Why the man tastes the wine......well why he used to.

"When a man is served before a woman, that also means you’re welcome to leave before paying. If you regard chivalry as ancient gibberish, you don’t deserve to eat well"

So Says Trevor White, yes him again, in his turgid little book "Kitchen Con."

"Bollocks to that" says Manuel in his tremendous blog, Well Done Fillet.

You're all the same to me
the bringers of cash...

Restaurant service is alive and kicking with old sexist habits. And, as hard as it is for me to admit, waiters are essentially the purveyors of these rituals. Does the little lady woman need to be served before the man? Is there a practical need for it? Of course there isn't! As for me I take a David Bowie approach to service, man or woman, you're all good for me. Wasn't always that way......

I've had to learn the hard way. I was trained by men and women back in the 1800's, or there abouts, and these people knew all about deference and "ladies first" style of service. And so it was passed on to me. The man got the bill, the man was presented with the wine, well hell he ordered it. The man, quite often, ordered for the "lady" unless of course she was one of those uppity Germaine Greer reading types. And even then she ordered the chicken and the "man" had the big man sized steak. And that's the way it stayed for quite a while.

But as society has changed restaurant service has in a lot of places failed to change with it. Still to this day men will be presented with the bill, they will still get first dibs on tasting the wine, and it will be assumed he will be eating the steak.

I admit that I had to learn the hard way, financially. I brought the bill to a table of two one evening and presented it to the bloke much to the very great annoyance of his boss. She paid the bill and told me that if I wanted a tip that I needed to ask her employee as I had no chance of getting one from her. D'oh! I didn't ask him all the same. But I have never presented the bill to the man at the table ever again. Manuel needs the cash...

Here's a list of sexist assumptions and what have you that, some, waiters often make.
I'm sure there are more, do feel free to add your own...

The host is always male. No, no they're not. I approached a fairly large table one evening just after they arrived to find out if they were all present and all that sort of stuff. I went straight to a chap that looked like he was in charge. BIG MISTAKE! "Don't ask him, I'm in charge round here" guldered a slight but forceful young woman. She pretty much owned me after that and kept making little jibes each time she ordered something, "Just check that is okay with my husband..." and so on. I haven't done that since.

The man will order/taste the wine. No, no they don't. Back in ye olden days, about 20 years ago that is, men ordered the wine, men tasted the wine, women drank the wine. Men were given the wine list as a naturally as breathing. You couldn't get away with that now though. I'm pretty sure that this archaic routine is in the past. Men were also supposed to taste the wine so as to save the little lady from the horror of tasting some rancid wine. I assume men have an ability to put up with sour wine better than the frail mouths of women. What utter tosh.Oh and the woman quite often enjoys a beer with her food just as the man quite often likes to kick back with a strawberry daiquiri whilst waiting for his caesar salad.

Men eat steaks, women eat chicken. This one has got nothing to do with waiters. But I've watched many a male chef preparing a menu and they always put "something light on for women", like chicken or if they are really lucky maybe some fish. They really do consider this to be their bit for women's lib. Chefs quite often consider salads and chicken and what have you to be women's food. Back when I was a wet behind the ears waiter I brought down steak and chicken to another waiters table. I popped the steak in front of the man and the chicken in front of the woman. Needless to say there was no tip that night either. Again utter tosh.

The woman must be served first. I knocked that on the head years ago. It simply wasn't practical, particularly with large tables. I serve it as I get it. I've yet to see a woman get upset or angry about it. I've seen a few men get agitated about it and step in with a snarky remark, "Oh it should be women first.." and so on. Yeah go fuck yerself big lad, if you wanna go tell my chef that be my guest.

The man gets the bill. Oh no he fucking doesn't. You wanna know where the bill goes? It goes slap bang in the middle of the table. Fight about it, arm wrestle, whatever, just pay it and tip the big fella. I don't know a waiter who hasn't fucked up with this one and I guarantee they changed the habit after. Women get rightly pissed about it. And pissing off the person paying the bill just doesn't make good sense. Not that I'm saying I'd still be doing it if it wasn't for the money but it did help me change my ways.......

So female readers of WDF have you experienced sexist attitudes in a restaurant? Do you get treated differently because you are a woman? Does this differ when you are out with other women from when you are out with a man? Share with me so I can learn and as a consequence earn.