Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Existentialist Tuesday - Do I exist? I mean, as a waiter


Exists, doesn't exist, exists, doesn't exist
I wait, therefore I am

Old Knudsen, the bitter master, advised me to enjoy my moment in the sun (did I mention my one line mention in the Guardian?) and not to let it go to my head. Wise words indeed. And with that in mind I have taken to wearing black today, smoking French cigarettes, and quoting Sartre...
Sartre's Waiter- An example of Bad Faith

Let us consider this waiter in the cafe. His movement is quick and forward, a little too precise, a little too rapid. He comes toward the patrons with a step a little too quick. He bends forward a little too eagerly; his voice, his eyes express an interest a little too solicitous for the order of the customer. Finally there he returns, trying to imitate in his walk the inflexible stiffness of some kind of automaton while carrying his tray with the recklessness of a tight-rope-walker by putting it in a perpetually unstable, perpetually broken equilibrium which he perpetually re-establishes by a light movement of the arm and hand. All his behavior seems to us a game. He applies himself to chaining his movements as if they were mechanisms, the one regulating the other; his gestures and even his voice seem to be mechanisms; he gives himself the quickness and pitiless rapidity of things. He is playing, he is amusing himself. But what is he playing?

We need not watch long before we can explain it: he is playing at being a waiter in a cafe. There is nothing there to surprise us.
Nailed us Mr Sartre, nailed us good.

Is there any such thing as a "natural born waiter"? Aren't we all just playing a role? Some people play the roll better than others, they appear natural, less stiff, more relaxed. But essentially they are still just playing a roll.

Me? I prefer bread rolls....

I had that Jean-Paul Sartre in the restaurant one day, I approached him and asked:

"Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
I nodded in agreement and walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. But a few minutes later, however, I returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream ......... how about with no milk?"

Old Knudsen has finally realised that waiting is where it's at...you must check this out

15 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

John Cav said...

Existentialism, pendantic sarcasm and turtle head jokes via the same post... Huzzah sir(s)!

Well Done Millie. I likes.

ellie said...

LMAO @ Millie not pregnant. CLever Mr K.

Medbh said...

You guys are exhausting with all your blogging.
Imperialists of the blogosphere, I say!
Sartre was a mean fucker and I'll take Camus anyday.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Why don't you and Old Knudsen join together into ONE Blog. Then your loyal commenters can save their fingers from multiple clicks and comments.

Then, there's another thought... what if YOU'RE Old Knudsen and you actually have 30 blogs.

Manuel said...

John Cav: A good waiter has it all, so do irate Old gits too

Elli: Made me chuckle for ages...

Medbh: Camus? Like Camel Lights? I prefer loose leaf tobacco myself...Hehehehehe...more blogs = bigger penis, fact...

Anonymous Boxer: What if you and I are the same person and I'm talking to myself...? See back to Sartre again...

Old Knudsen said...

I'm trying to get my head round the no milk. Good idea lets start a blog together, I want it to be about fisting pandas.

Manuel said...

Old K: You fist em, I'll hold your coat

fatmammycat said...

I'll take pictures and sell 'em to the Japanese.

Conan Drumm said...

Hmm, if waiting = being, the empty table = nothingness?




Btw, I knew Knudie was a panderer.

Manuel said...

FMC: I want 20%, I always want 20%

Conan Drumm: No, no, no, less than 15% = nothingness. Knudie is a panderer all right, that's one of the many words....

EmmaK said...

It would be difficult for you not to exist as a waiter because how else would the food get on the plates and be delivered to the patrons? There you go. Existential crisis averted.

benderbetterbrother said...

I refuse to talk about anything I can't spell. Anyway, all that highbrow stuff is what the French want you to think to distract you from the fact that they're all cheese eating surrender monkeys.
But Satre, did you notice his bad breath?

CyberScribe said...

I'm wondering do you take your orders on a laptop and at any available moment blog.

Well Done Millie - brill :-)

Manuel said...

Emma K: Logic eh, brilliant.....

BBB: I'm a bit of a Francophile actually. God bless em and their funny ways....

Cyberscribe: No I've just cut out sleeping.....

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