Saturday, 23 June 2007

Some girls cannot stay away from the Manuel


All roit der Manuel?


Had Sammy, sorry that's Ms Samantha Mumba to you oiks, in for lunch today. Not the first time she has used food as an excuse to come visit me. But that's just the way it is. You get served by Manuel and 2 and a half years to three years later you come running back for more. She tried to pretend she didn't remember me but I could see she was all a quiver and slightly nervous as she placed her order. She was just playing it cool.

But when she insisted on sitting on my lap for the entire meal whilst gently bouncing and singing her greatest hits I had to say,

"Mumba, your not on! I'm a human being with feelings and emotions. I'm not, just, sexy man eye candy for you to undress with your eyes. I have other customers and they deserve my time too. Now eat your goujons and stop the begging. Your causing a scene."

Ha! Now that told her. Probably why she didn't tip.....

8 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Eddie Waring said...

So you don't consider her sitting in your lap whilst gently bouncing and singing her greatest hits a tip?

I'd take that over 15% any day.

ellie said...

You have such a hard life! The woman virtually prostituting herself for a taste of your goujouns!

fatmammycat said...

Ha, did she sing you a medley of her greatest hit?
I feel sorry for that girl I really do, all that ambition and not a shred of talent. Puddy can act better. Puddy can sing better, and if she wasn't so old and overweight-and also a cat- Puddy could probably get more people to turn up to Vicars Street to watch her perform.

EmmaK said...

It must be hard being one the sexiest waiters out there. I know full well how Samantha feels, I'd be dribbling all over my goujons too if you were servicing er serving me....sorry, I got carried away with a sex fantasy just then. Apologies.

Medbh said...

No tip?
A pox upon her house.

whyioughtta said...

Bouncing gently on your lap? Sounds like you were the one giving the tip.

Manuel said...

Eddie: She, like all customers, can do what they want as long as they leave folding cash on the table.

Ellie: For every ying there is a hairy faced yang with man hands...

FMC: MMMM if Purdy has a fine ass i'd serve her too

Emmak: No no, carry on...

Medbh: Yes was pissed at that. But made triple digits over the day. But next time she is in I'll let one of the lesser mortals deal with her.

WIO. Tip? Bouncing gently? All but dreams....

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