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Wednesday 27 August 2008

The death of a very rare species.....

I was casting my eye round the restaurant on Saturday night, ensuring all was well and there were no shenanigans afoot (Saturday night is prime time for shenanigans and shenanigans cousin, tomfoolery. I have no time for either on a Saturday night), when I noticed a peculiar phenomenon. It shocked me at first, I'm easily shocked it has to be said.

As I scanned the dining room I noticed all the men had one of three basic haircuts - bald/going bald, spice boy, and old man side shade. There was one obvious category missing, one huge important category not represented. I speak of course about curly. There were no curly bops. Not a hint of them. Not one perfectly curly man hair was to be seen, except that is on table 18. But that was just a fat lad with his very unmanscaped chest hair protruding from his shirt.

be brave bouncy brother
be brave.....


And the more I thought about it the more I realised that I haven't seen a decent head of curly man hair in ages, maybe even years. I asked the others if they knew any men with curly hair. Not one of them knew a man with a proud curly head of man hair. This cant be right I thought. Where are all the curly men? I mean there were three boys in my class at school with curly hair and that doesn't even count the guy who got a perm. Fuck he got it rough for a while, a very long while. I mean you just wouldn't do it would you? I still wonder if he was going through some sort of breakdown at the time. It's not normal for 15 year old teenage boys to get perms.

But where have all the curly bops gone? There was a resurgence of the Wafro after Napoleon Dynamite but this didn't last for long. And really the world doesn't need anymore white men pretending they are black, Robert Downey Jr aside.

Have they all succumbed to the pressure of modern styling? GHD, those enemies of curly hair, now produce a straightening iron for men. Now, why men need a device all of their own I'm not sure. Does the mens version come with little footballs on it and go faster stripes? But are the curly haired chaps afraid to come out in the open? Do they hide their lush bouncy hair under beenie hats and what have you? Do they worry about public/pubic ridicule? Or has Will Ferrell just ruined it for everyone?

I have no answer to these questions but unless someone answers them soon and deals with this crisis in the sphere of male grooming then the world will lose it's remaining curly bops within 12 to 18 months. Be brave curly men, be brave and step out with confidence. Let your hair bounce the way nature intended it. Worry not about the shorned masses with their non-hair style. You're unique and special, not like the slow lad from school who ate his crayons, but rather in a Taj Mahal kind of way. We miss you and we need you, so come back out and wear your unmanageable hair with pride!

So when did you last see an impressive head of curly man hair?

Eh?

When?

32 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Megan McGurk said...

C'mon, Manuel, you remember that Gimme has an impressive head of curly man hair, right?

Manuel said...

medbh: oh how did i forget that!!!

Megan McGurk said...

Well, the Irish Blog Awards were quite the whirlwind, weren't they?

Manuel said...

medbh: oh yes, not to be forgotten.....it's hard to detect sarcasm in comments.....

B said...

well, emos cant have curly hair as far as I know.

David Hasselhoff still has curly hair?

Rosie said...

i have a lot of curly-headed manfriends. they make me feel better about the state of my own mop.

Anonymous said...

My husband is a great father and goodlooking even with his curly head:P

paddy said...

i've got a big fat head covered in curly hair and to be honest, at least in Australia, it seems to be more common than it used to be. When I came out from Ireland as a little fella I got all manner of grief for my 'fro. Everyone else looked like Jason Donovan all blond spikey and straight haired. These days I see a lot more tousle haired kiddies about. Some even seem to be considered cool. I put it down to him out of Wolfmother.

Anonymous said...

Wander down to the DOY on a fri evening Manuel, and you'll see all Belfasts curly-bops gathered in one, extemely hairy place.

Lottie said...

May I direct you here - he's a big curly haired male blogger.

Feel better?

Silverstar said...

My BF, The Boyo, is all curly-haired all over. It's what I like about him. Among other things.

Manuel said...

b: and he's a let down cunt......

rosie: and that is their purpose in life.....

deb: awh it's nice that you can look past it...

paddy: maybe everybody eats their crusts in OZ....?

sheepo: does the duke have a society? a curly society? with golfing trips and curly related nights?

lottie: not really......conflicted now to be honest.....

silverstar: that'll do......

fofufou said...

You're right! The last curly haired fellow I saw was the thick kid in school, and that was 7 years ago now. Chadwick Cumberland Bunyard was his name. I'm not joking.

Manuel said...

idle: 7 years ago? good grief...

fofufou said...

Seven school years ago, that is, not real years. I'm 24 now, Manuel. Time has caught up with me.

Manuel said...

idle: good. I despise your youth, your vitality, and your ability to bend down without moaning......

Anonymous said...

I think its because all the curly-bops have a thing for the barwomen in the DOY, Manuel. Can't say I blame them...

Manuel said...

Sheepo: you know what? you are not the first person to have said that to me recently......they must be very efficient.....is that what it is? efficiency?

Anonymous said...

yes... thats it... efficiency...
*cough*

Anonymous said...

You're on to something here. Some kind of conspiracy...

Unknown said...

I can do wavy but not curly.

Manuel said...

sheepo: good......beautiful efficiency....ahem

jen: they are wiping them out! I knows it!

conan: then sir, you are no use to me!

Blondefabulous said...

This morning, in bed, with my very manly husband.

Manuel said...

blondie: nice......i think

savannah said...

the humidity does 1 of 2 things here, sugar...lank and stringy hair or HUGE wild curls. xoxo

Manuel said...

savannah: so you are blessed with curly baps everywhere!

The Mistress said...

My brother's a curly.

Next time he's in Belfast, I'll send him 'round.

Anonymous said...

My bro has ridiculously curly hair- as a child, I was always jealous cos mine's straight, where he had the best set of ringlets ever.... I have however seen the light and realise how annoying curly hair would be!

samcrea said...

My little lad is having his third birthday next week, so I took him to the barbers for shearing.. His golden curls are no more, and he is a proper little cropped pup now,

The women of course are not happy..

Another one bites the dust!

Manuel said...

MJ: no need honestly.....send a photo if you want....actually scrub that too now that I think about it...

sooz: try it and see!!

sam crea: and you're the one what done it.....for shame.....

nathan said...

Rumours of a curly demise have been severely overstated:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seventh/2828160036/

If only I knew where you worked Manual, I would come in and let you stroke it.

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