Sunday, 9 September 2007

FATE eh? It was gonna happen

mmmmmmmmmouse burger
want one....

This is the cover of FATE MAGAZINE'S latest edition. For those of you not blessed enough to live in Belfast, FATE MAGAZINE is a local entertainment guide. They are apparently the number 1 entertainment guide for Belfast and Northern Ireland. I think this means they give away more copies than any of their rivals. It is full of the usual bar and restaurant reviews, features on local people of "interest" and advertising features. It is available in most bars and restaurants for free. Well it was. The latest issue has some people, namely restaurateurs, bar owners and chefs all in a tizzy.

As you can see it has a rather graphic photograph of someone about to eat a burger, but wait, don't eat it! THERE'S A MOUSE IN IT! WOW THAT WAS CLOSE! The article is about Belfast City Council's Scores on the Doors initiative. I don't need to explain this again as I covered it ages ago. By the way, my restaurant scored 3 stars, and everybody was rather pleased. Then we remembered that we are opposed to the system and went back to pretending not to care.

Any hoo, some local operators aren't having it. And have taken the hump with FATE MAGAZINE and have pulled the offending edition out of their bars and restaurants. The bins of many restaurants and bars were over flowing with copies of the magazine still in their delivery wrappers.

Whoops, a bit of an own goal for a magazine that relies solely on advertising revenue. The article itself is pretty inoffensive apart from this overly dramatic line,
"Let's face facts, we live in a climate of fear about the quality and sustenance of available foodstuffs [and it] is an issue which has become markedly more acute in recent times."

A climate of fear? Not sure about that. There wasn't much fear in evidence on Saturday as my customers scoffed like condemned men and women enjoying one last meal. Restaurateurs are sensitive about the whole food safety issue. And they have every right to be, just as the public has the right not to have a mouse in their burger. Has that ever really happened? Apart from that famous urban myth regarding KFC and it's mouse/chicken burger. I still don't think there is a need for the Scores on the Doors system. If the council are doing their jobs then bad and unsafe restaurants etc will be dealt with accordingly and the public will be kept safe.

I liked the magazine cover and the maggot pizza on the inside. They were well done. Maybe they shouldn't have put such a graphic picture on the cover and alienate the very people that keep them going. Fate eh? It was going to happen....

mouse bottom not available in the restaurants and bars of Belfast
(maybe in Larne though...)


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18 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Fucking gross, Manuel. Ew.
You can't blame the owners for ditching that unsightly picture. That won't inspire and appetite. One of the urban myths I loved was the bit about the pizza delivery guy who jerked off on the pie. The bonus was that he had AIDS and infected the pizza party guests. Did you have that one there? People actually believed it.

Manuel said...

MEDBH: Oh it's filthy looking. Haven't heard that one before. Might release it into wild myself, see what comes back....

John Cav said...

FATE Magazine smacks of an editor with ideas wildly above his station... And a terribly stupid one at that.

"Hey Jimmy Sub-Editor, I've a great idea for our new cover!"

"What's that boss?"

"You know the way our magazine is circulated almost exclusively in eateries(feckin' hate that term - JC)?"

"Yeah boss."

"Well, I think we should put a disgusting picture on the cover designed solely to put people off their grub. But wait, there's more... We then vaguely criticise the businesses whose ad revenue keeps this magazine going... What do you think?"

"Erm..."

"That Pullitzer is mine!"

Manuel said...

John Cav: Exactly what I was thinking. I'm all for the freedom of the press n all that and that they shouldn't be worried about the advertisers getting annoyed. But if you make your money through advertising alone it ain't smart to piss the advertisers off. Time magazine it isn't....

John said...

'What the' I heard foot and mouth was back again recently but that is taking the p... Great post's Manuel. After having read many of your rants, I do enjoy and can relate to a lot of your writing. Regards John lol (sorry for not commenting before)

Anonymous Boxer said...

I knew there was a reason I'm a vegetarian.

ellie said...

I usually pick up my copy of Fate in the sandwich bar close to work, I haven't seen that cover yet, not exactly what I want to look at just before I tuck into my BLT.
How stupid of the editor though!

sheepworrier said...

So you think fate got some karma? tee hee hee(sorry).

its just something i would pick up at the offies, throw in the bag and never actually read, but im gonna have to search this one out. actually youve prob doubled fate's readership by posting about it. how will you live with yourself Manuel?

Sassy Sundry said...

Yeah, I wouldn't want that in my restaurant. As a patron, I'd read that issue.

Medbh, we always heard that one about donuts.

fatmammycat said...

Squeeeee, that's bloody minging. Talk about shooting themselves in the foot.

sheepworrier said...

urban legend no. 2

kfc in newcastle (norn iron)

fella asks for chiken burger with no mayo, takes a bite out of it and notices some 'white stuff' on the burger. he promptly goes up to complain to the spotty imbicile who served him - they swear blind there was no mayo.
apparently there was some sort of tumour on the chicken and the white stuff was puss.

believe it? i think not.

Manuel said...

I'm up to my man boobs in work (actual work not blog work) today. I have to re-write a training plan, so I'll respond properly to all your comments later.

Why do I volunteer for these things? eh? Minimum bloody wage to do a managers job? There'll be tears before bedtime I can tell ye.....

jeremy said...

Fear, they're selling fear. They want you to open the magazine so you know which restaurant might have a dead mouse in the burger. Marketing 101. Which doesn't make any of this better. One very good reason to be a hermit.

Flirty Something said...

Serious bad business move, how could no one stop him?

livesbythewoods said...

Round here that's a delicacy. Mmmm mouse. In a bun.

Manuel said...

John: Welcome, don't be shy, I don't bite. I can be a bit surly but I am a waiter what would you expect?!

Anonymous Boxer: Food without faces n all that. I used to be a vegamatarian too. Bacon got the better of me...

Ellie: But isn't it daft! D'oh...

Sheepo: They take themselves very serious you know. The Fate awards are now a big deal. Saying that they had that bint of Celebrity Big Brother handing out gongs at the last awards. It was the nasty one who was picking on yer woman. Seems they like controversy....

Sassy: But would you wanna read it before you ate?

FMC: Lets not talk about it, lets do it!

Sheepo: KFC? Probably true. They have more fines than any other food chain in the North, nice...

Jeremy: Welcome newbie. Yeah but that ain't their remit. Stories about c listers going out for coffee and charity fundraisers are their bread and butter. It's what pays their wages...

Flirty: Ego, one assumes...

LBTW: Savage wood dweller, savage I say....

Anonymous said...

Fate consists of a heap of crap anyway! Free cause no-one would purchase it.... Don't worry - the only people who have read that - were not really reading - just sitting in their local awaiting a friend and flicking! So there you have it. Fate - I don't think so - Crap - YES!

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