Wednesday, 9 January 2008

My nose has been elevated

the house red?
if you must sir....


This current down time in restaurant based activities, cleaning aside, leaves me with little or nothing to blog about. I know you are all waiting with baited breath for the result of my counting the tiles, both floor and ceiling, but you shall wait. That shall be a dear diary day.

There aren't enough guests to shake a wine list at so my days are filled with small talk with cooker jockeys, the most recent discussion being, "Is the head chef allowed to talk to us like that?" The answer is of course no. But the kitchen is the place that EU directives and employment law forgot. So when the head chef calls you horrible names and belittles you in front of the rest of the crew what you gonna do? Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? I don't think so. You just have to remember to wear clean whites next Sunday...

In other news I passed my wine exam! Yippee! I got [cough cough] percent, which was pleasing. Funnily enough The Princess and I got the exact same score. How odd. Wish I'd been sitting beside the glorious leader's brother as he got a merit score. Being a twin the glorious leader is somewhat upset about this as he didn't score a merit. We had all been waiting for our results to arrive in the post, but it turns out we were supposed to contact the college to get them. All those anxious mornings waiting for the postman to arrive were for nowt. Now I can pontificate with confidence, I can correct people, and I can become an absolute wine snob. Another dream realised folks! I can feel my nose moving a little further upwards. That's what the world needs, more snooty waiters! All I need now are some customers so I can put my new found snobbery knowledge into practice.

I've joined a new Social Networking site called FOHBOH. Now up until now I had avoided such things like the plague. I said no to Bebo, Myspace, and Facebook. No offense but they are a little strange. Seriously how odd/creepy is Bebo? But FOHBOH is a social network for restaurant professionals. It's early days but if you are interested in joining just click.....


shameless whoring? moi?

30 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Tony said...

re the head chef - have you tried droll sarcasm he doesn't understand? I find the passive aggressive nature of it keeps me sane...give it a shot....

Native Minnow said...

So, you're not only a wine snob, but a social network snob as well?

Manuel said...

tony: he gets even more angry when he is confused.....

minnow: and music snob too....

bendersbetterbrother said...

"social network for restaurant professionals"... isn't that The Crown?
manuel, there's no dishonour in being unable to walk up Great Victoria Street at 3pm, don't let anybody tell you any different.

Manuel said...

BBB: best social network there is......prefer The Spaniard all the same.....

ellie said...

Congratulations on the exam results. I have to admit, I have deleted a Bebo account but still have a MySpace and Facebook. I just have to join in these things because I fear being left out if they are the next big thing. I get bored with them very quickly.

Manuel said...

ellie: if i'm being honest i just don't have time for all of it......

psychicgeek.com said...

The reason the bluebloods have their noses elevated? Sinus problems. Nobody likes to see snot dripping downhill. Just saying...

Manuel said...

psychicgeek: I'll only do it for a day....i bore myself easily.....

Gypsy said...

Congrats on the exam results Manuel. I actually live in the state where many Australian wines come from so maybe I'll quizz you from time to time and keep you on your toes :)

Manuel said...

Gypsy: eh uh eh .....rumbled!!!!

MJ said...

Have you done a piece on wine and food pairings?

Please direct me, if so.

If not, what wine should I serve with Heinz baked beans?

tallulahbloom said...

I'm with you on the social networking sites, I do of course join them all and then freak out when I am contacted by former employees,people from school who you hated and ex boyfriends who suddenly think it would be fun to keep in touch!
Well done on the wine exam, now that sounds like a fun thing to revise.

conortje said...

Congrats! Well done. That reminds me I seriously am beginning to wonder if The Ned really exists. I've been looking out for it everywhere and even wrote them an e mail to which I never received a response :-(

yoyo said...

No, the chef is NOT allowed to verbally abuse his staff more than absolutely nescessary.
Maybe he's some twat who's seen too much cooking reality programmes, and indeed acts like a 'smacked arse' ( I beleive that was your term, manuel? :D ) but no.
You dont treat the people you work directly with like shit, and if the Chef does that that much, then all staff concerned should take the issue to the manager.
The manager may ignore one person, but he cant if it's the entire kitchen crew. Plus backup of a sobbing waiter or two,which of course you'll voulounteer to be, right? Right?

fatmammycat said...

Congratulation Manuel, now you can arch your eyebrow like a french man and look down your nose on so very many tiresome customers.

Caro said...

Congratulations, Manuel. You'll need a snobby accent to be able to pronounce FOHBOH as one should. Or as I imagine one should...

Manuel said...

Mj: no but I will......

tallulahbloom: it's not as much fun as you'd think....and neither was the exam

conortje: it must exist....if not what the hell was I drinking on nye? crikey....

yoyo: hell no! i've learnt to keep my elevated nose out of such affairs......i watch from behind the pass.....

fmc: now? ha!

caro: cheers.....Im practicing already....

sheepworrier said...

I'll have the house white and a bottle of blue WKD for the woman...

Manuel said...

sheepo: "she'll have..."

dave said...

Congrats on the wine exam...not too hard now, was it?
Oh, how I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you start bullshitting your customers with wine facts.
zzzzz
Now you can describe to everyone on this blog how Buckfast is made.

sheepworrier said...

Dave: it comes from milking tramps.

fatmammycat said...

Sheepie, snarf to the max.

Manuel said...

dave: see sheepo

Sheepo: see help

FMC: don't encourage him....hehehe

Medbh said...

Well done on the wine exam, Manuel. You now have the credentials to assume expert status.

I always reached for invisible status with the head chef.

Sheepo: gross, but very funny.

upset waitress said...

Call it what it really is Manuel. You aren't a snob. You're a bitch.

Is it just me? said...

Would a 'chef' in a montessori count as a professional?

Is it just me? said...

Oh Oh ! congratulations!

Manuel said...

Medbh: Don't encourage him...thanks...

Upset: Oh you'd like that wouldn't you...

Is it" Hell yes....and thanks...

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