Sunday, 6 January 2008

Someone's boring me. I think it's me.

But tonight it wasn't me. It was everybody else.....


I cleaned the window sills. Then I had a little smoke. And then another. I followed that up by polishing a tray of cutlery. I killed another 15 minutes by searching through the diary for any interesting bookings later on in the year. There are no interesting bookings later on in the year.

I considered counting tiles, both ceiling and floor, but decided against it. I'm not quite there yet plus I need to save something for Wednesday night. Then some more staff arrived and that broke the monotony for a good five minutes. But after that the three of us just stood there like the line up from King of the Hill...


Yup

A tell you what..

Yup

Y..........up

Some snow yesterday

Yup, some snow

Took an hour to get to work

An hour?

Yup an hour

Huh

Yup

Im goin for a smoke

Yup

Yup

Then some customers arrived. But they were super fucking dull. I mean new levels of dullness, boredom, and monotony were achieved tonight. For example I had a table of two Swiss Tourists, and lets be honest they aren't a nation highly regarded for their wonderful demeanor and sunny disposition, who just wouldn't bite. I asked them if they were on holiday,

"Yes, we are on holiday."

You're French?

"No we're Swiss." Oh right. You been to Belfast before? You like it here?

"No, and it's a very nice place."

Okay then......eh.....right, don't wanna talk then. Can I listen to your conversation? I wont say anything, I just wanna listen. If they had been Americans they would still be telling me private and personal details of Bob's bypass surgery or how Martha came third in the ladies winter golf championship. But not the Swiss, yes, no, yes, no blah blah blah. Actually there wasn't even any blah blah blahs.

I wandered off.

Something needs to happen before long. I don't need much, just something to keep me busy. I don't really want to break a sweat but I really do need something, other than fucking cleaning, to do. I could come round to your house and serve you......

But then again at least I still have a job. Go visit HALF SERVER/HALF AMAZING. She's just been fired for discussing tips on a website....The dirty rotten bastards.....

19 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

up said...

Wonder why I haven't seen Half Server's blog before now? I wonder what website tips were discussed on? Oh I'm so nosy. Anyway, this is a mystery Manuel, maybe since you're bored and such....you could do some investigating? Honestly, I've never heard of anyone getting fired for discussing tips. Unless of course customers names were named. But still...

upset waitress said...

that was supposed to be upset waitress above haha. I've had a bit tonight ..oops.

Manuel said...

Shock
Horror! You? Having a drink? Hehehehhe

Yeah I need more details too. I'll send LMM round she always has the best questions.....

Native Minnow said...

You could always purchase one of those cell phones with TV access to ease the boredom. You know, because we NEED to have so much TV in our lives.

Manuel said...

minnow: I need human contact......real people not reality tv......

Gypsy said...

I'll send some Aussie friends round to your restaurant. You won't make any money (hehehe) but at least you'll get a conversation out of them. Besides, most Aussies can drink up a storm and that could get entertaining if you're really THAT bored.

hensteeth said...

King of the Hill is set in my little town in Texas. And Arlen is a mangled version of my town's name. And it looks like my little city complete with the alley life and fences. With people who look like that and act like that and talk just like that.

It is all incredibly and disturbingly lifelike. But it is home. 'Nuff said.

Rosie said...

just tell me where you work, Manuel. i'll come over for dinner, laugh at your jokes, make some mildly amusing dining faux pas, get drunk, fondle your arse, tip large and leave my number on a napkin.

Best. Night. Ever.

Manuel said...

Gypsy: I'd even take Aussies right now.......but just for this month

hensteeth: yup.....hehehe do you use propane?

Manuel said...

Rosie: Blog gold....

Mudflapgypsy said...

A friend spent a year in Switzerland and made comment that the swiss were as dull as dishwater. Generalisations are never clever.

MJ said...

Spending an evening with Canadians would have been a good warm-up for a night with the Swiss.

I think I just bored myself with my own comment.

yoyo said...

Ah dont worry about how dead it is. You'll be missing the slowness in a few weeks when the swarms return and it's back to mad mad chaos.

ellie said...

You need to start dropping clues about where you work then I could send you some customers who would brighten even the dullest shift!

Nice try ...... ?

ellie said...

By the way, tiled floor and ceiling is not a good clue.

Medbh said...

Why not write at work, Manuel? I know it's rough using a pen when you get used to the keyboard, but that's a good way to avoid boredom.

Niall said...

dude, could be worse... paul could become a regular again. hmmmm the scentless aprentice. you have some crazy assed co workers.. may I point refrence to the betrothed one or not so as the current case may be. that madman is sure to spice up anyones life... take his recent unplanned holiday.. its like eastenders but with more madness. came in for a visit and got told the story. found it amusing but strangely was not surprised. You were noteable by your absence. pity
happy new year by the by

Hospitality Lawyer said...

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