Sunday, 12 August 2007

You wouldn't even think about doing it...

Awh so sweet...

I had this lovely table of 2 the other night, Mother and daughter. They were out to celebrate their birthdays. The mother's had been a few days earlier and the daughter's was coming up over the weekend. I thought it was very sweet. The mother looked quite proud, almost as if she had been looking forward to this "rite of passage" moment. They ordered well, crab claws, steaks, wine and all the sides you could want.

We weren't very busy and I put a bit of effort in for them. Well you have to some time, it's normally very difficult to motivate me when it's quiet. But I thought the picture of a mother and teenage daughter out together for dinner was, like I say, very sweet. Let's be honest most teenagers spend their time moping about their bedroom's waiting for other mopes to text them or indulging in that other teenage past time of self harming. Ask them if they want to go out for a family dinner and you will be met with a "For Gawd's sake leave me alone maaaaaaannnn".

I fussed around them topping up their wine and smiling sweetly. I had a plan to get them some of our very indulgent chocolate fondant cake resplendent with two birthday candles. I wasn't going to sing happy birthday though. I do for large parties when you can be sure they are going to join in and I can fade my screech out. But not with a table for two. It would be as embarrassing for them as it would be for me. I had a vision of tears and upset, "Mummy make the man stop, please make him stop..." as the daughter rocked her self into psychotic state. It's happened a few times in the past.

As it happened my silky tones were not going to be heard. In fact the indulgent chocolate fondant cake wasn't going to get and outing either. I was on my way down to clear the main course when the young birthday girl walked passed me. I assumed she was heading to the bathroom. Turns out she had spotted some of her friends loitering with intent outside the bar and wanted to go say hello. No big deal I thought. But 5 minutes turned into 10 minutes which turned into 20 minutes. I made small talk with the abandoned mother. Thankfully the daughter returned but...

But only to collect her bag and coat. She got a better offer from her friends so she dumped her mother and split. I watched from a distance. The mother was gob smacked to say the least. I was fucking gob smacked. Given the chance I know who I would have smacked in the gob. She wasn't angry, she didn't shout, she was just left sitting there in a state of disbelief on her own in a quiet restaurant. I moved in. The woman was distraught. Distraught women are a speciality of mine. Tears were welling in her eyes. She explained the situation and ordered a coffee. I offered sympathy and a liqueur coffee to ease the pain. Five minutes later she asked for the bill. If I could have I would have comp'd the lot for her but my powers are limited, that is to say I have no powers. Thankfully she remembered to tip in the midst of this emotional family crisis. There would have been more than her in tears otherwise.

But what a selfish, nasty, horrible thing to do to your mother. You just wouldn't do it would you?

Would you?

If that was my daughter she would be dead to me now. God I hope they turfed her out on her ass the next day.


Shove it mummy,
I'm going on the lash with the lads...

29 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

angela said...

wow, that little girl needs her ass kicked. poor mom :[

Old Knudsen said...

I thought this story was going to end with them making out.
I don't see the problem, the Ma was obviously very boring and the teen getting her presents was already a cert.

Stupid parents, you always keep teens guessing, keep the bastards insecure.

Maybe you were giving off yer creepy vibe, young weemen pick up on that.........So I've heard.

Medbh said...

What a fucking bitch! Look, if it was just her birthday celebration that would be one thing to let her teen rudeness slide, but to duck out on a shared mom/daughter birthday dinner.
How low.
She could have met her friends after.

MacDara said...

She sure sounds like a bitch but She is young and will learn some day what its like to have that happen to you.

I am surprised you got a tip given how bad the mother must have been feeling.

Manuel said...

Angela: ass needs kicked until her next birthday

Old Knudsen: How well you know me...

Medbh: I was gutted for her mother, I mean I really felt for her

Manuel said...

Macdara: She is a regular customer, and like I say distraught teary women are my speciality.

Conortje said...

Oh how mean of her! I feel like taking my mum out for dinner now! Not an easy task seeing as we're in different countries.

tallulahbloom said...

It is a awful thing to do but you know what as a teenager I was pretty horrible to my Mum, you just don't think. I still feel guilty for the way I was I think I will go call her now . . .

JD said...

Well, pretty shattering for the mother. But in my imagination the daughter wakes her up the next morning with chocolates and flowers, offers to buy her mother lunch with her hard-earned pennies, they come to your place and Mum walks out halfway through for an appointment with her therapist.

gimme a minute said...

Ha! Welcome to the real world, people.

The daughter stayed for just about the whole meal, right? I have real trouble getting my girls to stay at the table after their nightly starter of deep fried brie unless of course we're having deep fried brie as a main too.

The mother is either a massive fucking drama queen or she has some deeply unrealistic expectations with regard to the behaviour of teenagers. Did she think that they were going to go out clubbing afterwards? Take what you can get, I say.

paddy said...

You're a gentleman Manuel I always said it.
Yes, I think most kids are of the same ilk (I sound like my mother and father did) these days. I guess they have to have a little more experience- no doubt some get the experience early and appreciate the finer things- the simple things in life....I guess it's all relative, and all you can do is what you did for them at the time your best.
As someone said: "don't be sorry for the shoe-shine boy. He'll be the one to become a rich business man when you are still struggling day to day to get by.
Y;-) Paddy

Manuel said...

Conortje: it's the thought that counts

tallulahbloom: maybe it's a female thing...

JD: yes, yes I like it

Gimme: Hard ass man, too hard

Manuel said...

Paddy: Kids, you cant even beat em anymore....

sheepworrier said...

What a fookin selfish, spoiled brat!
Maybe I wasn't the model kid when i was a teenager, but i had enuf respect for my parents and enuf savvy to realise when they were doing something nice for me to just sit there and be polite, no matter how shite i thought it was.

Swear to god - had this discussion many times with potential missus sheepworrier, but a scalp evry now and again wuldnt go amiss if ever I had kids... last resort, obviously. If they cant understand reason, what options are you left with? The naughty corner psycho-babble stuff only works up 2 a point.

Sorry for the lenght of this Manuel (oo er missus!), but it gets my back up.

Manuel said...

Sheepworrier: There's beating them and there's beating them The threat of a beating was enough in my house when I was a child. You wouldn't have even considered doing such a thing....

sheepworrier said...

Oh I agree, im talkin about a smack round the legs or sumthing. Scared the bejesus outta me!
Took a few proper digs in my time tho as well, but i definately deserved them.

EmmaK said...

Ah Manuel, you really are a white knight in shining armor aren't you. And while what the daughter did was self-centred I know I would have done the same back when I was sixteen.

Steve said...

You can't use the "well, that's teenagers for you" excuse for everything. That crosses the line from being an angsty adolescent to a cold-hearted bitch. I'm sure she'll grow out of it. Actually, never mind, she might not. I know some people personally who are still cold-hearted bitches long after their teenage years have ended.

fatmammycat said...

I left my mother in a lift one time. we were having one of out 'to-dos' so rather than argue the whole afternoon with her I just let the door close on her and her relentless prattle and went back to my apartment. My sister still dies laughing about it.
But I wouldn't leave her in a restaurant on her own like that, that kid is a filthy bad mannered oik.

James UK said...

That really is a shame leaving her mother like that.

However, it can go both ways, and I've had the misfortune to be in the same sorts of situations and been "dropped" by my parents.

Anonymous Boxer said...

I thought this was going to end with them having a huge fight and your lovely cake being tossed in a food fight.

This is much worse.

AND, for the record, NO, I would never have done this. Especially a Mother.

May I add... I never would have done such a thing, because I was raised with manners and respect?

savannah said...

i feel for the mom, but i also know, she set up the behavior a long time ago...anon boxer had it right: manners learned early on and expected behavior stay with a person...but then again, i'm just back fr4om cali and the wedding! and a really cool time w/our kids ;)

you were lovely to be so kind to her...

Manuel said...

Sheepworrier: I remember getting smacked once, just once, didn't like it, decided I would be avoiding getting another...

Emmak: It's like my superpower, the ability to detect and deal will women in distress....

Steve: The voice of sanity...

FMC: Bad daughter....hehehehe though

JamesUK: But you're 43! (maybe I don't know)

Anonymous Boxer: That's it! Manners and respect. I did bad things as a kid but something like that? Never...

Savannah: Welcome back! Very good point, but we cant blame parents for everything...

Enda P said...

I had a rather, em, eventful weekend and was feeling a tad blue as the working week began. And this bloody story came back to me and made me feel wretched.

Damn you and your evocative writing.

Manuel said...

I'm just here to help. I like to share the pain! Evocative writing? Now there's a first!

yoyo said...

Being a teenager is no goddam excuse to be so rude!!
I was a generally miserable unhappy generic teen, but I allways ALLWAYS had respect for my mum.
I mean, how hard is it to say 'thankyou' 'please' and know that there are some things you just DO NOT DO?!

This makes me feel really awfull. :(

I'm going to go phone my mum.

Manuel said...

tell her I said "hi"!

iamnot said...

To date, I've married two women that may very well have started out like that daughter.
They don't all grow out of it.

Sad story, well told.
Thanks for the depressing preview of life with teenage kids.

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