Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Tequila Mockingbird and other nonsense...

Never!!

You have to wonder what goes on in the minds of restaurateurs when it comes to naming their establishments. These people have flair and creativity in abundance but when it comes to naming their restaurants their minds seem to draw a blank. Most stick to the safe route of naming it after themselves, maybe it's ego over safety. Deanes Deli, Deanes at Queens, Deanes Brasserie for example. If they don't name it after themselves then it's location that gets the nod, Hill Street Brasserie and James St South being prime examples.

The Chinese are probably the worst at naming restaurants. No originality at all. How many Hong Kong Night's, Four Season's, Golden Mandarin's, Bamboo Palaces or derivatives must there be in the world? Let's be honest the Irish aren't much better, Molly this, O'Somethingorothers that, The Four Leaf Clover and so on. Mercifully, most of those sort of places aren't actually located in Ireland. But I bet Boston's coming down with them!

And when they do let their creative side out of it's box they get met with a chorus of abuse, confusion, and laughter. I remember when Aubergines and Blue Jeans opened in Belfast back in the 90's. "What the fuck is it?" screamed the taxi drivers in a cynical lets abuse it because we don't understand it sort of way. "What's an ohberginies?" they would ask, attempting to pronounce every letter. It's probably why it didn't last for long, well that and the owner getting caught "being creative" with one of the waiters one to many times and getting divorced and sued for all he had. Allegedly. Bananas was another one of his too.

Some names do work though. "For Cod & Ulster" is a fish and chip shop in East Belfast. It's a great name, a play on the old Protestant slogan of "For God & Ulster". They have a menu full of that sort of thing, there is the Gerry Adams burger, bacon, cheese, salad & any sauce. There is a Paisley burger too, it's the same as the Adams burger but with an onion ring. My favourite has to be the George Best Burger though, bird on top beef down below (1/4 beef burger, chicken breast, salad and sauce). Makes me chuckle. Rumour has it that the guy that owns "For Cod & Ulster" wants to open another in the West of the city using a Republican slogan. So that will be interesting then. Wish he would open one near me, just to get rid of the bloody awfully named "Guccii" chippy,. I assume the extra "i" is to avoid copyright infringement. Saying that it used to be called BJ's. That placed really sucked.

The Americans do it best though. Where else would you get, Mustards Last Stand, Once Upon a Thai, & Tequila Mockingbird. Has to be better than Bob's Bar and Grill....

34 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Conan Drumm said...

The 'Cod and Ulster' man was on the radio here the other morning, brought on a rash of menu suggestions from listeners. If you opened your own gaff would you call it The Tipping Point?

Anonymous Boxer said...

Excellent question from Conan... what would YOU name a restaurant? Hmmmm, now?

I went to a Chinese vegetarian resturant recently... the name? Vegetarian Restaurant. At least I knew what I was getting.

Primal Sneeze said...

The Chinese one here is called the Wok-U-Like. I thought that was pretty witty until I discovered there are hundreds in the UK called of the same name.

Not that it matters as the locals have already renamed it the Open-Soon as that's what it says over the door for 8 months now.

Manuel said...

Conan Drumm: I would name it after myself! Obviously! I've often dreamt of opening my own place.I would still work as a waiter and keep my true identity a secret only revealing myself when the needs arose. ie when someone complained about me. "But I AM the manager/owner. Now get out!" AH what fun could be had.....

Anonymous Boxer: There a veggie restaurant in Manchester called, "Eighth day", eh? What's that all about?

Primal Sneeze: Not forgetting the Wok of Life, Wok this Way, and Wok on the Wildside. I stay away from any restaurant that reminds me of Dire Straits....

Conan Drumm said...

Ah, 'Chez Man Well'... I like it!

Manuel said...

Conan Drumm: Cheese Manuels more like.....

CyberScribe said...

I always liked..

The Legless Arms, a pub in Belleek

Curl Up and Dye, a hairdressers in Maghera

Manuel said...

Cyberscribe: Hahahahaha or Hoppy Dobbins, sounds cute? It's a blood bath....

Anonymous said...

I know of a Chinese restuarant called "The Shat Inn" and another called "King Ki House" ooooh, I say!

Conan Drumm said...

And there's a pub in Cahersiveen called the Claudia Arms!

I suspect, Manuel, that you are already the Maitre d'Etre of your establishment.

Sassy Sundry said...

Yes, yes, there are far too many "Irish" pubs in Boston, and they are to be avoided like the plague. Sadly, a good one, Paddy Burke's, closed.

Taco Loco is my favorite oddly named establishment these days.

angela said...

there's a restaurant where I live called Vasta's (named after the guy who made it), but the interesting part of the story is this...

he decided to put up a bowling alley right next to the restaurant and you could have pizza and wings and etc from the restaurant while you were bowling..HOWEVER. when he first built it, the thing collapsed to the ground with workers in it. yeah. luckily no one was hurt...and so, he named it Vasta's Miracle Lanes!

yeah that story seemed way more interesting when i was not typing it. hehehe.

Is it just me? said...

Theres a really good chines restaurant in the East Village, NYC called 'Sitting Duck'...great crispy duck..you'd wonder about the fact that its right beside a small city park with (you guessed it)a duck pond.

Is it just me? said...

Of course the best I've ever heard of is 'Hitlers Cross' cafe in Mumbai...and no they didn't name it by accident.


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1917489.cms

Manuel said...

Anonymous: HAHAHAHAHAHA Tremendous!

Conan Drumm: Yes, yes I am, amongst other things and names I get called..

Sassy: More Oirish than Irish I suspect...

Angela: Yes it probably was...hehehehe just joking...

Yes it is just you: Crazy Mumbai bastards!!

Medbh said...

I came over expecting blood on the wall, Manuel.

I can see the appeal of having a place with your own name on it, but my fear would be if it were not successful and got bad reviews.
"Medbh's is shit."
"Medbh's should be shut down."
It would be too depressing.

Manuel said...

Medbh: I had originally done a post about lassie v the littlest hobo with a poll etc and a quote from you. I decided a post about TV dogs fighting it to the death would be more than a little insensitive and gave it the chop...

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

There's a hairdresser's right by a police station in Minneapolis called Crops & Bobbers.

We are voting on that very subject at the moment for the bar/restaurant/utter folly we are about to partner in. Considering the nature of the town (California. Weirdy. Beardy) I wanted it to be called The Therapist and Firkin, or even The Firkin Therapist. But this is the town that wouldn't allow a restaurant to be called The Farmer and The Outlaw for fear of being seen to condone outlaws. Seriously.

At the moment, the rather dull Patio Grill seems to be the favourite. I hate it.

Manuel said...

Sam: Wasn't there a restaurant in the news in the US called the bearded clam or something like similar that caused a lot of grief? Might have been the pink tacos now that I think about it.....

Mudflapgypsy said...

Bugger, someone beat me to it with my favourite comedy chinese takeaway "The Shat Inn" on the falls road. "Remember tatse" and "The Calorie" are another couple, these two still being open for business. The "Foo-Kin" noodle bar on Bradbury place made me laugh out loud when I first saw it.

savannah said...

i haven't seen an original name in ages...but then look where i am, sugar *sigh*

Medbh said...

Ack! I missed it! That's what happens when you get wrapped up in the real world.
Que lastima!

Manuel, how about this for the republican chipper:

"Our Cod Will Come."
"For Cod and Ireland"
"Erin go Cod"
"Brits Out, Cod In"
"United Ireland Cod"
"Cod Anois"
"Gaelic Cod"

Medbh said...

Hey, isn't The Bearded Clam the name of the pub on "Family Guy"?

hyperhan said...

A fave of mine: There's a barbers in the East called 'Yer head's Cut' - thought that was quite witty.

Manuel said...

Muddy: Ah the Fook inn. Now that's originality...

Sav: Not easy petal, not easy. If you ever wanna swap let me know.....

Medbh: I actually think he mentioned For Cod and Ireland. I like Cod Anois though...Hahahahaha bearded clam, you're right...

Hyperhan: There's a sandwich shop called STARVOS over in the West. Ewwwww

The Hangar Queen said...

How about Cod Is Aimn Duit?

A stretch...I know.

Manuel said...

Hangar Queen: Hahahaha just a bit - I've no idea....what....eh...

The Hangar Queen said...

Fuckery! It was supposed to be Cod Is Ainm Duit.

Martin said...

Does anyone else recall a restaurant in bradbury place called RATZ? Wonder why that went under?

On a (tenously) related point, my cousin has a picture of a dress shop in toronto's china town from a visit a few years back. Its name? Ho's Clothing. Oh how we laughed!

OneForTheRoad said...

I used to pass a chinese takeaway called "long tray".

There was another one around Rathmines I think called "Chips & Rice"

The best had to the the Nagina Tandoori on Georges St though. Some young pup whipped the left leg off the N one night.

It is now called something else less funny.

ironbed said...

There's an Indian one (I think it may be a franchise) in New York called Curry In A Hurry.

Manuel said...

Hangar Queen; I eh um guessed that

Martin: Ratz, I remember Ratz. It was replaced by another called Prego......wtf?

OFTR: Chips and Rice, quality......

Ironbed: Does what it says on the tin eh.....

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slave to the tip said...

There are (or were) two places here in Las Vegas named the Slanted Clam
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-slanted-clam-tavern-las-vegas
AND Pink Taco
http://www.hardrockhotel.com/las-vegas/dining/pink-taco/
It appears that the Slanted Clam has closed...no pun intended...but the Pink Taco is alive and well inside the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.