Thursday, 22 May 2008

Builderacide...

ol' bashy
takes the pain away...


Builder (bil-der)
n.
1. One that builds, especially a person who contracts for and supervises the construction of a building.

Builderacide (bil-der-a-sid)
n.
1. The lawful right* to beat said builder to death, preferably with his own tools. Valid reasons for committing builderacide include, but are not limited to, the use of jack hammers at 8am, any other noise that causes your head to throb and blood to boil, the negligent destruction of your back wall and gate, failure to clean up crap and crappola from the front of your house, and for playing "easy listening" and Country and Western "music" at levels that would make Hank Marvin flinch.


*Yet to be tested in a court of law...........yet.

17 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

In the interests of goodwill how about making them all one of your famous cups of tea? You know the one with the special ingredient. Best to do it early in the morning though to benefit from the full strength of the overnight bladder, don't you think?

savannah said...

of course, YOU wouldn't know anything about that sort of thing, would you, sugar? ;-) xoxo

ps. i did my best celebrating national waiter's day ALL day today!

pps. did you know waiter rant had your NWD emblem on his blog? fully credited to you, of course!

Medbh said...

I think BBB has the right idea.
Laxatives in the tea.
Have them all poop their brains out!

MJ said...

The city I live in is one gigantic builder's wet dream.

Construction everywhere in preparation for the 2010 Winter Fucking Olympics.

My goal is to be out of here in 2009.

Bridie Knight said...

If it was legal we'd all be doing it!
At least, I know I would have on several occasions.

You put words together well, cheers!

problemchildbride said...

You know, construction sites are very dangerous places. Lots of sharp things lying around... All too easy for a builder to trip and fall into a cement-mixer with the easy-listening turned up so high that nobody hears the blood-curdling screams...

All too easy.

*sigh*

Old Knudsen said...

If you miss out on any more beauty sleep yer tips will go doon 80%

Conan Drumm said...

I'm seeing a missed entrepreneurial opportunity here. Feed them and wait on them... they'll tip well and get the job doen quicker.

Manuel said...

am so so sick today...........

sheepworrier said...

Lucozade and a sausage sambo an you'll be as right as rain, ya big jessy!

Blondefabulous said...

I still say stash some questionable pharmaceuticals in their job site and call in an annonymous tip to the local constable. May not get rid of them for long, but a few days sleep is better than none!

daisyfae said...

sorry to hear you're sick... but i think you were supposed to give the builders the tea, not drink it yourself...

Tony said...

you've got a good shot at jusy nullification; who among us hasn't dreamed of Builderacide??

Native Minnow said...

I think you're completely justified. They can even call me to the stand as a witness at your trial. I'd purjure myself and give you an alibi so that true justice can be served.

savannah said...

feel better soon, sugar! xox

Manuel said...

bbb: kneecapping them in the back of the head would be more like it......

Savannah: I saw that and was very chuffed....!

medbh: I'd really rather blow their brains out.....

mj: Does anyone really care about the winter Olympics?

bridie knight: welcome! Thanks for that!

sam: I'm making a mental note of that......

old k: not fucking wrong....

conan: very much doubt it...

sheepo: ribeye and eggs with walnut bread and a cup of tea followed by a fruit pastille lolly......magic fucking moments....

blondie: Or if I had them I could take them myself.......

daisyfae: i did do it to myself in a way....

tony: you wanna make my dream come true?

minnow: friends? you cant put a price on that sort of friendship.....

savannah: I'm getting there.....

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