Thursday, 19 April 2007

Excuse me madam, I need to boke


mmmmmmmmuffin

A "girl" came into the restaurant on Monday wearing a pair of jeans 2 sizes too small and a t-shirt that exposed her midriff. The result of this satorial disaster was to force a layer of fat over over the top of her jeans. If you're Little Miss Manuel you can pull this off with absolute ease. If you are Bella Emberg you can't. Simple enough. Now I admit I am carrying an extra pound or two from Christmas (Christmas ten years ago) but thats why I resist the urge to share my "rolls" with the world. You shall never see me in a sleeveless vest thing. You shall never see me, lets be honest. Take this as a warning, we do talk about what you are wearing when you go out for dinner. We will crticise and judge you, awarding and and taking points off as we see fit.

I was clamouring for words to describe this hideousness, whilst fighting the urge to boke, when "Emily" walked past sniggering "muffin top". Nobody bitches about women as well as other women. It's good to learn new words.

bokemuffin

15 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Kav said...

Excellent. I'll save that and say it someday soon, as if it's my own. Muahahahaha.

whyioughtta said...

Yikes, that photo's more of a muffin-top/front-butt combo.

Andraste said...

As spring approaches, I'll be seeing more and more of this type of thing...add to it the slap, slap, slap of flip-flops, and you've got yourself a very unappetizing stew. Simmer and stir.

Hooray.

Old Knudsen said...

people see themselves as young and hot and dress accordingly, well I do anyway, let them dream and end up on blogs, they deserve it.

Conortje said...

Now I wonder what it would mean to call someone a chocolate chip muffin...

Fat Sparrow said...

The really sad thing is that the "Plus Size" shops here in America carry belly tops and low-rider jeans. Everything that you would wear if you were young and hot, in a size for the 400 lb. woman.

Manuel said...

Kav: Just be careful when and where you say it. Big girls punch. FACT.

wio: front butt, nice.

Andraste: me n you both. All thse fat sweaty feet slap slapping bout the place.

Old K: Young? Old? HA! Dream on.

Conortje: Big shit stain or if we are being kind, freckly.

Fat Sparrow: Good to see the fashion industry has a sense of humour.

Lula Bell said...

oh yeah, those camouflage trews really work..

Manuel said...

Shoulda camo'd the rest. Tarpaulin woulda been good.

Gosling unbound said...

Mind you I had to look twice at a teenage girl wearing a pearl necklace yesterday afternoon.
My Uncle Harvey was banned from Marks & Spencers for wearing a hoodie, but he's a Franciscan.

paddy said...

If you could lose weight writing on your blog: a lot of you, including yourself manuel would be skin and bones.
Maybe half, even quarter of the time off the posting and you'll be slim- trim-and-brim-ful-of-energy.
Y:-) Paddy.

The Editor said...

This muffin phenomenon, I can't understand it. Women are so concerned about how they look and yet can commit such a gaff of inelegance.

Perhaps it's deliberate?

Manuel said...

Gosling unbound: pearl necklace eh, i woulda strained for a second look

Editor: yes they all wanna be like manuel, which is a good look.

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Sarah said...

What's even worse than the ol' muffin top is a gunt.