?


I think a little sabbotage is in order. Or call the police. Try one option, and when that turns out to be a bumbling idiotic waste of time, then you try the sabbotage.



You're a waiter, you cant be disturbed in such a way! It should be illegal to make a Waiter so cranky.

Blondefabulous said...

Isn't there a noise ordinence on you books over there? Most places in the States have noise laws that require no work before 9am or after 8pm! Severe fines and jail time await the pissers who violate and get turned in! Speaking of pissers, isn't that illegal too? Could be worse though, you could have Sodomy Steve over there instead!!

Anonymous Boxer said...

you sleep mostly during the day, yes?

You're so fucked, friend.

:-(

savannah said...

half your wall is gone? isn't that enough to have the work stopped? and yeah, what blondefab said..don't y'all have any noise laws? (poor you*hugs*) xoxox

Native Minnow said...

But did they find the bodies you buried under the fence? If not, you're still safe.

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

hate dat!!! the more you try to block the noise out the more you hear it grrrrrr!!

Manuel said...

sheepo: lucky you....actually lucky pishy pete.....

sam: Loads....bless em and there little back packs. I welcome them, good workers, good drinkers.....I don't ask for much more.....

yoyo: It should be illegal....people rely on me to bring them stuff....

blondie: Sodomy Steve? Nice.....Oh I'm sure he will be along shortly......

boxer: I like to get up about eleven....and not one minute before....

savannah: They assured me they would fix it right after......

minnow: i've been panicking.....

lorraine: I played Bauhaus all afternoon.....so no one was happy......

Grandad said...

I have a couple of high power sniper rifles I can lend you?

The builders next door are all dead/finished.

Manuel said...

grandad: make it happen......all our are decommissioned....

Medbh said...

Earplugs.
And valium.
Or you could try to befriend them.
Can you go for some working men's solidarity?

Manuel said...

medbh: I'm not sure they would consider what I do as being mens work!

AnfearBui said...

Give Pishy Pete's boss a copy of this.
http://www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/cis18.pdf

If they don't let you get some sleep they may also need one of these.
http://www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg69.pdf

Crispy said...

You should try taking a leaf out Roy Cropper's book (Coronation St) and check the building out for bat droppings - they are a protected species - would stop the building work for a while - or just get over yourself...you're going on hols soon with LMM and maybe Bob and the gang with have completed the job and Scoop, Muck and Roley will be on to the next job to bother someone elses sleeping patterns, eh?!

jen said...

Sounds horrible. Hope all that noise means that they're actually racing through their job at double-quick speed and will move on soon. Eternal optimist, me.

Who's running the site? Is there anyone you can get on to about it?

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