Saturday, 26 January 2008

Peeking behind the apron.....when it's still on

click click click
went the readers fingers


Twice in in the last seven days I have taken phone calls regarding naked waiter services. Not that anyone has been asking to peek behind my apron. But the women of Belfast seem to want more from their waiters these days than a cheeky wink and good wine recommendation. Some don't even want that!

Let me make this clear....

....not whilst I still have the ability to elevate my nose, and can still say no without having to resort to a voice box, and can button my own shirt and zip my own pants unaided, whilst their is still fight in my blood and sweat on my brow will any god damn buffed up fake waiter with black lycra shorts and dickie bow serve but even a glass of water in my god damn restaurant. As I write this I am standing up with a pair of black trousers held over my head Charlton Heston style,


"Over my cold, dead but covered up legs, will a naked waiter serve in my restaurant."


Naked waiters? They shame us all, even the dogs in the street.......(not that there are many dogs on the street any more, Thatcher killed them all for the fun of it...)

16 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Gypsy said...

Spoil sport....just think of the tips you'd get Manuel if you exposed that hunky body of yours and let all those woman admire your six pack and your cute ass....sorry I got a bit carried away there :)

psychicgeek.com said...

I agree with you, and can't help but wonder at the sort of folk who would want naked hairy boy bits near their food.

MJ said...

My readers are asking for a peek behind your apron.

24 hours has passed yet you have not delivered.

Must I remain forever dead and buried?

nursemyra said...

aw come on... just a peek...

Ribeye of your Dreams said...

Would it make you feel better if I asked to peek behind the apron?

RagingServer.com

Medbh said...

I don't want anyone's junk in my face while I'm eating.

Frankly, I think the request is demeaning and you should tell them to fuck off, Manuel.

Ali said...

But, isn't the pubic hair-food mix generally considered undesirable.

Of course, as fond as I am of our 63 year old bartender, I think it's best he keeps his clothes on. Dunno about this nudity in the service industry movement...

How many of ones coworkers does one really want to see nekkid? Yeah, I think I'll pass.

upset waitress said...

order of hairy balls, cumming right up!

You will do under the table favors...but you won't wait nekkid?

bendersbetterbrother said...

I don't even want to think about it. Fuckin' freaks, that's what they are.

Manuel said...

gypsy: settle....I make good money as it is....I'd lose as a fortune otherwise..

Geek: food or sex.....you cant have both on my shift...

MJ: .......

Nursemyra: settle.....beware what you wish for...

Ribeye: no not at all....

Medbh: I did! well sort of...

Ali: I'm sure that these chaps would be shaved and what have you....but eeeeww

Upset: I'll do neither actually....

BBB: correct as always....

Old Knudsen said...

I agree waiters should stay covered. you should have let MJ go.........

MJ said...

I built a shrine to your naked hairy arse.

Unfortunately, it went up in smoke when I lit a candle too close to the hairs.

D said...

Not exactly what I want to see when I'm eating.

I find it demeaning to even have fingers snapped at me, and ignore the guests as a result.

Not sure what my reaction would be if asked to do my job naked... Might hurt someone.

MJ said...

Your bare arse has incited lust in my readers.

They wanna see your willy now.

ellie said...

Naked waiters, who would have thunk it?
Last thing you need is a hairy hole in your face when your eating lasagne, believe me!

I WAS eating lasagne!

Yay! MJ's back! Well Done Manuel!

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