Coming this Fall on WDFTV...

Oi Trumper, do one

Manuel's got it covered...

I've been watching and loving The Restaurant on BBC2. It's essentially The Apprentice but for budding restaurateurs and has thankfully none of the bad hair do's and shite catch phrases. Over the last 8 weeks 9 couples have competed for the fantastic opportunity to work with Raymond Blanc, the eventual prize being a restaurant of their own financially backed and supported by Monsieur Blanc. The final episode is this week. I am working of course thanks to Keith Urban(e) playing nearby and the restaurant being busier than normal on a Wednesday night. But LMM will record it for me, or there'll be trouble. (You gonna take the love away? Oh no boo hoo hoo. HA! - LMM)

This programme impressed me as it focused on the service as much as the food, which is very unusual. The waiters in most of these types of shows are nameless blanks or are set up for a bollocking from the celebraty chef so that they look tough and hard. They never show the waiter giving it back to the pompous cooker jockeys. It must have happened at least once.

There aren't enough waiters on TV. I'm not advocating the rise of the celebrity waiters, but we do deserve more than we currently get. That in mind I have decided to "air" my own (twisted) reality TV show.

Eight trainees must serve it out over the next 8 weeks to see who will become THE WAITER and secure themselves a glamourous position working alongside Manuel! The trainees will have to serve interesting celebrity guests and the general public alike with style, class, professionalism and good humour under the ever watchful eye of Manuel. Cash is king and the trainees with the lowest amount of tips earned each week will be put to the public vote and lose their chance to be (pause for dramatic effect) THE WAITER! Can you wait?

The first episode will "air" on Thursday 12am(GMT) and there will be 2 episodes a week. Full details will follow over the next day or two including the list of eight contestants, and details of the behind the scenes show that will uncover what goes on when the cameras go off. THE WAITER will be a cross between Big Brother and The Apprentice but for aspiring waiters. Each of the trainees will share a cramped living space which will accurately reconstruct the living conditions of your average struggling waiter.

Will there be waiter friends by the end of the 6 weeks? Will anyone have the skills to impress Manuel? What will happen when 8 contestants with large personalities have to share a small living space? Sex, lies, and service cloths, THE WAITER has it all.....

(p.s. any TV executives interested in buying the rights to this show can email me at seriouslyitcouldbeahit@wdftv.com)