Monday, 4 February 2008

The Return of the Ebola Virus


Waiter down....

send for back up

headache, sniffles, cough, sweats, shakes

not hangover before you ask

super virus

yes has to be super virus

no ordinary cold can take me down

can only write in short abbreviated style

must save energy

may not make it through the night

is that you Grandad? You want me to come into the light?

oohh look 50,000 hits

go me

perked up a bit

cant write properly

you write

ask me anything you want

except where I work

not telling

have I ever tampered with someone's food etc?

will answer all

must sleep now....

if I don't make it through the night mourn me with loud weeping and gnashing of teeth

and lilies

and sad music

but not "knocking on heavens door"

cliche

have a little dog sit on my grave in the rain

and avenge my death

avenge me!!

(back later to answer questions)

33 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

Ah, the dreaded lurgy. Lot of it about. Hot whiskies. And tablets. Whiskies and any sort of tablets.
But tell me this. Has your lurgy been so bad you've not put hand to Rizla paper today? Eh? EH?

Sick, my arse.

Grandad said...

So you sneezed once and feel a bit flushed? It's only a cold. Don't be such a wuss.

And what the hell has Greyfriars Bobby got to do with it?

Queen Of Clean said...

Oh, don't tell me.....fucking 'MAN FLU!!!!'

Got enough tissues? Are you comfy enough? More pain killers dear? Do you want me to turn the telly over for you?

Go to sleep, it's a COLD!!!!!

Anonymous Boxer said...

1.Was was the last thing you ate?

2. I will be your avenger, good Sir.

3. Do not go towards the light.

Old Knudsen said...

Have you shaved yer arse yet?

What colour is yer pain?

If you give yer own clone a BJ does that make you ghey?

If a waiter died would they go to heaven?

Where do you work?

Medbh said...

Oh, Manuel, get it all over with before the IBA.
Make some tea with ginger, lemon and honey. And take your vitamins!

MJ said...

When you moisturize yer arse, do bits of fluff get stuck to the hairs afterwards?

Anonymous Boxer said...

One more questions: Was that truly your arse?

Hee.

savannah said...

whoa, sugar, has everyone seen your butt except me? damnitall!

(oh yeah, go to bed, get some rest and drink lots of fluids)

Phil - iced coffee said...

sorry to hear you're feeling poorly. get well soon.

Niall said...

get a grip. fairy!



get well soon dude

Sam, Problemchildbride said...

Poor you. Lucozade and a Beano comic - works like a charm

sheepworrier said...

Are you getting that wierd horny/sick thing, or is that just me?

Manuel said...

bbb: Bottle of Red Breast to hand but rizlas have been put beyond use for a day or so...

grandad: there's the sympathy I was hoping for....

Queenie: again I'm over come with the love here today....

Boxer:

1. curry - homemade madras

2. Thanks...get em....get em good

3. good advice...

Old Knudsen:
1. why would i?

2. blue, blue is the colour of pain....

3. straight too it at that...

4. pancake house...big week for us...

Medbh: It needs to be cleared up by Thursdays trip to london...!

MJ: never been a problem....

Boxer: If are referring to the two slabs of hard granite ....then yes that was it...

Savannah: check your letter box for a surprise....

Phil; cheers fella

Niall: cuntish twat

Sam: got the luco..does the Guardian count as the beano?

Sheepo: are you asking me out? crikey

Sweetchuck said...

manuel,

have you ever felated a smurf?

Manuel said...

sweetchuck: not since I let them out of your wardrobe......(dylan moran?)

upset waitress said...

What are you trying to say? You sick? Don't forget to put extra sneeze on that burger.

Conan Drumm said...

Was it a punter's revenge... a fat tip in hard currency, bathed in microbes? Think, who was it gave it to you?

Or did the peelers give it to you when you were 'helping them with their enquiries'... I mean, when you were 'locked out'?

Manuel said...

Upseto: Oh I did...yeah that's our special sauce madam.......

Conan: Actually I blame blogging and 4/5 hours sleep a night.....but I like the idea that it was the coppers......an attack on the working man....securicrats...

Mudflapgypsy said...

Ach, ye big jessie.
A wee sneeze and you think it's the end.

If you see a £50 note from the window and you can't be arsed going to get it you haven't go the flu.
Get a grip on youself man there's a twelve top needing drinks and half of them have weird dietary requirements, quick !!

Niall said...

cuntish twat eh? thats the last bit of sympathy u ever get from me let me tell u

Manuel said...

flappers: I'm sick.....I'm not dead.....I'll get the £50 you show me the window....

Niall: I'm the colour of you right now.....hehehehe

Native Minnow said...

Get well

sheepworrier said...

Manuel: whatever you fancy big lad...

Nick said...

Hello, is that the Flashing Widget helpline? I'm being blinded by the flashing Well Done Fillet widget. It's this Manuel geezer, he's obsessed with all these crazy bolt-ons. If you could just persuade him to restrain himself a bit....

Oh, and tell him his wee virus isn't at all important in the great scheme of things. Kenya's being torn apart and all he can think of is his itsy-bitsy snuffles?

Sweetchuck said...

Manuel,

Afetr an attractive lady customers has left the restaurant, have you ever sniffed their seat?

I understand this is common practice!

Manuel said...

minnow: or die trying.....?

Sheepo: in your dreams/nightmares

Nick: yes but um er okay then......

sweetchuck: I'd slag yer ma off but.....

INNER VOICES said...

get some sleep, take yer vitamins, lots of fluids...

wank, wank...

get to drinking yah pussy!!! get out the old bottle of whiskey, drink up, go to the pub and infect everyone else, than come home and pass out. misery loves company right? unless yer just looking for an excuse to stay home with ms. manuel.... then by all means, have a sick day!

ellie said...

Poor Manuel, hope your feeling better today.

Have you ever given a customer your phone number?

If so, he you ever got the call?

Ali said...

Aw, poor baby.

Don't die - I'm running out of server blogs to read even as we speak, I can't take losing another. You must recover. For my sake.

Is it just me? said...

Am making you chicken noodle soup as we speak!..will have to drink it myself you understand, what with you living in Belfast...
Get well soon Manuel.
X

PS have excellent rate at hotel in Dub 4 (ve close to bloggies venue with large safe for awards) let me know if you're sorted..

Manuel said...

inner voice: I have a bottle of red breast at hand.......

ellie: never....and so obviously no...I'm sad now....

ali: I live to fight/serve another day....

Is it?: hotel sorted though thanks! Now get dhl to bring me soup....

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