Friday, 6 June 2008

H is for...


H is for...

...Head Chefs. Lovely people, relaxed and well mannered. They rarely let their emotions override the situation. Not ones to make a drama out of a crisis. Ha! Nah I'm only messing with you. They are mentalists, moon beams, Lords of the Darkside if you will. There are two types of head chef, those that "do" and those that very definitely "don't". Those that "don't" tend to be the real fucking a-holes of the kitchen and tend to lead brigades that are a-holes too. Head chefs have to be referred to as "chef." Yes chef, no chef, sit on this chef. Oh the insecurity of it all. Talk about dramatic! I've seen plates of food being flung into the bin, plate and all, for some minor infraction like being over sauced. I've ducked for cover to avoid flying knives, pans, and cups. I've stood there and took volley after volley of the most sadistic, foul mouthed abuse you can imagine over daft things like asking for more chips etc. And the language out of them would make Twenty Major blush. Still they are marginally better than that really lazy bunch of no marks, the executive chef.

it's also for...

...Head Waiters. Lovely people, relaxed and not in the least bit snooty. They rarely let their emotions override the situation. And are never likely to make a drama out of a crisis. They never, ever, make sarcastic remarks about your lack of foresight when booking a table and would never dream of looking down their nose at your wine selection either. They would be offended if you tried to bribe them with money in return for a table. These people are professionals! Head waiters are masters of all they survey. What did you expect? Balance? Pfft!!!!

and...

...Head Cheese. Not as you might imagine the head honcho, the boss, the person that owns the place but rather a delightful if somewhat odd little dish. It's not cheese either. Head cheese is brain. Nice eh. Usually the brain of a sheep or a cow. It's boiled and poked a little and formed into a terrine. It's then served like a luncheon meat. How's that bad boy for ya? I'd try anything once but even brain is a bit much for a committed carnivore like me. But imagine the horror of someone who reads it wrong on the menu........crikey!

that's probably enough "head" to be getting on with so....

...Humble Pie. Rarely served in a restaurant. You may occasionally get it from a waiter but unlikely. And you will never get it from a chef. No when humble pie has to be served it will be the management who has to dish it out. And that's the way it should be.

and unfortunately....

...Hospital. Where my sister is. Which is a bummer. She will be okay and she needs to be as I have no idea when peoples birthdays or anniversaries are or other such family trivia. Yes, I joke to hide the worry. Family eh?

24 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

MJ said...

You can never get enough head.

Now what's this about your sister?

Did I miss a post?

Medbh said...

Oh shit.
May your sister have a speedy and complete recovery, Manuel!
And I hope it's not serious.

I can't believe that you're at "H" already. Also, I would rather eat dog doo than head cheese. Yack.

bendersbetterbrother said...

Hope your sister's OK too.

And where was H is for hot, which is what you hoped your food would be?

Native Minnow said...

The difference between your blog and mine is that on mine 'H' would have been for Horny women.

Or something equally classy.

Sadhbh said...

Hope your sister feels better soon manuel!! H is also for hideous which describes the clothes the customers wear or healthy which is what the food isnt or hammered which is how the customers get....i could go on....

Michelle said...

Now whose brilliant idea was Head Cheese?! Honestly, yuck.

H is for Healing Energy, which I am sending to your sister now...hope she is better.

savannah said...

all the best for your sister, sugar! keeping good thoughts for you and yours. xoxo

Anonymous Boxer said...

*shudder*

Head Cheese.

**Double Shudder**

Your Sister in the Hospital.

Sending your entire family best wishes.

Let's Kill Saturday Night said...

Hope your sister gets well soon.

carine said...

booooooo. hope your gets well soon x

sheepworrier said...

Send my best wishes to your sis for a speedy recovery. Hope everything turns out ok.
Get her some grapes - it seems to be the done thing when in a hospital, for some reason...

H for hotel restaurants - never quite as nice as normal restaurants. Why is that?

AnFearBui said...

H is for Hospital Food......here's hoping she won't need to endure it for long.

Blondefabulous said...

H is for hope your sis has a speedy recovery.

H is also for handheld, one of those little devices that can carry all those birthdays ad anniversarys so you can let her relax and recover.

Aaaaaand.... H is for heartburn. That which exemplary waiters get when they see the shitty tips crap for brains customers leave.

fatmammycat said...

Hope your sister gets well soon toots.

Gypsy said...

Has anyone you know of ever ordered Head Cheese not knowing what it really is and what was their reaction? Thanks for the "heads up" because that is one delicacy that will never be travelling down this throat.

I hope your sister gets better soon Manuel. Sending good thoughts your way to you and yours.

zeph said...

Hmm? Headcheese doesn't involve brains. It's more a matter of faces. You boil the head of the animal for a while. It does sound (and look) rather nasty. I suppose I'd try it, but I'd need a few pints first.

Anonymous said...

hope your sister recovers well!

lorraine@italianfoodies said...

Hope your sister is ok Manuel, not a nice time for anybody!!

Manuel said...

Cheers folks.......operation went well and she should be out by Sunday......fingers crossed....

problemchildbride said...

Top H's, laddie.

Sorry to hear your sister's been poorly. Hope she's weel on the way to recovery after the op. Best wishes to you all. It's never an easy thing when a loved one's in hospital.

Crispy said...

Ah Manuel, all the well wishing and healing thoughts reached me....you guys. I'll give you the gorey details sometime soon...

Conan Drumm said...

Hope the sister's through the worst of it.

H is for Hash Brownies!

Caro said...

Head cheese and sweetbreads could be mistaken for a toastie.

Bleurgh.

Hope your sister's better.

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