The other "March of the Penguins"

If you want to witness one of the world's greatest natural migrations just hang around any city centre at about 3.05pm Monday to Saturday. Patricipants are often seen in pairs or small groups but quite often they are alone. They move fantastically quick, all heading in different directions, coffee shops, pubs, shops, bus stops etc. At first they are hard to spot on the crowded high streets as identifiable marks are usually covered. But there are a few tell tale signs to look out for. The apron, black shoes and trousers, cigarette and bag are all obvious signs of participants in this great movement of people. There may all so be a scruffy unkempt character with checked trousers, battered shoes, and lingering body odour. Ignore him, he is like the fly that follows elephants.

Like bears preparing for winter the participants in this migration have very limited time. So for the love of the sweet baby Jesus don't get in their way. Don't ask them if they want to help your charity or offer a subscription to your catalogue, unless you are offering free money stay away!! They will eat you whole. If you are in front of one in a queue you better have the right change or they will curse you out right there and then in front of everyone.

The whole event is over within a half hour and the streets are safe again. There is a nocturnal migration but that is a different story for a different day.

Split shifts suck and time is precious, stay out of the waiters way!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!