Sunday, 8 June 2008

Touché

For one reason or another I decided to give the frenetic to-ing and fro-ing of the main restaurant a miss tonight. Instead I chose the more relaxed salubrious surroundings of the private dining room. This decision was in no way influenced by the early booking, 6pm, that would afford me the opportunity to skip away before 9pm. Some people are just so cynical.......


So there I was in the private room with a very dapper table of 18. They were just so lovely, polite and friendly and used words I had assumed were long lost such as "please" and "thank you". They handled themselves with class and civility whilst at the same time being relaxed and clearly enjoying themselves.

No one was in a hurry. Not I. Not them. The kitchen was screaming for the order but poohy to them! They were just in a grump because they had their TV taken out and were forced to listen to the football via the very worst radio in the world. It's clogged with years of flour, grease, steak and many many fishes.

But after a while all 18 had finally arrived and the first round of drinks had been served I approached the table to recite the soup and specials. The table went quiet. That's always a great help! And a good sign of the people you are dealing with.

"Good evening folks, I hope you are all well this evening."

There were pleasant smiles from the attentive group.

"Todays soup is cream of asparagus and todays special is, apart from me, ...." pause for ripple of laughter. They liked that one. Yes yes I know it's a terrible line but it gets them laughing which is what I want.

"....todays other special is some beautiful baked salmon with cress and dill ....WHAT THE?" and at that the room burst into laughter. The lady to the side of me had reached out and grabbed a big slice of my sugarloaf!

I was shocked!

Her husband was shocked!

The rest of the room wasn't so shocked as they saw her reach around.

It took five whole minutes before the room quietened down so I could recite the special again. Sometimes I do set myself up for these things. Who's special now then eh?!

Touché my dear touché.......

Not that I'm counting but that's three sugarloaf assaults in two weeks.
Rumors that I love it are of course strongly denied by me.

14 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Sarah said...

Just to clarify, sugar loaf is back not front? I have to say it's a bit much doing that! Why do women get away with it when if it was the other way around there would be outrage? Unless of course you are a shameless hussy and deserve it ;-) OOOOh chase me, chase me!!!

Jeny said...

I'm glad there was a pictures of a butt because the whole time I was thinking it was something else. Then I made the connection to the picture. I'm sorry but "sugarloaf" sounds like something... loaf shaped? lol

bendersbetterbrother said...

I bet you brought it on yourself, a subconscious (or not) wiggle when when you said "special".
Can you fit a comedy buzzer to it? I'd love to see that reaction.

Manuel said...

sarah: back bottom not front.......

jeny: no! omg no! That would have been something else ......no no no

bbb: bwahahahahaha......no.....no modifications or attachments....

MJ said...

You were asking for it, you little trollop.

Mudflapgypsy said...

Mj beat me to it. The picture of the "scebby" ass is a bit much....

Sadhbh said...

is that your bum in the picture??? cos really if you go around showing pictures of it...you're kindof asking for it....!!!!

Anonymous Boxer said...

are you wearing tight pants and backing up to the table, because that's gonna get you in trouble everytime.

Medbh said...

Obviously I didn't get a close enough look at your well handled sugar loaf when we met, Manuel.
It must be fab if all these women are being so cheeky.

Manuel said...

mj: trollop? nice.....

muddy: scebby? nicer....

sadhbh: ha!

boxer: no! my ass isn't good......it;s a car crash types of an ass.....

medbh: no no no......best avoided at all times.....as above.....

savannah said...

settle this once and for all, sugar..we need YOUR sugarloaf picture! ;-) xoxox

problemchildbride said...

Dear God, is that a leper's bottom in that photo.

I'm glad the sugarloaf's at the back, for your sake, toots. What is it at the front, the eclair?

Michelle said...

Sounds like a fun group, and I daresay you do ask for it!

Did they tip well? That is the question!

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