I was casting my eye round the restaurant on Saturday night, ensuring all was well and there were no shenanigans afoot (Saturday night is prime time for shenanigans and shenanigans cousin, tomfoolery. I have no time for either on a Saturday night), when I noticed a peculiar phenomenon. It shocked me at first, I'm easily shocked it has to be said.
And the more I thought about it the more I realised that I haven't seen a decent head of curly man hair in ages, maybe even years. I asked the others if they knew any men with curly hair. Not one of them knew a man with a proud curly head of man hair. This cant be right I thought. Where are all the curly men? I mean there were three boys in my class at school with curly hair and that doesn't even count the guy who got a perm. Fuck he got it rough for a while, a very long while. I mean you just wouldn't do it would you? I still wonder if he was going through some sort of breakdown at the time. It's not normal for 15 year old teenage boys to get perms.
be brave bouncy brother
As I scanned the dining room I noticed all the men had one of three basic haircuts - bald/going bald, spice boy, and old man side shade. There was one obvious category missing, one huge important category not represented. I speak of course about curly. There were no curly bops. Not a hint of them. Not one perfectly curly man hair was to be seen, except that is on table 18. But that was just a fat lad with his very unmanscaped chest hair protruding from his shirt.
be brave bouncy brother
But where have all the curly bops gone? There was a resurgence of the Wafro after Napoleon Dynamite but this didn't last for long. And really the world doesn't need anymore white men pretending they are black, Robert Downey Jr aside.
Have they all succumbed to the pressure of modern styling? GHD, those enemies of curly hair, now produce a straightening iron for men. Now, why men need a device all of their own I'm not sure. Does the mens version come with little footballs on it and go faster stripes? But are the curly haired chaps afraid to come out in the open? Do they hide their lush bouncy hair under beenie hats and what have you? Do they worry about public/pubic ridicule? Or has Will Ferrell just ruined it for everyone?
I have no answer to these questions but unless someone answers them soon and deals with this crisis in the sphere of male grooming then the world will lose it's remaining curly bops within 12 to 18 months. Be brave curly men, be brave and step out with confidence. Let your hair bounce the way nature intended it. Worry not about the shorned masses with their non-hair style. You're unique and special, not like the slow lad from school who ate his crayons, but rather in a Taj Mahal kind of way. We miss you and we need you, so come back out and wear your unmanageable hair with pride!
So when did you last see an impressive head of curly man hair?