Saturday, 13 December 2008

I chose not to choose life.....

Choose life.
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.
Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments.
Choose a starter home.
Choose your friends.
Choose leisure wear and matching luggage.
Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future.
Choose life...

I chose not to choose life, I chose waiting tables. Which is sort of like heroin but not as skanky and the money's better waiting tables than being a junkie but everything else is the same.

25 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

dave said...

Manuel.....

Are you on drugs?

Sniffly&Cry said...

For what it's worth, I'm okay with whatever you choose.

daisyfae said...

perhaps it's time to choose a therapist?

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Hear Hear...I don't have dental insurance.

purplegirl said...

"Choose" doesn't even look like a work anymore .... ;)

Trekkie said...

A Friday before Christmas post. Courage, me'hearty. 'Tis nearly over.

eguinan said...

There you go. Busiest day over and done with now....

paddy said...

Choose fools who can't hold their booze.

Choose punters who put Heinz finest on fillet steak.

Choose people who order wine by sweetness.

Choose dealing with people who bully you beacause they are powerless in their own careers and personal lives.

Choose getting your arse pinched by old birds pissed on chardonnay.

Choose serving fuckers who don't tip or skip on the bill.

Choose serving aggressive cunts who want a fight after two sips of a pint.

Actually, fuck it. Heroin looks like a sensible option.

Conan Drumm said...

Like there ever was a 'choice'

Anonymous said...

What in the world kind of effed up, seventeen year old angst, in a bad poetry class was that?

Medbh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Medbh said...

Anon, let me politely give you a clue: Manuel was quoting a landmark film from the 1990s.

The Hangar Queen said...

Fuck 'em Manuel.This is your call.You're also still here to tell us about it.Thank fuck.

@ Medbh,
Anon's clue total now stands at -1 after your kind donation.I hate to be mean but what the fuck? It's Christmas.Giving myself a treat.

Native Minnow said...

Hey, at least you didn't choose the wife that I chose. For that you should be thankful. I'm thankful that she's my ex. Especially today.

Tuesday Kid said...

I also didn't choose life. I don't see why people think it sounds all that great.

Tuesday Kid said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manuel said...

anon: twat.....hehehehe

psychoknitter said...

You and I feel the same about our jobs this season.

At least you have interesting stories to tell.

red leeroy said...

. Manuel. Combine the two. H and waiting tables. That would make for some mouth watering blogging.

markd said...

manuel,

First time I have been compelled to respond. About week 5-8 in non-smoking you lose your brain. This only lasts 3 weeks and then you are fine. This happens every time no matter how many times you quit. Hang in and do not feel bad no matter what. You are hilarious and bring much joy to many people.

One time I quit, yes about 5 times now, I went to an important meeting and finally announced-forgive me I quit smoking a few weeks ago and do not seem to be able to think.

savannah said...

well, ok then, sugarpie! xoxoxo

banquet manager said...

After reading your blog, I don't know what the hell I choose anymore.
Take care & Merry Christmas.
So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager

A.C said...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=j7OTHnXwr_s

Lisa said...

Wow, that sounds like my weekend. Except for the electrical can opener. I may need to get out more. Or start smoking *hahaha*

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