Monday, 17 December 2007

The Carnival of very certain Bitterness...


I was sure that blogging in December was going to be tough but beat me with a turkey leg and stuff me with cranberries did I think it was going to be this hard. I am getting too old for this malarkey. I'm starting to think I have maybe a year or two left in it and then I shall have to cut it down a bit, maybe a management role would be nice. Hey I can drink coffee and sit in the office just as well as any college graduate. In many respects I am like a professional footballer, beat out at 35 and looking for a role upstairs.

The weekend was another toughie. And as my mind has been turned to a spongy mush akin to cows in the late 1990's you will have to wait for another wee while for the precise details. But here are a few highlights to keep you damp until I can get it together.....

  1. I had a woman tell me that whilst she thought the food was fantastic (the best Christmas meal she had enjoyed in years) and that my service was beyond compare (she even kissed me on the cheek) she believed that £30.00 was far too much to tip anyone and she wouldn't be paying it. She left 5%. I evoked the gods of karma. She had better be in hospital by now....
  2. There was a "celebrity" table booked, well being that it is Belfast celebrity may be pushing it a bit, that caused a minor security scare and left me feeling let down and bitter. Who could it have been? What could they have done? And why did Manuel feel cheated? I did chuckle to myself when they had gone........all will be revealed tomorrow (ish). There's a Well Done Fillet badge if you can name the errant "celebrity"
  3. Ever wondered what it's like in Basra? Just pop your head into a kitchen on Black Friday. Hell hath no fury like a head chef who has to make something twice.
  4. Oh there's more, so much more. Well maybe no "so much" more, but there is more. Soon.
I was hardly online at all over the last few days. But I did manage to fulfill my RoundTable duties....

There is a youngling amongst us....a newbie....a new ray of light onto the world of hospitality. The Queen of Clean blogs at Feather or Foam and she's from Cork. So it's a bloody good job it's not a podcast then as we wouldn't understand a word she was saying. Here's a charming little story about Japanese tourists and their crazy ways. Welcome Queenie, pour us a drink and stay for a while. Will Work For Tips has been a lazy little blog waiter but did give us this reason why, "Yes, No, Good, Bad, Up, Down, High, Low - Why Restaurants Make Me Manic-Depressive." I feel your pain. Why write 500 words to say that you are pissed off when 42 will do just nicely. I give you Half Server Half Amazing' Letter to Erika Martinez. Ali at El Vermino Boulevard had a sweet day and is happy with life. Ha! Watch that go sour. Why am I so cynical yet still so devilishly handsome? At Least Call Me Miss swears more than me, the fucker. I love this story. Tony Dine at Dine in or take Out has his take on tipping. Don't we all. I find his hard to disagree with. Ribeye from Raging Server definitely wins title of the week for "The Jerry Springer Invite and the Crackhead Brigade." My "hit" of the week was about The Princess falling flat on her face trying to copy my act. Get your own shtick sister. But the best story of the week comes from the irrepressible Dennis at Don't Tip The Waiter. Try this one for size, "Next shift after work party extremely uncomfortable." Bloody genius. Saying that if you haven't read this one you really should.....I'm not sure if we are doing post of the week, but Dennis gets my vote, only cause I cant vote for myself.......


Get em read folks........

I'm writing this post on my new I Mac. God bless the dining public and God bless service charges. Three cheers for service charges.......what d'ya mean you don't like em.....mwahahahah

27 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

bendersbetterbrother said...

Errant celebrity, eh? Pamela Ballantine is known for getting up to high jinks, or so the story goes. That one about being upside down in a bar in Hillsborough whilst champagne was ...oh, another time.

Manuel said...

Someone end up here the other day by searching "Is Pamela Ballentine gay?" Why would I know/care? It wasn't her......

Medbh said...

Huzzah on the roundtable, Manuel. I look forward to reading them but not as much as your next post.
5% at the holidays means instant karma and coal in her stocking.

Anonymous Boxer said...

What is WITH PEOPLE and their lack of tipping????

Manuel - do you wish me to hurt those that hurt you?

'Cuz I would.

conortje said...

I'm totally shocked that that woman said that! What did you say to her? Silly cow.

missjones said...

It wasnt Julian Simmons was it?

toast said...

great post but i had to c&p it into a text editor because that threadless ad was melting my eyes

Old Knudsen said...

Oh Oh I know who it was, it was that monkey looking nesbitt fella who was in the beer ad, I'd totally ride Pamela Ballantine.

Was It Liam Neeson? Jackie Collins? Jackie Fullerton? am I close? is there a prize? I wouldn't give ya £30.00 for you doing yer job a kiss on the cheek maybe.

sheepworrier said...

Stephen 'Om nom nom' Nolan?

Gypsy said...

Hey Manuel, I have just visited all those blogs and they were well worth a read. Takes me back to my days as a server and the different world I used to dwell in.

Can't wait to read more about Black Friday and your weekend.

Manuel said...

Medbh: Coal? Wouldn't waste it on her...

Boxer: Do it....do it now....

Conortje: I was taken aback...I mean what can you say without getting fired...?

Miss Jones: Welcome...Not our Julian Much higher on the food chain than that....

Toast: Replaced....

Old Knudsen: Is that a threat or a treat.....?

Sheepo: NO, FUCK I HATE THAT MAN....

Gypsy: Everybody should be made too do a year in a service industry......it would make the world a nicer place.......

Crispy said...

Was it one of em folks on the hill?!

bendersbetterbrother said...

Perhaps one of our local Folks on the Hill?

bendersbetterbrother said...

Fuck, didn't realise I was broadcasting it...

*thinks in to self*

Sassy Sundry said...

I got out my special doll. That woman might be dead by now.

Medbh said...

Hey, how was IKEA, Manuel?
Buy anything spiffy?

Manuel said...

Crispy: One point to you....now name the minister....

BBB: As above.....he is a real comedy character....

Sassy: sweeeeeeet

Medbh: I spent over a grand yesterday....Wow!....as well as the new mac I got a new table to put said mac on and a new cabinet thingy for the sitting room......I hadn't spent any time with LMM all week so it was just really sweet to be out n about together......

MJ said...

Which one of yer arse cheeks did she kiss?

Obviously the one you haven't yet sent me a pic of, eh?

Manuel said...

Mj: why wouldn't she kiss both eh? why why?

MJ said...

Because you turned the other cheek.

Manuel said...

boom boom......

dave said...

It was Bairbre de Brun and Iris Robinson, in the dining room...with the candlestick!

Manuel said...

Dave you have a sick and twisted mind.......

bendersbetterbrother said...

A real comedy character? You'd have to think that was sarcastic, which narrows it down to nearly all of them.
In order...

Michael McGimpsey
Gerry Kelly
Peter Robinson
Jeffrey Donaldson

I'm going to rule out the terrorist murderer, the alleged wife beater and even the over ambitious party wrecker.

Michael McGimpsey?

CY Jang said...

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Chyng-Yang Jang & Michael Stefanone
------------------------------------------------
Chyng-Yang Jang
Assistant Professor
Department of Communication
University of Texas at Arlington
P.O. Box 19107
Arlington, Tx 76019, USA
cyjang AT uta DOT edu
(+1) 817-272-4142


Michael Stefanone
Assistant Professor
Department of Communication
The State University of New York at Buffalo
359 Baldy Hall
Buffalo, New York 14260
ms297 AT buffalo DOT edu
+1 716-645-2141

Upset Waitress said...

This post really doesn't merit a response from me...but hell, I'm buzzed, so I have a hard time shutting the hell up. So all the great server blogs are on this Round Table thingy? What am I? I know I'm a trash bag but hey, give me some credit for being a freak will ya? Booo!

:)

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