Obsessing...

I'm going mental.

I know this is off topic and all that and there will be a proper waiter related post coming later but...

Pretty soon I'll be found rocking back and forward naked in the corner save for some tin foil on my head talking to Humphrey Bogart, who will of course be answering me back.

The noise is unbearable.

digger man Dave's digger

They kicked off just before 8 this morning and haven't let up for a moment since. When I left the bin out for collection yesterday three of the builder types were standing in next doors backyard with spades and that sort of thing. I should also add that they were stripped to their waists. Not pretty, not pretty at all. That's nice, I thought, they must be going to tidy the yard up.

No.

This morning when I went to retrieve the bin I found that half my yard wall was gone and the space where next doors yard used to be was now a scene reminiscent of the search for bodies at Fred West's house. The three Bob the Builders from yesterday were now joined by Dave the Digger Man, Standing Steve (there's always one who doesn't appear to be doing anything other than standing! I could do that!), and my new favourite Pishy Pete. Pishy Pete likes to pee outdoors. I was scanning the area for damage when I spied Pishy Pete with his lanyard out pishing up against the wall.

Fucking charming!

It's a bloody good job I have double shifts for the next two days at work or else I would start obsessing. I could very easily become one of those men who keeps a file of all their comings and goings and logs every infraction and bending of the rules. They end up going completely bonkers and wind up in jail for sabotaging the diggers and slashing the van tires.

What do you mean writing blog posts about them is the same thing?

Fuck off.

I've a video camera to be buying.......