I'm using the Bellamy Brothers defense

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
If I swore you were an angel would you treat me like the devil tonight?

If I asked you if you wanted spuds with your fish would you assume I was paying for it?
The answer to all of these questions is of course "no."

Unless of course you are a mentalist or a first year out of college hungry for power teacher.

Now I don't want to go over old ground, but I am off work this week so I'm being a bit lazy, and I said I would revisit the points made in comments last week.

mwahahahahahah
we got your cash

If your memory is fading or you just cant be bothered to go back and read the post I'm referring to I shall summarise it for you,

1. Woman orders fish
2. Manuel offers/recommends a side order
3. Woman gets side order
4. Woman eats side order
5. Woman flirts with Manuel*
6. Woman enjoys meal
7. Woman asks for the bill
8. Woman gets huffy and accuses Manuel of "implying" things and trying to "con" her
9. Manuel throws bigger huff and refuses to change the bill
10. Regular readers/commenters Mr S.Worrier and Mr C.Drumm make remarks in defense of woman and restaurant customers in general.
    
11. Manuel goes to Dublin and doesn't make a total arse of himself**

* May not have actually have been flirting, she may have had a boss eye.
** To the best of his knowledge.

Now are we all up to date?

Conan was the first to make remarks in defense of restaurant customers saying,

Can I put a punter's perspective? No? Ah, go on... thanks. Yes, they hadn't read the menu closely enough. But, bear with me, but when they ordered the fish and you asked if they wanted anything with it you might have prefaced that by saying the dish did not come accompanied. Yes, you would then have been guilty of implying that they were thick/blind/illiterate... an implication they would have been happy to hear between the lines since it had consequences for their wallets.

I get what you are saying but I always state to the customer when they need to order a side dish or not as the case may be. But surely a bit of common sense should be applied. Restaurants are businesses after all. If I approach a table and ask them if they want a drink are they assuming that I'm just a hell of a nice guy and buying them a drink? No they don't. When the butcher says "Anything else love?" people know he is trying to sell them some more sausages. And when the waiter says would you like a side dish with your bloody sticking fish he is trying to sell you spuds! It doesn't pay to make assumptions especially if you are on a budget or just a tight fisted get.

Sheepworrier agreed,

Im actually with Conan on this one, Manuel - people don't wanna look cheap and ask if the side orders are included in the price, and generally assume a chip or whatever is included if they order the steak.
I also friggin hate places that charge for sauces as well. Cunts. Its like the chinese's that charge for prawn crackers. Tight-fisted hoors.

Well put! But if people don't want to look cheap then they really should read the menu and play close attention to the menu descriptions because they tend to look really really fucking cheap when they start giving me grief. I agree with you about charging for sauce, that is a total con. And prawn crackers should come free on the NHS.

Karen made some other points, but I'm saving those for a slow day. But there will be swearing, mark my words!

Lookity all I'm saying is read the menu, ask questions if you aren't sure and for fuck sake never ever hold you body against me......you don't know where I might have been.

By the way, Sheepo and Conan I'm not having a go at you, honest!