The Mapping of the Waiter's Brain...
The scientific team here at Well Done Fillet have, without a doubt, just completed their most important work to date, The Mapping of the Waiter's Brain. Inspired partly by the mapping of a Cat's Brain and partly by the cruel and snide remarks of chefs and managers that all waiters ever think about is tips, our crack team of scientists spent untold minutes scanning and cataloguing the medulla oblongata of about 25 waiters. They were lured here with the promise of 15% wine, a hot meal and £15.00 in cash. The results were startling....
you really will need to clicky to make biggy....Professor Hans Thatdodishes noted,
"Whilst tips do clearly form the central basis of the average waiter's brain we can see that there are many other lobes, glands and cortexes all playing a vital part in making waiters the fun and lovable scamps they are. And if we only knew how to remove the "you guys" blockage then maybe just maybe the world of waiting, restaurants and dining out in general would be a much more wholesome and pleasant experience. But we don't so "You guys", will just have to deal with it. Also the "cortex of nagging regret" is suppressed at all times with a cocktail of wine, whiskey and tax free loot. The short fuse is most likely to be blown when parties arrive late, usually within the last half hour of service, and state that they wish to have some,"late supper". This can lead to much swearing and an almost complete closing of the Commitment Spot. The short fuse can also be triggered by tardiness, poor tipping, rudeness, drunk chefs, drunk with power managers actually the list was infinite."
Thank you Professor Hans Thatdodishes! Your work is vital and one day will be rewarded with the Nobel Prize (once we get that little Korean difficulty sorted eh). The professor has already started work on his next project, The Mapping of a Guest's Brain. He is looking for volunteers who will work for a £6.95 voucher for a one course dinner, free dessert coupon and the change in his pocket. Already there are 15,000 applicants. Work on the mapping of a Chef's Brain will start after that. [You can insert your own joke here]
