Sunday, 1 February 2009

Play the sad songs.....

"What the fuck is that noise?.....ugh....", I asked to no one in particular and pulled the pillow over my head. It was 6.48am on a Sunday morning so I hadn't been expecting any noise, who would be? I discounted it as nothing more than the hullaballoo of some nighttime delusion or dream.

But as I settled my gargantuan dome back under the pillow I realised what the noise was that had shattered my sleep.

"Oh no......no no no", I was filled with dread and fear, my heart was racing. I knew who the call was from and I knew what it meant as sure as I knew my name was Manuel.

I sat upright, calm, strangely calm. I pushed the redial button without looking at the screen. A broken voice, faltering, teary, picked up.

"Hey..."

"She's away...."

"Right....", my heart sank....

"At half five. Poor love."

"Yeah.....fuck......awh.......sake.......You talk to dad yet?"

"Not yet, I'll phone him now. You okay? You want to come over?"

"Yeah......eh......yeah I'm okay. I need to get the dishes done."

"The dishes?"

"Yeah...they are piling up a bit. Phone me in a bit."

My mum has gone and my heart is broken and in a instance I am a eight year old boy looking for his mother on his birthday......

108 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Masquerade said...

I'm so sorry Manuel. Our thoughts and love are with you.

verona said...

I'm sorry for your loss. It's a sucky time of year to lose somebody. Though I know there's not a good time of year for that.

gimme a minute said...

Sorry for your trouble. You're in our thoughts.

Twenty Major said...

Sorry dude, been there. The dishes thing, it's weird. Stupid things seem important. They are important. They get you through.

Take care.

ninetyninewords said...

Sorry to hear that. I'm sure you've rehearsed it a few times in your head but it's always different when the day arrives.
Dig out the good memories.

Mudflapgypsy said...

My heartfelt condolences to you Manny.

Anthony McG said...

So sorry to hear that. My condolences.

savannah said...

i am so sorry for your loss, sugar! you have the thoughts and prayers of all our krewe! xoxox

Michelle said...

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. Please know that you are in my thoughts.

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Manuel my sincere condolences. Your loss is felt.

Mr. Moose said...

You have my sympathy, Manuel. Let the grief come and remember the good times - give thanks.

Allison said...

So, so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my thoughts.

witchypoo said...

You are in my heart, Manuel. It was years before I could even write a post about my mum after she died. I was also embarrassed when I would turn into a snotbag in public places because nobody knew why I was crying.
I hope you can cry whenever and wherever you need to.

ImplodingBellybutton said...

I've read your blog for a long time, now, but never commented before. I hope I can offer a bit of comfort - I lost my mom when I was 18. You have my deepest condolences. It will get easier, and it will get better. Even though it may seem unbelievable now, time really does help heal.

d@\/e said...

Thinking about you. Take care!

supernana said...

So sorry Manuel.

Rob said...

I'm sorry for your loss Manuel. Thinking of you and yours.

Take care, eh?

Killer said...

I'm so sorry for your loss

elly parker said...

There aren't really words are there... so, simply *hugs*

Hope to see you at the blog awards.

daisy mae said...

i'm sorry manuel - you're in my thoughts.

The Hangar Queen said...

My heart goes out to you Manuel.I completely get the dishes thing as well.

In our thoughts.All of you.

dethmama said...

I'm sorry, Manuel. I hope you're OK. The dishes... yes I understand.

Poet said...

My condolences. A mother lost is an angel lost.

From a long time reader, first time commenter.

RedLeeroy said...

Manuel, sorry for your loss. Look after yourself.

Red

paddy said...

So sorry for your loss sir. I'll be thinking of you mate.

Belfast taxi driver said...

So So sorry no matter what age we are theres few things sadder that the loss of a parent.

Amy said...

So sorry for your loss!

seraphin said...

Ah, jesus. So sorry to hear about your mum Manuel. My thoughts are with you

livesbythewoods said...

It's all been said, but I will say it again anyway. So very sorry to hear of your loss.

Medbh said...

Manuel, I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mother.
We send our deepest condolences to you and your family.

Sharon said...

I'm so very sorry to hear this Manuel. Losing your mother hits hard. My sincere condolences to you, you sister and dad.
Much love.

Martin said...

So very sorry Manuel, a heartbreaker.

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

So sorry for your loss Manuel. (hugs)

Lorraine

BecAus said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you're doing okay. And dishes definately help, but remember to have some time to grieve. Thoughts and love are with you mate.

Niall said...

very sorry to hear that. its one of the few instances where words are little comfort. thinkin about u man

five tomatoes said...

Manuel, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

Looby said...

Sorry for your loss. Thinking of you

Lizzy J said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Manuel. I wish you peace & strength for the road ahead.

MJ said...

A big warm hug to you, Manuel.

My mum's been gone a long time but her spirit lives on and I think of her every day.

May you find comfort from those around you.

Pete in Az. said...

Dam, that sucks.


Sorry man.

daisyfae said...

so sorry... this is truly the part of growing up that sucks. even when we know it's coming, it's crushing. take care...

The Mutant said...

Aw, shit.

Nothing I can say is going to do a lot for you, I know, but know that I'm thinking of you and your family at this awful time.

Remember, if you need us - any of us, at any time at all you just let us know.

Nathan said...

I've never commented before but i ahve been following your blog for over a year. Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you, sorry for your loss.

Tuesday Kid said...

Manuel. I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you mate.

Sherry QuiteContrary said...

Oh Manuel. I'm so sorry. *hugs*

Microsupreme said...

I'm very sorry to hear that :(

Boxer said...

No one can ever love us, like our Mothers.

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

Be kind to yourself. xoxo.

Echo said...

My deepest sympathies. No matter your age, the loss of a parent breaks your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

toast said...

look after yourself lad.

t.

purplegirl said...

Oh Manuel, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

DeepRed said...

I've never left a comment here before...I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, Manuel. I know that sounds like empty words, but lots of people are thinking about you and sending good vibes your way *hugs*

Lottie said...

My thoughts are with you M.

Conan Drumm said...

So, so sorry to hear that news, Manny. I held my own mother's hand as she left this world. My condolences to you, and to all your family.

Red said...

I'm so sorry Manuel. x

chendaberry said...

I'm so sorry, Manuel. My thoughts are with you. xx

Daily Spud said...

So sorry Manuel, take care and mind yourself now...

missjones said...

Very sorry for your trouble Manuel, my sympathies to you and yours.

Datsuncog said...

Aw man. So sorry to hear that. Reaching out through the cyber-void with hugs... thoughts and prayers of so many are with you.

Kelly said...

I am very sorry. My sympathy to you and your loved ones.

NextSeatOver said...

Manuel, I am so sorry for your loss. You have my sincerest condolences.

conortje said...

Indeed I know how you feel. Thinking of you.

Albany Jane said...

My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Georgina said...

So sorry to hear of your loss

Stephan said...

You have my deepest sympathy, Manuel. You'll be in my prayers.

AnFearBui said...

So sorry Manuel,condolences to you & yours.

upset waitress said...

I'm so sorry Manuel. :(

Old Knudsen said...

I'm sorry lad.

Grammy G said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

sbastin said...

My heart breaks for you.

Lizzie Dreaming said...

Oh Manuel, you poor thing. I am sorry to hear you have had such sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Jill said...

Manuel, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a couple of those early morning phone calls too, where you just know what the bad news is going to be. My thoughts are with you.

raptureponies said...

Sorry to hear about it Maneul.

Take care of yourselves.

Ms. McDermott said...

So, so sorry Manuel.
Living 6,000 miles away from my homeland, I dread the middle-of-the-night phone call. So far I've had two, the next one will be for my Mama.
I can honestly say that I feel your pain...

eguinan said...

So sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you.

Vicky Rogers said...

hi there

So sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you at this tough time. If it helps if you need to talk im just an email away.

american.eejit said...

I am so sorry for your loss Manuel, and so saddened to read your post. There is nothing that I or anyone else can say at this time that could somehow console you.

But it does truly warm my own heart to see how many of your readers have reached out to put a hand on your shoulder.

silverstar98121 said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Manuel. I know it hurts as my dad is dying at the moment, too. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Manuel, first time i've commented, but I am sooo sorry for your loss.
PLease take care of your self, I know that right now you won't give a flying F but you need to think of you. I was in the same position 3 months ago, it's crappy.
Love and hugs to you and yours,
Mandy, Reading xx

Simon said...

Commiserations Manuel... thoughts are with you.

SPDT2 said...

So sorry to hear this Manuel, every sympathy.

Dave said...

Sorry, man.

Ellie said...

So sorry

Captain Smack said...

I'm sorry, Manuel. Hang in there, buddy.

fred said...

sorry for your loss

Satine said...

Manuel, im so sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you. Take care x

Rosie said...

sorry to hear it, Manuel, a chroí. take good care of your dad.

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

Manuel, I'm so sorry.
"She's away" is such a nice way of saying it.
And there's always dishes, always.

Mrs. Toast said...

so sorry Manuel... that post made me cry... condolences to you, and big hugs...

Anonymous said...

Very sorry, take good care.

Frank B said...

No matter how expected it is, it's never really expected. Take care of yourself.

Common Law said...

I'm really sorry for your loss and hope you're doing ok. And the dishes....when my dad died all I could think to do was feed the cat. It seemed really important.

B said...

damn, sorry...

nicely written post.

Manuel said...

thank you......

Amit said...

Dear Manuel,

I have been a silent reader of your blog from some time, and it has given me immense pleasure. I live in India.

Please know that you are in the prayers of a lot of people as in mine. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

Amit

Native Minnow said...

Manuel, I am so very sorry.

waxydan said...

I'm sorry for such a loss. Take care of yourself and yours

Evil Twin said...

I'm so sorry, thinking of you and yours x

sheepworrier said...

Apologies that I'm so late commenting - really sorry to hear about your loss Manuel.

Kelly the chef said...

Manuel:
I'm sorry for your loss. Both mine are now gone, I lost my own mother just a while ago. I will spare you any more of the platitudes you've read and heard a million times by now.
Everyone here has already said it better than I could anyway. I'm a cook, not a poet.
Be well.

Sniffle said...

Sorry for your trouble.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I'm sorry to hear that.

All the best.

English Mum said...

Manuel, my darling, hugs for you. My sentiments are late, but heartfelt xx

jen said...

I'm so very sorry, Manuel. Hope you and the family are doing ok.

xxx

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Manuel.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a hanam.

Jenny Ní B

problemchildbride said...

Oh, Manuel, I just read this. It must hurt so badly. I'm sorry, sweetheart. May comfort and peace soon come to you.

How lovely your mum looks in that photo!

love
Sam

Manuel said...

again everybody thank you....

Green Of Eye, Sharp Of Claw said...

Manuel,i'm so sorry for your loss.I'm sending you and yours positive energy.

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