Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Builders...

The builders have moved in next door.

Not to live, but to destroy my happiness and reduce my sleep down to under 3 hours a night. thumbs up?
fuck off more like...


Drills, hammers, painting it's all doing my head in. How can painting be annoying I hear you ask? Because the fucking painter brought a fucking radio and apparently the only way to listen to the fucking twee country/easy listening fucking stylings of Hugo-fucking-Duncan (actual name) is at FULL FUCKING VOLUME.

And there is no talking to them about it. Well that's not strictly true, you can talk to them about it just don't expect any answers.

"So this gonna go on for how long?"

"Ah now well as long as it takes."

"Yes but how long is that gonna be, a week? Two weeks? A month?"

"Hard to say....about that long."

"How long?"

He answered by telling me all about the job, skirting boards, floors, kitchen, boiler blah blah blah. Never having renovated a house I have no frame of reference as to how much work is involved in repointing a kitchen.

What does that even mean, repointing a kitchen?

Please don't answer that, I don't care.

I'd expect to hear more about Manuel v The Builders over the next few weeks.

Or is it months.....?

24 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Angela-la-la said...

Repointing the whole kitchen?

Hmm... *shakes head slowly and whistles through teeth with sad look on face*

Blondefabulous said...

Months.....definitely months. We have a saying here in the States, "What ever the contractor promises for a time frame, add on 6 more months to that." It is usually very true. If you can ever get the sod to tell you how long the job is going to take, add on the 6 months and there you have you time in Purgatory!

Was that TMI??

Thunder Brainstorm said...

One word: Earplugs.

Manuel said...

angela-la-la: don't you start.....

blondie: now I'm crying.....

thundery: or holiday.....long holiday

Medbh said...

Are they doing just the kitchen or the whole thing?
My sympathies.
They could at least keep the music off in the morning.
Maybe you could bribe them with booze to be quiet?

Medbh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manuel said...

medbh: booze? no way! that would be heading down a very wrong road....I will take my usual route in such affairs....a week of hostilities followed by reason....

daisyfae said...

ouch... usually i go with "the best defense is a good offense" approach, and try to find something that will provide equal annoyance. but that might only slow them down.

so much for releasing stink bombs outside their window...

Manuel said...

daisfyae: I tried slayer to block them out this afternoon...didn't work....they brought a fucking mini digger thingy in instead....

savannah said...

headphones, sugar...good luck! xoxo

Manuel said...

savannah: ipod inside the house......it's the only way....

Gypsy said...

Head phones AND sleeping pills washed down with a liberal amount of booze to take the edge off.... Jaysus I actually sound like I've done this before....I haven't, just so you know.

Blondefabulous said...

Bob th Builder....

Can we fix it?

Bob the Builder....

Yes we can! ( annoy the shit out of Manuel, that is!)

MJ said...

I accidentally discovered Hugo Fucking Duncan one day while listening to Radio Ulster online.

Not easily forgotten unfortunately.

Old Knudsen said...

Hugo Fucking Duncan rocks!

some great ideas, mainly the drink and sleeping pills one can I write yer obituary? it will go like, cunt, cunt ,cunty, cunt I'm still working on the rest.

When I saw the builders and the painters were in I thought it was a post about you on yer period.

Repointing means a lot of quantities are going to be surveyed, may take months, it should all be over by Christmas.

Nick said...

I deeply sympathise, Manuel, having been in this situation plenty of times. I should reckon on months at least cos they'll keep finding more and more things that need fixing. And having tried every possible method of minimising the disturbance and usually failed, I'd say you probably have no choice but to drown out the frigging noise and disruption as best you can.

Or you could try Grandad's solution and have a housewarming party. All you need is some kerosene and matches....

sheepworrier said...

Months, definately months.
Fuggit, just grab a sledge hammer and go join them - its a great stress relief.

I saw hugo fucking duncan get in a fist-fight one time in Ballynahinch, true story!

bendersbetterbrother said...

In my experience the best way to speed up a tardy builder is to locate the local god botherer and make them aware of the souls that need saved nearby.

Conan Drumm said...

You think it's bad now? The day will come and there will be total blissfull silence, and you will unwind and go all relaxed. Then the very next day they will turn up again and be twice as noisy. And so it will go as the job nears "finishing".

You will find yourself down the barracks confessing to crimes you haven't committed, anything, ANYTHING, to get away from it.

English Mum said...

I fully recommend the rental of my newly formed teenager, plus his X-box and the Assassin's Creed game that goes with it. Nothing like loud, grunting fight sound effects and strange 'Spanamerican' accents to really, really piss one off. I should know.

Manuel said...

There is no beating them.....8am this morning.....big drill......gonna cry......

Button Ginger said...

Repointing. It's when you take what looks like a little pickaxe and scrape all the loose mortar from in between the bricks and then fill it all up again with fresh mortar.

It helps to keep the walls watertight and prevent damp from getting in.

It's a tough job that can only be done in good weather - it could takes weeks and weeks for that one job alone.

As for the rest....well.....shakes head mournfully......the house is in such a state that the builder himself doesn't know what's going on.

Some of these old houses....tut....it's a scandal the way they're neglected

Manuel said...

button ginger: I'm gonna get you....get you good.....

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