Tuesday, 23 December 2008

"Clear a path! I'm going home!" soon.....

And on the Last Day of Christmas my truelove gave to me, and I swear somebody is taking the piss, a restaurant full of bed wetting, overly sensitive, most likely vegetarian, mentalist sentimentalist Coldplay fans.

Are you fucking trying to provoke me?

Are you trying to make me stab someone?

Sake. And I have a shitty cold.

One day to go, one short service full of muppets. I hate Coldplay and all they stand for. Apparently they release yellow balloons filled with glitter during some song or other, Clocks I think. Awh how nice. Cunts. I hope somebody fills them with anthrax, that'd teach them.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of moaning about being tired. I cant even sleep on in the morning as the Landlord is sending a chimney sweep round first thing to sweep the chimney, obviously. Chimney sweep? What is this, the 1950's?

This post was brought to you with bitterness and exhaustion and a deep seated hatred of Coldplay. I've said this before but it bears repeating, "Coldplay. Music for men who cry when they masturbate." Boo hoo hoo....

I promise a proper post tomorrow, The Well Done Fillet Review of Christmas.

22 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Boxer said...

***pours cold medicine into Manuel's tea and sneaks out 'cuz I think he's gonna blow***

xoxox.

Manuel said...

boxer: soon.....

Conan Drumm said...

"Chim-chiminee, chim-chiminee, chim-chim-cheroo..."

Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins... not a coldplay in earshot!

Manuel said...

conan: and isn't the world a better place?

Michelle said...

Coldplay...one of the most over-rated bands ever. And so VERY annoying.

Native Minnow said...

I just had to read your slogan for Coldplay to my roommate. He laughed too.

MJ said...

*tucks popped vein back into the waiter's neck*

Manuel said...

michelle: oh god yes.....

minnow: it's both apt an accurate....which is probably the same thing

mj: oh it's out again....fucking neighbour woman is having a fucking party...am I destined to never sleep?

echo said...

Hot toddy to help with both your cold and sleeping problems ?

Good luck making it through till the end.

Dealing with rabid retail customers tomorrow myself.

**crawls away, softly whimpering**

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

Hang in there Manuel..But a chimney sweep on the 23rd! Maybe the landlord is making it comfy for Santa to slide down the chimney to bring the presents.

psychoknitter said...

Oh, I am so uncool. I like Coldplay! And I don't cry when I...umm...nevermind.

Anyway dear, go put on some Joy Division, crack open a bottle of something strong, and stew stew stew!

xo

eguinan said...

Oh you do make me ROFL when you're tetchy! Love the Coldplay assessment.

Hope you and LMM have a great Christmas!

Mudflapgypsy said...

relax....breathe...it'll all be over soon....

The coldplay comment, pure gold Manny, pure gold!!

Have a great Christmas and dream of big tips and pleasant customers.

Old Knudsen said...

I took a slash, I took a slash on you, and it was all yellow.

So you don't like Radiohead then?

harried_dad said...

whenever I have to deal with people who's taste in music annoys me, I hum kylie minogues locomotion - crap song but ridiculously effective at getting into people's heads and staying there.

Old k's lyrics are definitely better

Crisatunity said...

Live Life my friend.

daisyfae said...

so what's on the playlist for men who cry after they masturbate?

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

happy christmas Mr Manuel! :)

Medbh said...

Your take on Coldplay reminds me of Naomi Watts' character in the truly awful David Lynch movie.
*shudder*

Tuesday Kid said...

ha ha ha ha ha

Music for men who cry when they masturbate. That's so true.

Manuel said...

tuesday kid: you should have seen them.....[shudder]

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