Monday, 8 December 2008

Jebus wept, I wept, the chef went nanas.....

Suicide by cop is a suicide method in which a person deliberately acts in a threatening way, with the goal of provoking a lethal response from a law enforcement officer, such as being shot to death. So says wikipedia, so it must be true.

Suicide by waiter is a suicide method in which a person deliberately acts in an boorish and uncouth manner, with the goal of provoking a lethal response from a waiter, such as being stabbed to death with a rusty stabbing fork that the waiter keeps in his apron for such occasions. So says me, Manuel, thus making it not only true but the law.

Fucking ketchup with sea bass, get away and shake yourself you undeserving cretin.

32 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

daisyfae said...

not even Dijon Ketchup? oh the horror... THE HORROR!

Medbh said...

That is the single most disgusting food combo I've ever heard, Manuel.
The death sentence makes perfect sense.

Manuel said...

daisyfae: when I went back to the table to clear it the chap told me he didn't use the ketchup......total liar, he just smoothed it out...

medbh: beautiful delicate fish with a blob of frigging ketchup on top.....so so bad....

Echo said...

Ketchup and fish ? *gag*

Even my unsophisticated palate is recoiling at the thought.

**shudders**

Why would anyone want to smother fish in ketchup ? That is just soooo wrong. . .

Silverstar said...

It is a crime only slightly worse than that committed by The Boyo of putting ketchup on his macaroni and cheese. He can get away with that with the Kraft crap, but if I make it from scratch, I have a whole set of knives to use.

harried_dad said...

My kids will eat almost anything so long as it is smothered in ketchup.

Maybe he doesn't like fish, but his Doctor told him he had to, and so he resorted to his childhood defence mechanism....

Heinz Red was the only way that you were getting me to eat brussel sprouts when I was a little un.

savannah said...

i am weeping in the reading of such an odious act, sugar!

MJ said...

Must have been a Canadian.

We have Ketchup crisps here for fuck’s sake…or Ketchup Potato Chips as we call them.

The Hangar Queen said...

It puts the ketchup on the fish.

It gets the rusty stabbing fork in the carotid.

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Manuel...that is disgusting.Enough said.

Sherry QuiteContrary said...

Yuck. How old was he? 3? Yanno kids will eat anything covered in ketchup... ;)

blue said...

that is wrong...but i've seen worse
ketchup on a ceasar salad. check!
mustard on tortilla chips. check!
vinegar on chicken strips. check!

the world is full of weirdo's as such!

fledgling chef said...

Revolting. I generally use ketchup on burgers and hot dogs, and sometimes meatloaf, but never in fine restaurants, and never ever on fish.

Manuel said...

echo: well battered fish maybe but not sea bass.....

silverstar: heeheehee nice....

dad: kids eh.....

savannah: it was so so odious....

mj: oh you canadian with your funny ways and dodgy crisps and weird accents and bum fetishism's...

hangar queen: bwahahahahaha love it....

steve: correct....

sherry: oh I'd say about 45....

blue: welcome blue! some people need smacked hard......

fledgling chef: yes, I'm all for ketchup but in the right place and on the right food.....

sheepworrier said...

Ah fuggit, he probably paid an extortionate amount of money for his food, so why not eat it with whatever condiments he so desires? Yes I know it'll ruin the delicate flavours, but its his choice.

Im tired, grumpy and hungover btw.

Conan Drumm said...

Loup du Mer with ketchup?!!

I suggest you develop a waterboarding technique with ketchup for such occasions. Squirting it up both nostrils should achieve the required result.

Crispy said...

Did he ask for ketchup or "red sauce"? What a twonk!!
My wains aren't allowed ketchup on the table unless chips are being served, they even prefer sweet chilli sauce with their pizza. It's well seeing, their your neice and nephew ha ha.

Red Leeroy said...

palette problem. A big one.

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

I love ketchup. There isn't a flavour in the world that ketchup can't improve. There. I said it.

Manuel said...

sheepo: no. no you are wrong.....as was he...lucozade and sausage roll will cure you, if you can find a sausage roll that is. I've just been denied one in clements and am quite miffed.....

conan: bwahahahaha that's fucking ace

crispy: the former, the cunt....good childer

leeroy: fork in throat problem too

sexy pedestrian: welcome, you're wrong but welcome all the same....

sheepworrier said...

Prob best avoiding the piggy goodness of the sausage roll at the moment manuel...

Manuel said...

sheepo: never! I wants my pork!!!!

MJ said...

It's 8:30 am in my part of the world and I'm digging in to a nice big plate of BACON and eggs.

Manuel said...

mj: i'm gonna cry for a bit.....

MikeTheWaiterDotCom said...

ah manuel, you have discovered one of my favorite and most used words in the restaurant.... cretin! It is so, so descriptive.
peace, mtw

Manuel said...

mtw: it says everything.....!

Old Knudsen said...

Ketchup? whats yer problem mate? did you move into Upper Malone and becum someone important?

If I find out that Heinz ketchup is by royal appointment I'll knock yer shite in.

English Mum said...

My children consistently piss me off by smothering my lovingly created home-made food in dollops of Heinz's finest.

He'd have got my wooden spoon round his ear'ole and no mistake.

Kapitano said...

I've heard worse.

But seeing as the worse was chocolate ice cream and fried egg...yes.

Heinz should do a fishpaste in a bottle, for squirting over tomatoes.

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

Eeeeeeeuuuu!! We've had a few ourselves:

banana on pizza
coleslaw on spaghetti bolognese and spaghetti meatballs
tuna and pineapple sandwich
tuna and chicken sandwich

YUK!

BEAST said...

Now come on boys and girls , had it been Tomato salsa drizzled in virgin olive oil and shavings of something you would all be drooling . splattered tomatoes are splattered tomatoes
***runs away before he gets stabbed***

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