Subscribe...

Friday 28 December 2007

Valid if you are 7, idiotic otherwise.....

Some people have too much time on their hands and little to be worrying about. I don't mean bloggers, we are vital and important and pioneers of the new media. Or maybe not. But honestly some people must really be living charmed and easy lives. A friend, who must remain nameless but lets call him Percy, works for the BBC. He answers viewers questions regarding BBC programmes. Important stuff like, where did Dot Cotton get her blouse from? And is Matthew Amroliwala married?

Seriously?

What?

Is there nothing else going on in your life?

Now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with a bit trivia, it cant all be global warming and debating the Middle East situation. But for someone to be bothered to get off their arse, search for the appropriate phone number, dial said number, ask ridiculous question and wait for the answer boggles the mind. He has been swamped with idiots viewers asking about the new BBC ident showing penguins ice skating. And what is it that is keeping the nation awake? What aspect of the trailer is bugging the viewers the most? Let me tell you dear readers, the question that is keeping Percy in a job and that has taken up more of his time than anything else recently is.....Are the penguins real?

That would be these penguins here, the ones ice skating, trying to get stuff from the vending machine, and pirouetting on the ice.



Are they real? Are you fucking real? Are you toot tooting on the crack pipe? Unless you are 7 years old that is not a valid question for anyone to ask. It's a bloody good job I don't work with Percy. The first few phone calls would be amusing but after that I don't think I could hold back from patronising the hell out of them. And laughing at them. I'd be laughing loud and sneering too. Laughing, sneering, and patronising.....well I am a waiter, what would you expect? Oh and I would definitely start lying to them. "Oh yes sir, the penguins are real. We got the people from Disney to train them. But we had to shoot them after as we couldn't release them back into the wild."

So just to save our Percy from any more ridiculous questions let me clear up a few things...
  1. The penguins in the video are not real. They were created on a computer.
  2. The dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, also not real and also created on a computer.
  3. Matthew Amroliwala is real, and is married with four children.
  4. I have no idea where dot Cotton gets her blouses from, but any charity shop should be a good bet.
  5. Gary Lineker is also real but his tan is fake, probably St Tropez.
  6. Jeremy Paxman, not real, and was also created on a computer, probably by NASA.
This is where the license fee goes people...........think about that when you have to renew.....

There will be more from Percy, he is a never ending source of blog gold, which is better than actual gold.....

17 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Sassy Sundry said...

They are to so real, Manuel. Are you 7? Now where did my pipe run off to?

Manuel said...

bwahahaha

The Mistress said...

Does Percy have a blog? If not, please encourage him.

Is he looking for another job? If so, I'll replace him.

I know where Pat Butcher gets her earrings. Fans mail them to her.

Manuel said...

Mj: I've said it to him but....I'm gonna encourage him to guest on her occasionally.....

Karen said...

We want Percy.....We want Percy.... OMG he would be fantastic to have as a guest spot on your blog. Those penguins are very cute but yeah....the crack pipe has obviously been a big hit in some of these households. Geez....

ellie said...

A woman once rang me up at work to say she had hurt her leg, we have to record accurate information so I asked her which leg, I still chuckle at her reply....

"The one nearest the kitchen door!"

I couldn't talk I just slid off my chair with tears streaming down my face. I would be so crap at Percy's job.

The public, don't you just love them?

fatmammycat said...

ahahha, dear oh dear, but it does remind me that the little Goth Kid once asked me if wasps had hands. I believe she was 15 at the time.

Megan McGurk said...

Love the part about shooting them.
Heehee.
Do they also ring up and ask Percy if Santa is real? Or jeebus?

Anonymous said...

well, to be fair, they are quite well done, aren't they? i mean the penguins.

...teeheehee.

Native Minnow said...

So, is there any way I could adopt one of the penguins so you don't shoot them? I'd much rather club them. It's more primal.

Mr. DNA said...

REAL, REAL, REAL, IT'S ALL REAL!

Don't listen to Manuel. Next he'll be telling us that Uri Gellar is a fake!

If I've said it once, I'll say it again, Everything on the internets is REAL!

You just gotta have faith.

MommyHeadache said...

This is not really BBC related but I have always wondered (ask Percy if you can) whether those flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz are 1. kids in monkey costumes 2. midgets in monkey constumes 3. early animatronics or what???

Anonymous said...

Every night in the bathroom my boyfriend polishes his penguin.

savannah said...

jaysus1 i thought we were stupid, sugar, but ya'll take it to another level!

happy neww year! ;-)

The Mistress said...

EMMA: They were midgets.

See Percy? I could be your assistant.

Manuel said...

gypsy: watch this space....

ellie:bwahahaha

fmc: as above

medbh: you have to assume so.....

angela: crack?

minnow: ah the traditional way....

mr dna: double crack?

ems: check mj.....she knows....

upseto: ha!

savannah: no no we have our fair share of idiots....

mj: thanks for clearing that up...

Anonymous said...

成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲, AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城,
ut聊天室, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網,
美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇,
日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,