Thursday, 10 April 2008

The rise of the vending machines.....

Luddite
and proud!


"Fed up with rude waiters?" asked some shiny person on Tuesday's BBC News.

That perked me up from my afternoon slumber. "Shite they are on to me" I thought. I half expected to find a camera crew outside.

"Well if so, maybe this restaurant in Germany could be for you!"

The screen cut to something akin to an automated factory. The BBC shiny person was "oohing" and "aahing" at how with the pushing of a few buttons you could have your food delivered, automatically, to your table. Thus, apparently, cutting out the need for waiters, rude, or otherwise. As if.....

If you visit the restaurant's website, 's Baggers, you have to check out their, "Philosophy" section. It states,
" ...is basically very simple: We would like our guests to feel totally at home with us."
Eh?

Hows that then?

Unless you live in a car factory that ain't gonna happen now is it?!

"No more rude waiters!" Exclaimed the Shiny Person, in that aren't we all friends and I'm just like you sort of way. Except they aren't and they wouldn't be seen dead in this or any other restaurant where oiks like me eat.

I switched to the radio.

They were discussing the bloody automated restaurant too. This time with a phone in.

"So would you prefer an automated restaurant to a restaurant with rude waiters and slow service?"

Oooh good question!

Why not follow it up with, "Do you want a bag of lovely candy or a fist up the ass?"

Gimme a break.

"Yeah well I fink it's a great idea, no more rude waiters blah blah blah....." Shared one mouth breather.

"That'll teach the rude waiters of this world...." Said another.

Teach us what?

What?

As if all of a sudden restrauteurs all over the world would be sacking their waiters and replacing us with glorified vending machines. Never gonna happen. And anyway you like us. More than like us, you need us. Not just to bring your food and wine but to massage your egos and make you feel better about yourselves. Admit it!

And have you ever eaten in a German restaurant? The machines will probably have better interpersonal skills and livelier chat too. Automated restaurant? Pfft.....

Michael Mack, you've just made the list.......

*********

With thanks to Daddy or Chips and Toast for sending me this. It is in fact very old news as Toast sent me info about it last year!

16 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Blondefabulous said...

OK, here in the states we used to have those. They were called Automats. They were really popular back in the 40's and 50's. You go up to a vend-o-matic, drop a dime, (this was the 40's and 50's!) and get a sandwich, pie, coffee, yadda yadda yadda, whatever. The last one shut down in the 90's. I guess this is the updated version, huh? Well, when it takes the customers money, they get the wrong order, and they can't send the steak back to be re-grilled, we'll see how well it does. I always said part of people going out was abusing the waitstaff. (most of the time me in my section.) Take that away and it's just another boring burger run.

Manuel said...

blodie: true, I mean part of going out is the interaction with the staff, learning about new foods and wines.......customers cant really be left to their on devices....ever

MJ said...

I don't want to pinch its cold, steely sugarloaf.

Manuel said...

mj: what about oiling/grinding it;s gears?

paddy said...

will the machine know to stop serving wine to that man who just pissed in that pot plant over near the bar?

Medbh said...

Ugh.
Yes, because machines are better at being human than people.
WTF?

Anyway, when I saw this, I thought of the woman grabbing your sugar loaf, Manuel.

http://jezebel.com/378035/oldies-but-goodies

Old Knudsen said...

They can invent dildos and vibrators with various speeds and textures but still they are no replacement for an old manhoor like me.

Do you have to tip the machines? will they have blogs soon? who do you complain too?

savannah said...

what a joke, sugar! another example of too much money and not enough sense. xox

sheepworrier said...

"Do you want a bag of lovely candy or a fist up the ass?" - depends who's doing the fisting.

Judgement day is definately upon us...

Manuel said...

paddy: mmmmmmm does the waiter? I mean if you keep asking for it I'll keep serving it....

medbh: climax! Now I know where you get your fancy shoes from! Bwahahahaha

old k: mark my words, German machines will wanna take over the world, like in that movie, iWaiter......robot...

Savannah: such is life....

sheepo: upon you sheepo, upon you.......

eguinan said...

How did we get onto fisting?

(So quickly..)

Manuel said...

manuel: bwahahahaha indeed.....

samcrea said...

will these machine have interfaces with buttons to specify that

"I'm a fucking coeliac and cant have blah,blah,blah"
"I'm a vegan, and cant have anything that may have been grown in any field where any livestock grazed..."
"Can I have extra water?
Can I have extra sauce?
Where is the nearest pub with live music?
Does my ass look big in this suit??


They will be fully functional replacements for waiters, who are of course all rude....

Ali said...

Yeah, what you guys said.

It's very sci-fi, though. Makes me giggle.

Anonymous said...

ive seen this gaff
i even saw plates get stuck in the runways

its likek a big train set with sliding plates

i even saw the brush they used to push a plate along with when it got stuck
15 metres above my head

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