H is for...

H is for...

...Head Chefs. Lovely people, relaxed and well mannered. They rarely let their emotions override the situation. Not ones to make a drama out of a crisis. Ha! Nah I'm only messing with you. They are mentalists, moon beams, Lords of the Darkside if you will. There are two types of head chef, those that "do" and those that very definitely "don't". Those that "don't" tend to be the real fucking a-holes of the kitchen and tend to lead brigades that are a-holes too. Head chefs have to be referred to as "chef." Yes chef, no chef, sit on this chef. Oh the insecurity of it all. Talk about dramatic! I've seen plates of food being flung into the bin, plate and all, for some minor infraction like being over sauced. I've ducked for cover to avoid flying knives, pans, and cups. I've stood there and took volley after volley of the most sadistic, foul mouthed abuse you can imagine over daft things like asking for more chips etc. And the language out of them would make Twenty Major blush. Still they are marginally better than that really lazy bunch of no marks, the executive chef.

it's also for...

...Head Waiters. Lovely people, relaxed and not in the least bit snooty. They rarely let their emotions override the situation. And are never likely to make a drama out of a crisis. They never, ever, make sarcastic remarks about your lack of foresight when booking a table and would never dream of looking down their nose at your wine selection either. They would be offended if you tried to bribe them with money in return for a table. These people are professionals! Head waiters are masters of all they survey. What did you expect? Balance? Pfft!!!!

and...

...Head Cheese. Not as you might imagine the head honcho, the boss, the person that owns the place but rather a delightful if somewhat odd little dish. It's not cheese either. Head cheese is brain. Nice eh. Usually the brain of a sheep or a cow. It's boiled and poked a little and formed into a terrine. It's then served like a luncheon meat. How's that bad boy for ya? I'd try anything once but even brain is a bit much for a committed carnivore like me. But imagine the horror of someone who reads it wrong on the menu........crikey!

that's probably enough "head" to be getting on with so....

...Humble Pie. Rarely served in a restaurant. You may occasionally get it from a waiter but unlikely. And you will never get it from a chef. No when humble pie has to be served it will be the management who has to dish it out. And that's the way it should be.

and unfortunately....

...Hospital. Where my sister is. Which is a bummer. She will be okay and she needs to be as I have no idea when peoples birthdays or anniversaries are or other such family trivia. Yes, I joke to hide the worry. Family eh?