Monday, 8 September 2008

If a waiter falls in a forest....


If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

I don't know or care.

But...

If a waiter throws a tray of perfectly crafted cappuccinos over himself, soaking his little stubby legs and burning the crap out of his hand and no one is around to hear it, does he make a sound?

You can bet your sweet little ass he does! He squeals, shouts, and generally makes a mess of himself. And then makes the coffees again, but with less love.

So now you know.

26 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Anonymous said...

If a waitress is holding a tray of beverages and you touch her arm, the tray will fall on your head. She will apologize profusely, and then walk to the back to enjoy a good chuckle.

Manuel said...

anonymous: hehehehehehe

dave said...

Sorry to read about your 'incident'. Hope there weren't too many in the restaurant to witness it!

Manuel said...

dave: I was out of sight.....but maybe not sound....people looked at me as if I was a total nutter....

dave said...

Sure you are a fucking nutter, what are you on about! lol!

Manuel said...

dave: some people heard my profanities.......but my unrestrained face of rage kept them from asking how I was.....

Anonymous Boxer said...

I fell last week walking up my front walkway. No one saw me and that's the ONLY thing that made the skinned knee, torn jeans and my friend on the other of the phone that went flying yelling "WHAT HAPPENED?", OK.

Do what we do in the States; sue your employer.

Manuel said...

boxer: no it was all my fault.....trying to do too much at once......I moved a coffee and unbalanced the tray which hit the deck.....I was still behind the bar though.....

Medbh said...

Ouch.
Did you get the stains out of your shirt? It's a bitch to keep the white ones looking fresh.

Manuel said...

medbh: always bring a spare.....it;s the only way when you are as clumsy as me......but I couldn't shift the smell of milky bloody coffee......not pleasant......

Nica said...

That sucks. Especially since cappuccinos are so annoying to make in the first place. At least it wasn't in the middle of the dining room :D

Lottie said...

lol! Thank you Manuel - That's just what my dreary Monday morning needed! :)

fatmammycat said...

Ouch. Poor old sausage.

redleeroy said...

my friend had a similar, except it was piping hot soup and a short sleeved shirt and a clumsy old bag. This soup removed the skin from his wrist. The woman did not even tip.

Manuel said...

nica: thank fuckity fuck it wasn't.......that would have been too much......

lottie: I drop stuff and fall for others amusement.....

fmc:hello! hope you're good....

redleeroy: people can be so shit......

boy_wonder said...

I don't believe you wanted to do that.

Manuel said...

boy_wonder: no, well deduced....I did not want to that.....I will probably do it again....

Arthur C Boyle said...

How frightful. I suggest maybe it's due to a lack of vital vitamins and calcium in your diet. Bracing walks and the lifting of heavy weights, that's my advice.

Or get someone else to do it.

Maxi Cane said...

There's always a sound, usually from someone like me who has heard it ... ...

"Waaayyhaaayyy"

Echoes around the woods!

Sniffle&Cry said...

So not funny now. No laughter only empathy with the waiter. Hoping the burns were treatable and not near the crotchal region.

AnFearbui said...

Went to the hole in the wall pub in Dublin yesterday....quite impressed with the food but especially by the waiters. How do you put up with some of the mongs that come into the restaurant?
picture the scene...
Customer who fancies himself talking to attractive waitress..."where are you from.....Hungary? that's interesting....do you have a boyfriend?" (Anfearbui sighs)......."oh! you do.....he must be a Hungry man.." (Anfearbui dies a little)

Steven said...

What really bugs me is yes if I spill something over myself and scald the skin right off I have only myself to blame where at which point I mutter stupid profanities to myself , but it's when a waiter who bumps into me without looking where they are going and spills the drink that gets me really annoyed.I mean like now I have the other twenty things I have to do on hold just because of some idiot who wasn't watching where they were heading.

Mudflapgypsy said...

Oh aye, passing it off as an accident.

You still can't master the art of juggling cups of coffee.
Start with espresso and work your way up.
One day you will have 8 espressos rotating in midair, then and only then can you progress to the cappuccinos.

Do or do not, there is no try !

problemchildbride said...

Ouch!

Hope it was near the end of your shift. Milky coffee starts to smell sour after mere minutes on your clothes.

MJ said...

If it were your chubby bottom instead of your hand, I'd kiss it better.

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