Thursday, 18 October 2007

The Waiter Episode 1 - Part 2 Meet the Contestants


Eight trainees must serve it out over the next 6 weeks to see who will become THE WAITER and secure themselves a glamourous position working alongside Manuel! The trainees will have to serve interesting celebrity guests and the general public alike with style, class, professionalism and good humour under the ever watchful eye of Manuel. Cash is king and the trainees with the lowest amount of tips earned each week will be put to the public vote and lose their chance to be (pause for dramatic effect) THE WAITER! Can you wait?

Lets say "Hi Guys" to the final 4 trainees

We have been introduced to the first four lucky trainees, all desperate to become THE WAITER, now lets meet the final 4 contestants.

Trainee number 5 is called Unidentified Wrestler. She is very loud. She is very scary. She is a 26 year old female wrestler who paints beautiful landscapes for the tourists in her home town of New York. Unidentified Wrestler is the practical joker of the group and has already had the production crew in fits of laughter. "I'M A LOVER AND A FIGHTER!" Shouted the diminutive New Yorker, UW is just under 5ft tall. "YEAH I LOVE TO HEAR PEOPLE LAUGHING AT MY JOKES AND IF THEY DON'T LAUGH I PILE DRIVE THEM UNTIL THEY DO!" Laughed Unidentified Wrestler whilst pounding her fist into her hand. When not beating people or making them laugh UW loves to spend time with her 12 cats, 5 dogs, 3 lizards and her snake called Hogan. "I LOVE ANIMALS THATS WHY I'M A VEGGIE." When asked how she would cope with serving rare steak or foie gras Unidentified Wrestler became very quiet and then said, "I don't know what I'll do ....... BUT I WANNA WIN THIS THING SO C'MON BRING IT ON!" She says she wants to win "TO SHOW THE STUFFED SUITS OF THE RESTAURANT WORLD THAT THEY NEED LIVENED UP AND I'M THE WOMAN TO DO IT YEAH!"

Trainee number 6 has come from all the way from the land of dykes and canals, no not Manchester, but Holland! Donardtje is 34 years old and worked as a supermarket manager before giving it all up to try his hand at waiting. Donardtje describes himself as being, "vivacious, daring, and oh so handsome!" He feels his time working as a supermarket manager has served him well and gives him a leg up on the competition. "Well if not a leg up, it'll be a leg over. Hehehehehe. No but seriously I know what customers need and how to give it to them." Donardtje's only worry is the house he will have to share with the rest of the trainees. "I need a big bed and plenty of calming sounds and smells if I am to get a good nights sleep. If I don't get a good nights sleep I'm just a wreck for the rest of the day! Oh and don't even talk to me about sharing a bathroom. Oh my God that's going to be so difficult!" Donardtje wants to win THE WAITER because he feels the supermarket isn't glamourous enough for a man of his character. "Oh Don't! It's just so dull sometimes, all the little Dutch ladies with their funny foods it's just getting me down. I need something glamourous and exciting in my life, and not just my life!"

Trainee number 7 is a self confessed fitness freak and gingerphile from Dublin Ireland. "Oh I love a ginger I do!" says Phat Marmoset! Phat Marmoset is also 34, she is married and keeps Marmosets in her garden. She works as a Dj on hospital radio. "I do it for the old people, I love the old people. I love ginger people more but I love the old people all the same." When asked why she wanted to give up something she clearly loves to take part in a competition Phat Marmoset said "All the old people I see and talk to are nearly dead which is a bit of a bummer. So I decided to give this ago so I could meet some old people who weren't nearly dead!" Phatty, as she likes to be called, runs about 15k a day and believes this will give her the edge over the competition. "A sound body gives you a sound mind and that's what you need to win in life, well that and ginger hair." Phatty is teetotal and adheres to a strict diet. She wants to win so that she can, "Put forward the case of ginger people. And I'd love to meet an old Ginger millionaire.."

Trainee number 8 is Cletus a farm hand on his daddy's farm in the wilds of Tyrone NI. Cletus loves nothing more than a "big feed" and feels that this is good enough reason to enter a competition to become a waiter. Cletus is 22 years old and the baby of the group. He works hard and plays harder. "Sure that's what me mammy and daddy taught me on the farm." Cletus has never been in a proper restaurant but nothing seems to worry him. "Ah now it's just a place where people pay too much for fancy food and grape juice. I've calved cows at three in the morning so I can take food to a table." Cletus describes his table-side manner as being "straight and direct, no bullshit, I'll tell it as it is." Being 6ft 4 and built like a wall Cletus thinks he will be a hit with the ladies. "Ah now I'll be having a little fun with this. If the customers don't bite maybe the some of the other trainees will." Asked if he would miss the farm Cletus responded "I've a photo of daisy and my big tractor in my wallet, they are my good luck charms. Now where's the feed at?"

So there we have it people, the contestants for THE WAITER! Who will win? Only you can decide! The group are settling in for their first night together in THE WAITER house. Who will share a bed? Will they get on with each other? Will Old Fnudsen feel out of place with people much younger? Will Cletus try it on with Phatty? Find out tomorrow when we go behind the apron and peek inside THE WAITER house.......

THE WAITER
Can you wait?

The events depicted in The Waiter are fictitious. Any similarity to any person/blogger living or dead is merely coincidental. And just for laughs."

19 People trying to get Manuel's attention:

Medbh said...

Oh sweet jeebus, I am loving this, Manuel.
I can picture the cut-throat hijinx already.
Make it good and bloody.

savannah said...

well done, sugar! i've picked a first draft favorite already ;-)

*is this going to be a once a week show or every night ????

i need to plan

Manuel said...

Medbh: Blood on the floor? What an idea....

Savannah: Twice a week. One show from the restaurant, one show from the house.

Is it just me? said...

Is it too early for me to open a book?

fatmammycat said...

Is Cletus ginger? I'm asking for a friend.

sheepworrier said...

1st challenge - serving a table of teachers. Go on, you know you want to...

Old Knudsen said...

gingerphile? Thats just sick.

Manuel said...

Is it? No go ahead, I'll be having a few pounds on something...would that be cheating?

FMC: Unfortunately not...

Sheepo: You have to build up to these things...

Old Knudsen: I have a troubled mind....

Anonymous Boxer said...

I LIKE THE WRESTLER.

Manuel said...

SHE SHOUTS A LOT THOUGH...

sheepworrier said...

WHAT?

Manuel said...

Sheepo: I SAID SHE SHOUTS A LOT. I noticed on the booking sheets a reservation for a Mr and Mrs S. Worrier. What fun could be had with that I wonder...?

sheepworrier said...

None. None at all...

Freshblade said...

Cletus sounds H.A.W.T.
Is he going to be the Eye Candy?

yoyo said...

Hehehe I want Unidentified Wrestler to win!
She wouldnt take any crap from stupid stuck up twats when they order 'blue' steaks and then bitch because they're cold in the middle!

ellie said...

6ft 4 eh? ;)

Manuel said...

Sheepo: Oh I dunno....

FreshBlade: Well him and Manuel....

Yoyo: I FUCKING HATE THAT. It really annoys me. They want it blue but then complain it's cold 2 minutes later!!!!

Ellie: You like those stats?

Mudflapgypsy said...

My money will be on Cletus.
I was at a wedding with a bunch from Tyrone this year and one of the women at the table professed to being from a "good grubbin' family".

They do seem like a big feed then.


If Cletus is anything like the guy I saw in a pizza place in Ballymena he'll gross the viewers out by pickin' his ass and sniffin' his hand. I am not joking.

Go Cletus !

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