Friday, 15 August 2008

Sleazy men and other problems.....

Men, eh, what can you say about them that hasn't already been said? Some really are just class acts and some are utter pond life. Take two incidents today for example....

greasy.......

I was enjoying the brief break in mother natures hostilities, in other words it wasn't raining, and living la vida loca. Okay I was having a coffee, but I was having it outside. This is as close as it gets to continental living in Belfast. The wee lad bedecked in a charming shell suit by Nike and black shoes ensemble and drinking White Lightening Cider from the bottle was slightly ruining the ambience but I decided to blot him out. Instead I imagined a tree. Then then there were three other trees and the tree started swearing and spitting so much so that I really couldn't pretend they were trees anymore.

Thankfully they moved on, only to be replaced by a Big Issue seller with big sad eyes wearing sandals and socks (which creeps me out) and a drunk Scottish man looking for money,

"Ne money fer meh? Eh laddie, ne money fer meh?"

I wasn't in a giving mood so off they trundled to harass a very confused looking Japanese couple, "Welcome to Belfast!" I thought. And to think we applied to be the European City of Culture.

But they aren't the point of todays post.

So I just sat there waiting for Little Miss Manuel to arrive and watched the citizens of Belfast dander by. A young man in his twenties sat at the next table to mine, he had a coffee and a dancing look in his eyes. He was a bit too jittery for my liking so I moved slightly so I could keep and eye on him. I pretended to be using my phone just incase he wanted to engage me in small talk. Manuel doesn't small talk for anything less than 15%.

At that I noticed a young woman walking towards us talking on her phone. I thought nothing off it and carried on with my mobile phone fiddling. But chummy beside me spotted her too, he spotted her and was helping himself to a big long horny look. She notice his leering face too. And as she got to where we where sitting she slowed down and into her phone shouted,

"....no hold on ma, SOME FUCKING PERV IS STARING RIGHT AT MY FUCKING TITS!"

And walked on. Hurrah for her!

Yer man nudges me whilst laughing like a fucking psycho. I went red. Me who hadn't done a fucking thing! I went red! everyone turns round including the Big Issues Seller and the drunk bum and thinks that I was the perv!

"Fucking cheers a-hole!" I says to yer man and up he gets and wanders off laughing like he's on crack. Which he very well may have been.

Fucking cracked up sleaze bag.

There was more sleazerie at work as well. I seated two Frenchmen, youngish, probably in their late 20's. They seemed nice enough. What can you tell in 30 seconds?

"Gents can I get you a drink?"

"Is you our way-ter?" asks the beardy one.

"Excuse me?"

"Vill you be serving us to-nyight?"

"Yes, is that okay?" I said, not that I gave a fiddlers fuck if it wasn't. They were in my section, so I was their waiter.

"Why cant she take ooooour ordyer?" ask the non-beardy but clearly horny one.

The two of them giggled like idiots and leered at my new work chum with very long sleazy gazes.

"She's nice eh?" says the beardy one and made gropy breast gestures with his hand. This cracked his chum up no end and then they both did it.

Now what was I to do?!

I lifted their menus and sent them on their way. They laughed like drunken sailors all they way out of the restaurant.

Fuck that, Pierre-verts.

29 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Fucking huzzah, Manuel!
Yes!
Once men start to draw a line at this shit then maybe we'll have an end to what women have to endure once they leave their homes.
Do they really think that it will get them laid or in women's good graces to eyeball them?
I think not.
It's blatant thuggery.

Anonymous said...

And men don't have to put with it too? tsh.

Manuel said...

medbh: thuggery is what it is.....

anonymous: there is no comparison....ever...

bendersbetterbrother said...

Fair enough on throwing the French boys out. In fact you'd have been within your rights for throwing them out just for being French.
Q. Why it is a good idea to take an instant dislike to a French person.
A. It saves time.

Men don't have a monopoly on inappropriate behaviour or talk though and you've been on the other end of it yourself. Think what the outcome would have been had a group of men grabbed a waitresses' sugarloaf?
Fisticuffs, flashing lights and sirens would be the order of the day, understandably. Other way round and it's generally accepted a woman copping a free feel is fair dos, or seems that way.
So feel free to lamp the next woman (or man) who lays a hand on your sugarloaf , in the spirit of equality. We'll send food parcels to you when you're on remand.

MJ said...

*pretends not to be leering at Manuel's sugarloaf and sits on hands*

paddy said...

I hate it when nuffies try and involve you in their sleaze. Or when they think because you are another guy you should be happy to watch them make your female staff feel uncomfortable. The look of surprise when you pick their drink up and tip it out while security drag them out the door is very satisfying though.

Simon said...

I'll be flying into your fair city a week today for a wedding on the Saturday... If my wife and I have one evening for dinner, where would you recommend? I know, you probably get this ALL the time, but indulge me... two people, one evening in Belfast - go!

Simon said...

Oh, I'll even post up a review on my blog about where we went and how good your advice was...

sheepworrier said...

Everyone is guilty of 'checking out' the opposite (or same) sex, but when it gets to leering and owl-like neck rotation then its just creepy. Fair play to that girl.
Simon - Spuds in shafetsbury square is a nice wee romantic location...

dave said...

Pierre-verts?

Oh come on Manuel! How long did you sit up thinking of that one!?

dave said...

Sheepo... I can't believe you'd send Simon to Spuds. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy!

The Idle Wanderer said...

I don't want to be the one to bring nationality into it, but I will. I have always found the Italians to be well versed in these base and vile activites.

I always believed a quick appreciative glance and a smile was the best approach, but the "GYTOFTL" brigade (that's "GET YOUR TITS OUT FOR THE LADS"), seem to have far more STD's than me.

For every girl who hates it, you will find 5 who believe that being attractive means that harrassment and molestation is their birthright. Around this neck of the woods, anyway.

Manuel said...

bbb: ah but it's all about intent/attitude....women rarely mean it in the same way as men...

mj: ohh er....

paddy: that's so true, the whole lads together thingy gets on my man boobs...

simon: try tedfords, ginger bistro, mourne seafood bar, but try and book them today!

sheepo: i literally laughed out loud.....

dave: come on now that's genius.....as is spuds

wanderer: i doubt any woman wants that sort of abuse......

Kitty Cat said...

Back when I was a shopgirl, the amount of male customers who had conversations with my tits was ridiculous. They are pretty nice tits, but thats not the point.

sheepworrier said...

Kitty - they had a conversation with your tits? Can your tits talk? Im disturbed.

Manuel said...

kitty: the dirty fookers

sheepo: but you've always been disturbed

NRG said...

Frenchman: "She's nice eh?"

You: "What, Brian? He normally only dresses like that at the weekend"

Frenchman: runs away of his own accord.

Blondefabulous said...

At University, I cannot tell you how many supposed young "gentlemen" looked to my cleavage first and my face second when being introduced at social functions! I thought it was just youth and inexperience, but after having gotten a bit older, men still introduce themselves to my breasts, and then look me in the eye! *sigh*

jen said...

I feel greasy just reading that. Fair play to the woman calling him out on it.

Used to work in a pool hall where the boss was always addressed his conversation directly to women's cleavage. Didn't seem to realise there was anything above that level. Ugh. He was a total creep for that and so many other reasons.

Old Knudsen said...

Just ge me some fucking money next time.
Let me guess the gurl had a low cut top on or a message saying, "my eyes are up here" and then she complains when people look, thats weemen for ya.

I get leered at by weemen all the time its the price you pay for being hot.

savannah said...

you are my hero, sugar! ;-) xoxo

Ali said...

You get bonus points for throwing the French guys out. Yeesh.

Good on ya for that one.

Anonymous Boxer said...

You're my hero. xoxo

Melissa said...

Cheese eating surrender monkeys.
Good on you for giving them the toss.

Native Minnow said...

Usually I'm the perv doing the staring.

Manuel said...

too tired.....back soon...

B said...

You could've applied to be the capital of culture and promised to force half the big issue sellers to wear the whole IRA kit, and the other half to dress like orange men... showcasing the wonderful culture or northern ireland.

fatmammycat said...

Fuck the pervs, fuck the obvious pervs even more. Bravo Manuel, bravo and indeed if I was near you I'd kiss you on both cheeks. Living in Spain was the ultimate test of street abuse and I was a nasty cunt to those who would dare cross me,-as some twats did, but boy oh boy were they cursed out of it. And boy oh boy to this day am I NOT sorry about it.

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